SCHOOL FOR PARENTS: we must avoid in the education of our children

Discipline is so subjective that it is difficult to define its scope. Such uncertainty leads to the fact that parents, inculcating discipline in the child, make mistakes. Consider the most common.

SourceParenting is a difficult job that parents do, without knowing for sure how to do it. When you have a child, you teach him to live in this world and at the same time you learn a lot about yourself.

Many parents feel exhausted and helpless when they have a child. Fatherhood brings joy and many problems and changes in lifestyle and work schedules.

At this stage, parents should avoid some mistakes to raise the child independently and be able to cope with various situations in life.

- The lie

We often ignore the rule that we should do what we teach our children. Forgetting this, do not expect children to follow our advice. Children learn to cheat at an early age. You just have to lie in the details so that the child follows your example. Children grasp the subtlest nuances of lies.

Stories about non-existent monsters, lies about why a child did not attend school and why he did not visit his friends, hiding any fact from his spouse are typical situations in which a child perceives lies. Adults call it excuses, but children see it as a lie. Adults can distinguish truth from lies, but for a child it is difficult. The constant use of justifiable lies also teaches the child to lie.

Necessary The careful use of lies in daily life. Your task is to show your child a good role model. If you do not, all your educational work will be ineffective. Instead of lying down in the presence of a child, try to correct the situation. Explain your behavior to the child so that he can understand and sympathize with him. This will give you and your child the opportunity to speak honestly and build strong relationships. Open communication is a good way to explain your point of view.

- Empty threats

"Stop spilling soup on the table or I'll hit you!" Threats and blackmail are common in many families. Having the child do housework (cleaning the room, putting toys, clothes and books, learning lessons, eating, etc.) is a daunting task for parents. Therefore, they often threaten the child with consequences for not fulfilling these responsibilities. They say they will not allow a child to watch television, play computer games, use a cell phone, go for a walk, etc.

Unfortunately, parents rarely take their threats to action and children stop taking them seriously. Children do not understand the importance of parental instructions and threats in their understanding become empty words.

In such situations, it is important that your words match the actions. Parents do not like to play the role of "bad cop", but sometimes it is necessary to inculcate discipline in the child. If the child only hears threats or warnings, he realizes that he has a second, a third chance, etc. For example, if you say "Either go to dinner or I turn off the TV," you probably will not listen until you turn it off. Instead, you can remind your child of the consequences that occurred last time, for example: "Remember what happened yesterday when you did not eat?" Such reminders help to discipline the child and also make their warnings heavy for the child. When the child clearly understands the rules that are being expressed, he will not have to remember or threaten them.

- Breaking your own rules

Simple rules are usually the most difficult. For example, many parents teach children to brush their teeth twice a day. But how many of them adhere to this rule? Children prefer to follow a negative example of their parents than a positive one. This also applies to the simple rules we teach our children: turn off the lights, leave the room, wash our hands before eating, say "thank you" and "please", share our things, etc.

These rules are the basis of discipline, but if you do not follow them yourself, the child will also doubt them.

The first rule to establish the rules is to fulfill them. Parents are an example of role models for the child. Therefore, the child will learn from you, including discipline. Follow the rules that you set for your child. Show him a good example and explain the importance of such actions. Together, wash your hands before eating, brush your teeth at night, remind your child to turn off the light or say "thank you" or "please." Your company will help your child learn the rules of discipline.

- The wrath

Anger is your worst enemy, because it prevents you from thinking sensibly. Anger directed at children is the worst mistake parents can make in the educational process. In a fit of anger, you can tell the child what you will later regret. In addition, you can take out your anger on the child when you are not guilty of the situation.

The anger you manifest in raising a child can have long-term consequences. This leads to a child's distrust of you.

It is necessary for parents to support their children. This helps you overcome obstacles throughout your life. Therefore, to avoid situations in which you may regret later, first calm down, put your thoughts in order and then calmly explain your point of view. For example, if a child does not write well a test, it is not necessary to paste it in the presence of a teacher or classmates. You can talk to him when he returns home. It is important that you help your child find a solution to a problem and then help him or her achieve the desired result.

- Parenting without respect

It is easier to demand respect for yourself than to show it towards others. Parents expect and demand respect from children for themselves and their elders. In this case, they themselves allow a disrespectful treatment to the child. Humiliating a child in the presence of others, using harsh words, only shows disrespectful behavior. If you discover that your child is being rude or disrespectful, you should intervene and understand the reasons for this behavior.

Instead of shouting at the child immediately in the presence of others, pause. Take him away from the crowd and then talk face to face about what happened. Treat your child as an adult and try to understand the situation as an adult. It is important to understand what your child means. Denying the child's point of view will only exacerbate the problem and lead to misbehavior.

- Punishment and education

The punishment of a child does not always lead to discipline.

Punishment is not a method of education, but a response to the child's behavior. Punishment means that the child does not respect the limits or does not meet their expectations.

If you use punishment to help children regulate their behavior, it is better to find another way to do it. Punishments do not teach a child. Instead, discuss with him the possible solutions to the problem. If the child shows bad behavior, offer a good alternative to understand the difference.

- Rules

There are cases in which parents do not establish rules for children. Both adults and children behave as they please. In such situations, two options are possible: the child grows up without any moral principle, or sets the rules for himself based on the consequences. The second option is rare, so for children it is extremely important to see certain limits.

Education is necessary to raise a responsible child, happy and capable of self-control. Many parents do not establish rules for the child, and this causes difficulties in education. Demand from the child the same discipline that would require an adult. This will help you get your child to adhere to the rules.

On the road to raising children, parents face many difficulties and many rewards. Both children and parents are constantly learning something new.

Teaching a child good behavior is more a team effort than an individual one. This will help you have patience, love, trust and a positive attitude.

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://deisip67.vornix.blog/2019/02/08/school-for-parents-we-must-avoid-in-the-education-of-our-children/

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