I can totally relate on this... I feel each and every words you wrote. Frankly speaking, I dunno. My eldest girl is the blue type but I know she can do a lot of things on her own. Just that I think I am overthinking it too much, worrying she can't do this, she can't do that. My second girl seems to be more matured... but then again it's me the mother that overthink too much. And maybe it's me that is not so willing to release the grip... uhm... I need to learn to do this...
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Yes I do that too, thinking they can’t do certain things which makes us want to hold the grip even more.
I think we just need to go with our instincts and do the best we can to keep them safe. We can slowly, one step at a time let them handle things they are ready to handle and just be there for them when they need us.