My parents are sooooooooooooo irritating - We fight a lot - Information for teens

When you were small, your parents took care of you.  They decided most of the time when you would go to sleep, where you would go, what you would wear and eat. 

Now you are a teenager and it feels like they still want to make all the decisions for you.  

This is just one of the reasons you are constantly fighting.  You want to be free and they are holding on...

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You feel that your parents do not understand what you are going through, they are old and do are not 'with the times', but the biggest thing you forget is that your parents were also teenagers, they have way more life experience than you, they know the dangers of life and most of the time they just want to protect you, even though you just want to break free and live your life and THINK you know everything.

But eventually, kids grow up and become teens. And part of being a teen is developing your own identity — one that is separate from your parents'. It's totally normal for teens to create their own opinions, thoughts, and values about life; it's what prepares them for adulthood. 

There is nothing wrong with the fact that you are trying to 'find yourself' and want to do your own thing and want to have a say in decisions, but once you start screaming and fighting, you are actually showing your parents that you are not mature enough to make your own decisions.

You do not want them to treat you like a little child, but you sure are acting like one in many cases.

Something very important to remember - You maybe feel that you are not a child any more, but you are still THEIR child and they want to love and protect you.

If you want to be taken seriously and want your parents to know that you can take responsibility in making decisions and doing the right thing, you will have to proof that to them.  

This means having a civil conversation and stating your side of the story.  If they have listened and still decide that they will not allow you to do what you ask, you need to understand that they have a reason for their decision and you need to accept it, even if you do not agree.  

Next time it may change and they will give you permission and give you the opportunity to show them that they did not make a mistake.

It can be a huge adjustment for your parents that you are growing up and getting older and they may want to 'keep you small for longer'.  Sometimes you need to remind them that you are not a little 5 year old any more and they must try and respect the fact that you also want to make your own decisions.

You can also explain to them that they need to give you a chance to make your own mistakes.  Assure them that you know they are there for you and if you feel scared or confused or need any help, you will come to them.

Clashes are very common between teens and parents — teens get angry because they feel parents don't respect them and aren't giving them space to do what they like, and parents get angry because they aren't used to not being in control or they disagree with the teens' decisions. 

No matter how old your are, you are always your parent's child and they want to protect you, so there will be fights breaking out while you are trying to pull away.  This is part of being a teenager and it is normal, but being a teenager does not give you the right to be mean or disrespectful towards your parents.

There is some good news.  The older you get, the less the fighting will become, because you and your parents will adapt to the changes and you will also start understanding and respecting one another more.  So hang in there, say your say in a decent manner, listen to your parent's side and try and come to an agreement where both of you are happy.

Sometimes though, you will just have to accept that your parents still have the final say... it will not always be nice, but that is the way it is.   One day when you have your own kids, you will understand so many things that your parents did, which you then thought were 'so irritating and uncool'.