Fight Stress With Stress

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Over the course of my teaching career, I have realized that it can be rather stressful. This is especially the case if you are very invested in the students' well being and studies. I don't know about the other teachers but my default emotion when my students do not do well is frustration. However, like the old saying 'fight fire with fire', there are days that you just have to fight stress with stress. Let me first start with a bit of context.

When Students Disappoint You...

To be clear, I'm not blaming my students for my grief. I believe it is just a difference in expectation and situations. For example, I remember a research student of mine who was just chill, too chill. She decided to start procrastinate on her year-long research project and start only 3 months before the deadline.

I was rather disappointed. I tried my very best to help her, providing her with guidance and materials that could help her along the way, but after a few weeks, she still came to me with nothing. I started reprimanding her for not taking it seriously, reminding her that if she did not start getting her act together, she may not be able to graduate. She then smiled and claimed that I should chill and not to worry as all will be well and I would not have to worry. She confidently claimed that she can finish her entire dissertation in a few days.

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I think the only word to describe my feeling at that time was anger with a big scoop of disappointment. I lost my composure and unleashed a long lecture on her. At the end of it all, I felt that I cared more about her work than she did. This was not the first time I felt this way and after a few times, I felt that this was unhealthy for my students and sanity. Since those days, I have started looking for other ways to control my emotions.

I Started Fight Stress With Stress

I started fighting this stress with stress. Stress, in this case, is an acronym for STepping back, REassess the Situation & Speak Life. Often times, I realized that I get caught in a loop, what happens is that my mind would tell me to lecture the students and that it would be good to let them know what they did wrong. However, upon reflecting on the situation, I realized that my lecture probably did more harm than good.

Thus, I have started stepping back by stepping away or handing the ball back to the students and asking them to explain themselves. This gives me time to reassess the situation and asking the right questions to determine if the student deserves to be reprimanded or punished.

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Since the student has most of the time to speak, this gives me the opportunity to collect my thoughts and speak life to my students. Speaking life is a term coined by one of my mentors about speaking only what builds the student up and not what tears them down. This includes informing them of real-life consequences as well as giving them handles as to how to best overcome their situation. This has helped me over the years stay saner but there are times when my emotions still get the better of me.

Conclusion

I suppose this comes with the job. We as teachers or parents are asked to care for the children's well being. As such it is tough to not get invested and ultimately I believe it is all about telling yourself how anger is not the solution. Sure, we do get disappointed at times. However, it is in those situations that we remember to STep back, REassess the Situation & Speak life into the childnren's lives.