SCHOOL FOR PARENTS: How do children develop social and emotional intelligence skills?

How do children develop social and emotional intelligence skills? The answer is simple: practice, practice and practice again.

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Parents should explain situations to children again and again and set a good example. And it may seem endless. However, there are ways to quickly develop emotional intelligence in children, using the daily difficulties that arise in each family. The next time problems arise in the relationship between your children, think about the lesson you can learn from this.

1. Talk about feelings.

When parents talk with their children about the feelings and needs of others every day, children become more sensitive and open, more inclined to understand the point of view of others. This pattern is also true in the case of young children: when a mother tells her child about the likely feelings of other children, he develops empathy and is less jealous.

2. Ask questions about feelings, needs and choices.

"How you feel?";
"What do you want?";
"What did you do?";
"What did this lead to?";
"Did you get what you wanted?";
"Did your brother get what he wanted?";
"How do you think he felt?";
"Do you think it's worth doing the same or the opposite the next time?";
"What can I do next time?";
"What can you drive?"

Listen to the child's response, nod and repeat after him to show that he understood correctly. Stay friendly and open-minded. Use a sense of humor If the child says, "The next time you hit him," ask him, "What can happen after that?" Try not to enter into moralization and not condemn the child. In the process of reflecting on their own feelings, children develop honesty and correction of judgment. Often good judgment develops from bad experience.

3. Explain and show an example.

When the children are struggling to get a toy or something else, tell one of them: "Ambar, tell Pamela:" When you finish playing with this toy, tell me, please. "After that, go to another child: "Pamela, tell Ambar:" Yes, of course. " You may be surprised to see that children will repeat their sentences word by word. Your advice will help children solve problems.

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4. Look for solutions that benefit everyone.

Each family has daily opportunities to discover the difference in needs and find a solution that satisfies everyone. For example, you can start with this sentence: "You want to go to an amusement park and your brother wants to play in the playground What can we do to make everyone happy?

5. Show an example with messages "

This means that you should talk about your feelings instead of condemning someone. For example, when you see your daughter yelling at her brother: "You are a fool!", Teach her to say: "I do not like it when you say insulting words to me".

The "messages" are to describe what you feel, what you need and how you see the situation. You can ask the child to do whatever he wants to correct the situation. Ask your friend, but clearly: "I feel anxious because I want to arrive on time to visit you and you do not want to get dressed. Please, put on your shoes faster".

6. Establish an example of social behavior.

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The way in which parents relate to each other becomes an example for children. Use it for the benefit of your family: set an example of the behavior you want to see in your children. For example, you can tell your spouse: "Only one banana remains, let's divide it." Show me an example of how to set limits correctly, for example: "Sorry, I took a laptop. As soon as I finish working, you can use it". Say it with a smile and hug your spouse.

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