The Brain 'Train'

allandharvey (52)in #steemiteducation • 6 years ago (edited)

From my last article:-
https://steemit.com/steemiteducation/@allandharvey/emotional-intelligence-attitude-zero

Behaviour, Emotional Intelligence and Attitude are all a manifestation of the way we THINK!!

I bet you have asked yourself this question a million times:

"Why do people do the things that they do?"

Right?

Have you noticed that on the one hand we are all the same, yet on the other we are so different. For example we all have a need for love, security, work, leisure, food and drink, friends to mention a few. However we differ when it comes to what these aspects of life mean to us. How much love I need or the frequency and kind of love I need? The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman (See http://bit.ly/2ry3gXY) is a typical example of this.

And so it is with all these facets; the security, work, food and drink that we each require, differs for each of us. And that is because we all think differently. If you thought it was difficult to change behaviour and attitude try changing the way you think.

In the same way I cannot change the way you behave, I cannot change the way you think. Only you can take responsibility for that. What I can do however, and ironically will try through this communication, is to INFLUENCE YOUR THINKING.

This is no mean task. WHY?

Because your thinking comprises a lifetime of values, perceptions, beliefs, philosophies, self-image and motives. It is my belief that you started really thinking for yourself around the age of eight years old. We call that the age of accountability. Prior to that, imagine every influence of love, protection, food, drink, pain, sensation, hearing, sight and taste. These made up your first paradigms of life. They were so influential that at 8 years old you start being held accountable as you began to act out those earlier life experiences.

I hope that this example from those early years and the impact it had on my adult life will provide some insight.

I was separated from my own mother at the age of five, taken to another country by my father and step-mother. This was my lot for the next 12 years. Of course I can not remember much about those early years with my own mother, safe to say that what followed the separation was completely foreign to my young sensitive and innocent soul.

The emotional and physical abuse took hold of me to such an extent that it became the norm.

I did not know any different. As ridiculous as it might sound, that norm formed the basis to my beliefs, values, and perceptions of what life is for a child. I grew up with that value and carried it into my adult life. It eventually manifest in very hurtful behaviour aggravated by the abuse of alcohol. Imagine the impact of this on my immediate family. Horrendous to say the least.

For me to forsake 23 years of substance abuse I had to challenge the way I thought about my addiction, my life, my family, my health, my spiritual well-being, my finances, my work, my relationships outside the home and more. In other words I had to challenge those facets of my thinking i.e. values etc. The most difficult part was coming to a realisation and acceptance that I needed to change much of the very core of my thinking. It was going to require a complete paradigm shift or mindset change.

I would certainly have to challenge and change certain values, beliefs, perceptions and philosophies. There was no doubt that my self-image, in other words, what I thought about my self, would need to be addressed. I also had to understand what my current motives were, in order for me to find out who I really was.

Can you get a sense of just how complex this journey of long-term behaviour change really is?

Now please bear in mind that I am speaking from my own personal and miraculous journey. Also do not forget that I made this massive transition from an addiction plagued life to a clean more christian lifestyle, in a two week period. As unbelievable as that sounds it is true. And therein lies the true potential of the human psyche.

It is very important to know that you cannot stop a counter-productive or destructive behaviour without replacing it with something more desirable. In other words you cannot leave a vacuum. Before you even realise it , you will be sucked back into the old habits.

If you want to realise your hidden potential to be a more effective human being, you have to REPLACE the old you with a new beginning.

For over 20 years I have dedicated my life to influencing the way people think and importantly, providing the practical tools to ensure a successful transition. I can reassure you that ANY change is possible if you truly desire it.