Growing up in a house with a 'single parent' - Information for kids
There can be different reasons why you are raised by a 'single parent' (only your mom or dad). The other parent is not part of your life, or has died or they are divorced and you live with your mom or dad who did not get married again.
A single parent is a parent that parents alone without the other parent's support, meaning this particular parent is the only parent to the child, responsible for all financial, material, and emotional needs
If you are living with only one of your parents because of a divorce it can make you feel very upset, scared and even cross with one of the parents. If it is because one of the parents died, it can make you feel sad and also scared that something will happen to your other parent.
No matter what the reason, you will have some emotions about this.
You also might feel happy that your parents split up and aren't fighting anymore, but you may also feel upset when your mom introduces you to a man that she is dating. You might love the uncle or grandma who takes care of you, but sometimes you might wish you could have one family with both a mom and a dad.
Having any emotions is not wrong, but how you deal with it can create a problem. If you lock yourself in a room and feel sad the whole time or are aggressive and fight with your parent the whole time, that is not healthy.
It is not always easy, but you need to speak to someone about your feelings, be it your mom, dad, family member or even a friend who also grows up in a single parent house.
A single parent do not always get help financially, so they have to work. You may feel that you are not getting enough attention, but you can also do things to make this better. If you understand that your parent can not always be with you, because they have to earn money for your needs, that is already a step in the right direction.
This does not mean that they must JUST work. You and your parent can have a discussion about this and come to certain decisions like for instance, you will finish your schoolwork before they get home, then you can help with the food and you can spend some quality time together.
You do not have to make huge changes, but set some specific times and dates where both of you must be present and then you use the time you have to talk to one another.
Being a single parent is a huge sacrifice, so if you can also make some sacrifices and try and make things easier for your parent, that will help a lot.
This also mean that you will try not to WANT everything, not put extra pressure on your parent by whining about everything or fighting the whole time and finding fault with everything they try and do for you.
You may not realize it now, but for most parents their children are number one and they will do anything to make you happy, so try and give something back, no matter how small, even if it is just a hug every day to let them know that you appreciate that they are playing the role of both parents in your family.
Also remember, your mom or dad is also human and they also need their friends or just to have fun some times, so take some of the responsibility on yourself and let them enjoy themselves, before they start doing everything again with you in mind.
You can read more here on what it feels like to grow up in a single parent household and maybe you can relate with a few of these things.
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In these situations, it is so important to foster strong and open lines of communication. We need to make sure our kids are comfortable talking to us and sharing their feelings. This will help us to guide them through some of the difficult emotions they might be dealing with.
This is a very timely subject to post about, and it's looking at the perspective of the sacrificing parent as well so it balances things. Ultimately, this offers perspective on how both the child and parent can work together to get through tough times (I am sure many of them) when only one parent is present to care for the child.
I admire all the single parents, they are indeed the strongest person in the world. :)
I agree - parenting is difficult - doing it alone is worse
It is very hard to be a single mother, I say this from my own experience I grew up with my mother and now I am alone with my daughter, always want to give the best to a child but with sacrifice it can be achieved and get ahead.
Very true - you can just do the best you can and I am sure you do
Yes its very really true I can relate since I was once a single parent/mother
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