I find the best way to prevent your children from becoming "out of hand" is to not let go of them until they are truly ready. It's not an oppressive grip that a parent has over their children, but an aid to help the child mature into what God desires him to be.
A parent is like a stake for a tomato plant. If the plant is allowed or encouraged to explore away from the stake it'll grow onto the ground. Appearing healthy, when it bears beautiful red ripe tomatoes it'll sit on the ground and have no protection from groundrot. The parent offers the child stability to grow upwards instead of outwards to bear good fruit. While growing, the tomato tendrils will have their GRIP on the tomato stake and the tomato plant will love the tomato stake, even after it's not needed anymore.
Trust your instincts if you are having trouble releasing the grip.
What a beautiful and encouraging analogy! Wow I really loved this. Thank you so much for sharing and providing sound feedback.
I will trust my instincts and continue letting go slowly only when necessary. A lot of times I say no to my kids, not allowing them to do something when the Holy Spirit urges me not to. There are just those times when you know it needs to be a no.
Many blessings to you and your lovely family ~