Well it is moving day, week, weekend in our house. We are moving from the farm where we where renting a house into the town and to our school's hostel. As a rule my eldest and youngest struggle with change so we knew what to do to prevent it.

Image by shutterstock

A short story

Image Source

Peter has been a very happy, go lucky boy. Always running around, jumping, climbing, singing.
He loves science. Lately all his drawings have included lines that is according to him the air molecules. He is a dinosaur nut, always having one of his dinosaur soft toys with him in bed. But lately something has been off, as if he has been looking for comfort. All his soft toys sleep with him in bed, literally all of them, he barely has any space for himself.

Image Source

Every day Peter plays in his room, while playing with his dinosaurs, so today Mrs Becker (his nanny) decided she is going to figure out what is going on. Luckily she has been trained as a play-therapist, so she is well equipped to handle this.

Image Source

While playing with his Dinosaurs Mrs Becker came and began playing with him. Asking him a lot of questions:
How was your day?
It was good

What have you played today?
Broncho and the rest of the crew have been playing hide and seek.

Then she began asking more in depth question, while he was playing, but using his dinosaurs and soft toys to work her way through to a conclusion.

1. Where does Broncho sleep?
   With me.
2. Where does Papa Smurf sleep?
   With me.
3. Where does T-Rex sleep?
   With me.
4. Who else sleeps with you?
   All of my toys.
5. Why do all of them sleep with you?
   I am protecting them from all the boogy monsters.
6. Do you think they are scared?
   Yes, very scared.
   
   Image Source
7. Why do you think they are scared?
   They are scared that I will go away, so I put them in bed with me to protect them.
8. Are you scared of something?
   I am scared that mommy and daddy will not be in time to put me to bed.
9. Do you miss someone a lot?
   Mommy and daddy of course.
10. What would you like to do when mom and dad is at home?
    I would like to sit with them and listen to stories.

Remember love: Mom and Dad loves you very much, and working hard and long hours is their way of making sure that you have a house over your head and food to eat. They are trying to work things out in such a way that Mom can stay at home with you.

Image Source

Childhood anxiety

What is separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety can been seen as a psychological disorder, which is found in children, especially over the age of six years old, but it can be found in children at a younger age. These children becomes fearful and nervous when they are either away from their parents or their house, They get scared when left alone, and that their care givers won't be there to take care of them. In some cases they experience physical symptoms, but in severe cases the separation anxiety can interfere with their daily activities like going to school, doing extramural activities etc.

Signs and Symptoms of separation anxiety

1. An unrealistic and lasting worry that something bad will happen to their loved, one (parent or caregiver), if the child leaves them.
2. The have an unrealistic worry that something bad will happen to them if their loved one/caregiver leaves them.
3. They refuse to go to school in order for them to stay with the caregiver.
4. They refuse to sleep without the caregiver nearby, they never sleep away from home.
5. They have a fear of being alone.
6. They have nightmares about being separated.
7. They are usually bed wetters.
8. They complain about physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches etc. especially on school days.
9. They have repeated temper tantrums or pleading their caregivers not to leave their side.

Play therapy (What is it?)

http://blog.playdrhutch.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/in-play-therapy-children-learn-....jpg
Image Source

Play therapy is used for children between 3 and 11 years old. It is used to create a same, natural, self-guided and self-healing process for children to express their feelings and experiences. They must feel cared for and know that whatever they say is confidential. This is to ensure physical and emotional safety. When play therapy is used they create a natural inner trend on many levels to allow "repair" to take place. Because of the way play and creativity operates, outside our awareness - the unconscious, no medication is used.

Through play therapy certain skills and strategies are shown and taught to the children for them to cope in the situations where they feel out of control or anxious, but most of all they are given "me-time". The time where everything is focused solely on them, with their parents. Due to the rush in today's life we never seem to spend enough time with our kids.

Image Source

Ways to spend more quality time with your kids.

1. Read books together.
2. Build puzzles and blocks together.
3. Go out for a walk.
4. Play outside, kick some balls and have some fun.
5. Sit and listen to their stories (Even if it doesn’t always make sense)
6. Hugh them

Conclusion

The boy in the story is experiencing a form of separation anxiety, not as severe as it can become, but he feels that his mom and dad is not spending enough time with him. His way of coping with this is to "take care" of his soft toys. This has become his comfort.

Image Source

Created by Giphy

Team South Africa banner designed by @bearone

GIF