Learn to let go

in #steemiteducation5 years ago (edited)

As parents, it is often hard for us to let go of our hands and let our children manage things on their own.


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As parents of an autistic child, we were concerned about the future and safety of our child.

We did not take the risk to let him go to school on his own in the early years even though many of his classmates are doing so on their own.

Ecclesiates 3:6 in the bible shares about ‘a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away’

Another well-known bible verse in 1 Peter 5:7 also tells us to ‘cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you’.

It is easier to say than to be done!

Let go for growth

By letting go, we can see our children have greater opportunities to grow.

When we are always helping them, they would still depend on us.

Just imagine that we always tie shoelaces for our children until a very old age but they can never learn without doing it on their own.

Many parents may look at how they are trying to do it and get frustrated because it is not as good as how we do it.


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The truth is they need to practise many times before they can get it right but some may only take a short time to master it. We should never compare our children with others.

Letting go is definitely a great struggle for parents who have been providing help in every area of their children’s lives.

Look away

Letting go is hard so it can be hard for your child who is used to getting help.

When we first let go, our child may cry and look pitifully.


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When we just look away and ignore it, our child would have to attempt the task without our help.

Just like letting my son to go to school and return home on his own.

We do have concerns but it is good to let go as we can never be able to stay with our children forever.


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We can always hide at a distance if we are training our children so that we can still monitor their safety without letting them know.

When we are monitoring from a distance, we must force ourselves not to rush out of our hiding place when minor incidents occur.

Obstacles are part of the important processes of growth.

Celebrate little successes

We should celebrate every small step of independence that our children are able to acquire.

Our encouragement can mean a lot to them and they would continue to attempt other challenges on their own as we let go more.


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They would be able to experience ownership of their own accomplishments without our help.

Our help can just be hindrance to their growth.

In conclusion

Letting go is hard but we should learn to do so for the sake of our children.

As our children grow older, they would need to be more responsible with their own lives and take consequences for their own actions.

Letting go is part of the important processes that parents would really need to learn especially for over-protective ones.




Disclaimer: This is my personal reflection and I am not in any position to instruct anyone what they should do. I am not responsible for any action taken as a result of this post. My post can only be a reference for your further research and growth. By reading this post, you acknowledge and accept that. All images and pictures were taken from google images that are free from copyright under labelled for reuse.


Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://fun2learn.vornix.blog/2019/01/09/learn-to-let-go/

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Wonderful post. I have aspergers syndrome(a mild form of autism)
And I had a pretty hard upgrowing experience as a kid... (Even though most of the time I was let go to think for myself) due to always being told, "We know you better than you know yourself, Anders(my name)"

They rarely listened to me when I spoke my mind, saying "what you are doing right now really doesn't affect my overall well being very positively"
they always came back to me with something very much like.." I know you better than you know yourself"

Today, I live in a group-home along with other individuals ALSO having a mild form of autism, and one of the pedagogue's names is "Kenneth" and this fine gentleman LISTENS to me and what I am saying, when I reply back to him with something like,
"This really affects me negatively.. Please stop"

Unfortunately both of my parents are today dead due to 2 different types of cancer, I REALLY would have loved, Kenneth to meet them, and instruct them in a way, saying "What you have done in the past, have really affected , Anders negatively but as you can view him now, he is HAPPY"
That was just my 2 cents! :-)

I hope you enjoyed my story... Correct parenting can be a very overall crucial factor, in determining just HOW your kids grow up to be, in today's world. people. :-) Remember that.
-Anders.

There are many people who do not really understand special needs well and make wrong judgement and comments. It is still so for many adults but the good thing is there are many teachers who are trained in special needs nowadays. They can spread the understanding of special needs to other teachers and parents. Thanks for sharing your personal experience to us.

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