I have a crush - Information for boys and girls

You like seeing a specific boy or girl at school.  It feels like you are just so much happier once you have seen them.  You sometimes feel shy around them or do not know what to say. You like doing things with them and you miss them if you do not see them.  Do you have a 'crush'?

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As we grow older, we can experience different feeling.  You will get older and become a teenager and then an adult and with these different phases comes a lot of changes, not only in your body but also in the way you feel about things and certain people.

This can all be very confusing.  When you have special feeling towards somebody, you will not always know how to react.  Do you speak to them?  Do you ignore them?  Do you run away?  These are all normal feelings and do not stress yourself out about this.  There is nothing you can do about these feelings and it can develop into something more where you have an actual relationship with the other person, if they feel the same about you, or it can be a feeling that will go away over time.

A crush can help you realize what you like about certain people and that will determine how you will feel when you grow up and what you like in a person and what type of person you will choose to be you mate one day.  This is all part of life and all people goes through this at one or other stage of their life.  

Some people act on the feeling and will ask the person they have a crush on out or spend more time with them, or sometimes you have a crush on someone that you know does not even know about your existence and will just admire them from afar.

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You cannot choose who you have a crush on, it kind of just happens and you can have a crush on anybody.  From a friend to an older person.  It can even be on a person that you do not know, like a celebrity and even though you know you will never meet that person, it can still be fun to imagine that you know each other and have a lot in common and spend time together.

You may catch yourself day dreaming about the person you have a crush on or imagining you are getting married to them or write their name in your diary.  There is nothing wrong with this and it is part of growing up. You will maybe just realize one day that that feeling is gone or you will start having a crush on someone else.

Having a crush can be exciting and a lot of fun, but it can happen that somebody has a crush on you and makes you feel very uncomfortable in the way they react towards you or speak to you. That is no fun.  So if anybody makes you uncomfortable in the way they treat you, you need to tell them or an adult that can speak to them.

It is also your responsibility if you act on your feelings and you get the idea that the other person do not feel the same way, to back off and leave them alone.  You do not want to make them feel uncomfortable and you need to accept that not everybody will like you in the same way that you do.

If you have a crush on somebody it is your decision what you are going to do about it - maybe you want to ask that person out or maybe you just want to enjoy the feeling without acting on it.  Only you can decide what you would like to do.

If you are afraid that you will be rejected, you maybe rather want to leave it, but there are certain thing on which you can pick up to know that the other person feels the same way about you and that you stand a chance of having a relationship with them.

If someone totally ignores you when you walk past you or never talks to you or laugh at any of your jokes, it is safe to assume that the other person do not feel the same about you and then you will have to accept it.  We cannot force people to feel a certain way about us.

If someone tells you they have a crush on you, but you do not feel the same way about them, there is no reason to be mean to them or tease them.  It took a lot of courage to tell you that, so be kind and honest and tell them in a nice way that even if you have respect for them and value them as a person, you do not have a crush on them.

Life is not always fair and crushes will come and go and your heart will get hurt many times, but that is the way life goes.  Eventually you will end up with someone who feels the same way as you do.  

It does not mean that if you are not in a relationship (even if all your friends are) that there is something wrong with you.  Things happen when it is suppose to, not always when you want it to.

Like the saying goes - 'Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs (or have a lot of crushes) before you find your prince/princess.'

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