Dad's Fault when Punishing Kids ....
As fathers, sometimes we have to teach good things to our children, including giving praise for his good deeds or punishment for his mischief. But it turns out there are many mistakes made by parents when punishing children. The mistake, in addition to hurt the child's heart, can also be a barrier to the growth of good behavior in the future child. Here are ten mistakes of fathers when teaching discipline to children and what to do: Get on your feet. Although the behavior of children often irritates us, we should not punish them with anger. Shouting, yelling, even to cursing will make the child feel that such behavior can be done between siblings or friends. If you are emotional because of the child's behavior, try to calm down first, just talk to the child. They will be better able to understand the approach that is done in a calm and reasonable way than to hear what is shouted.
A father is better off looking for another form of educational punishment. Remember our main role is not a coercive educator. Inconsistent. Many fathers are inconsistent in punishing children. The same mischief, for example, is responded differently over time. Therefore it is necessary to make clear rules and understanding of what the consequences will be received when a child does a particular deed. For example, when a child speaks dirty, we just laugh. But at other times, when the same word comes out of his mouth we punish him. This will make the child confused and do not know what is and should not be. It means being consistent is important so that the child understands the correct behavior. Bribe. Rewarding the child so that he or she behaves according to our expectations will only teach the child that in order to get the reward they have to do the delinquency first.
Children should behave well just get a gift, not vice versa. In addition, instead of rewarding, it is much better if the child is given an understanding of the benefits and consequences of his actions, so that he has an awareness of what he does. Unrelated punishment. Children will understand better if the punishment given to them is in accordance with his actions. For example, a child littering the floor should be punished by cleaning it, or a child who is bad for lazy learning, punishable for not playing a cell phone or watching TV, but using that time to learn more. That way, the child will learn the consequences caused by an act, and all that is related. Disagree with his mother. It is important for a father and mother to have the same word in educating children. When a child runs into our spouse to complain or otherwise, it will undermine the trust in the parent, and impressed we do not get along alias different opinions.
If you do not agree with the wife, do not argue in front of the child. Talk in isolation, do not look children. Only after an agreement can you apply it to educate the child. Make confused. Do not look soft and feel obliged to get the child's consent about the rules or punishments you give. You are her parents and have an obligation to educate properly. If you are not firm, your child will not take your words seriously. Later when your child grows up, you will be able to discuss the reasons why you are imposing a rule. Blame. Making the child feel guilty and fully responsible for what happened is not a good education. For example, you do not need to say, "Daddy has been working hard until late at night, but you are told to not want to learn." If you make your child feel responsible for life or bad things, you are not a father but a complainer. Teach children to take responsibility without burdening them with guilt. One way. This is a difficult part to do because we often think our children can not be invited to dialogue. Though rebuking or scolding one direction does not make children learn, but so dictated.
A better approach is to have a dialogue to find out why the child is doing something wrong. Asking why the child is not doing homework will result in the correct action to fix it rather than just telling. Comparing with others. This is also something that many parents do when educating their children. Words such as, "Your friends are diligent and obedient, why are you stubborn," precisely generating rejection and hatred, instead of making the child awakened. We must realize that every child is special and has their own advantages. So comparing with others is not the right way. By realizing the errors above, we are also educating children to behave better and responsible. We can also be true fathers to our children, dads who are role models and beloved by their children.