As you've discussed in other places, this is partly a feature of the education system with, I would argue, an over-concentration on exams and exam results rather than learning. In addition, and maybe separately, I have found it quite difficult as a foster carer to establish a relationship with the school where I had some clue what was going on (a copy of the syllabus would have helped, for example).

I was unable to attend the year 12 parents evening as I was working. I offered to go another time, by appointment, and was told this was "against the rules". I did ask which rules these were, but never received an appointment or an answer. At the year 13 parents evening, I asked every teacher what I could do to support the young person I'm caring for, no one had any ideas about how we might work together.

Economics is okay, I understand some of the concepts and theories; we eat an evening meal together most evenings where we talk about things and current economic issues get discussed. Maths and physics are a different matter, though, I've not studied them. However, that doesn't mean I'm not interested.

Most of my focus has been on helping to build emotional resilience. We've talked about will power, how it works (or doesn't), the value of routine and consistency, looking after yourself, eating properly, taking a walk at lunchtime, getting enough sleep. Another big area has been about managing friendships - about setting boundaries, learning to say no, having healthy and respectful relationships with other people.

We also talk about how to manage the exams themselves, about positive self-talk, and that things not working out as planned is not the end of the world. It will simply mean a different set of next choices and decisions and some valuable lessons you can learn from next time you're in a similar situation.

I guess, as part of my role is about helping the young person prepare for independance, this is the best I can do for her. But I think I could have done more, been more supportive, if I had had some sort of overview and outcomes for us to work with together.

This is not a criticism of individual teachers - everyone I have met has been talented, committed and approachable and genuinely interested. I have also found myself defending a young inexperienced teacher who is struggling. But at the same time, I'm surprised that schools, colleges, don't have a more open, proactive approach to engaging parents and carers (a simple briefing at the beginning of the year would have helped).

I appreciate the pressure on educators' time - last year I turned down a full-time job in adult education because it looked like the job from hell - but perhaps some time spent here would relieve time elsewhere. I also appreciate that students and families most in need of support are least likely to participate but again, there are approaches from community development and health improvement and protection that could help with this.

Thank you for the information and the opportunity for reflection, it has prompted me develop my thoughts more clearly.