OLYMPUS 2018 - Episode 1 (A Godly Council) - A Comedy Sketch Written for Steemstar After Dark
Have you ever wondered what the Greek gods of olde are up to these days?
I myself am always curious about it, and that curiosity has now inspired me to write a series called Olympus 2018, to be performed weekly on SteemStar After Dark!
What is Steemstar After Dark, you may wonder. It's the new Friday night show on the Steemstar Network! At Midnight UTC, Steemstar comes alive with comedy, songs, sketches and general adult-themed merriment.
Hosted by @CarrieAllen, @SirCork, @ChrisRoberts and more, this Friday night sketch comedy spectacular promises to be a hit in the coming weeks and months, but we need your help!
We're looking for funny writers, funny musicians, funny performers, and just generally funny people. Come join the funniness! Here are the sketches from last week!
And here are the links to the show. Don't miss it!
YOUTUBE
STEEMSTAR 24/7 LIVE STREAM
TWITCH
So anyway, this first episode of Olympus 2018 is more of a monologue than a sketch. There are so many gods and goddesses in the Greek pantheon that I needed a whole episode just to set the stage. Don't hate me for my... politically insensitive humor. Most things that I think are funny are also... politically sensitive. lol.
OLYMPUS 2018 - Episode 1 - A Godly Council
CHARACTERS
HERMES - messenger of the gods
HERMES
Follow me, as I fly through wind and storm, swifter than any eagle! For I am Hermes,
Messenger of the gods. After hundreds of years of sabbatical, Zeus, our great king,
Has summoned the Pantheon once again to his side at Mount Olympus.
I have been flying the world over, seeking out all our fellows and relaying
summons to the Great Olympian Council of 2018.
The location of Poseidon’s vacation home in Atlantis was not easy to find at all, and getting
Down there was no picnic either, but some nice Cuban scuba divers were able to assist me.
Ares, the god of war, was holed up in Tijuana with far too many prostitutes.
He was heavily entangled in some cartel drama. I’d rather not get into the details.
The Olympian Council of 2018 promises to be a momentous and historic
Event for the Pantheon. I have it inside from Zeus himself that we’ll be discussing
Plans to re-enslave humanity, so that should be fun…
He also said that he’s going to have Taylor Swift for entertainment.
Apparently she’s one of his daughters; he never stopped having kids.
Speaking of which, Athena told me that Zeus has been especially unpredictable
Lately. And not just with the ladies. I guess he’s been messing with the weather
For years now, saying he just wants to shake things up a bit.
Atmosphere, jet stream, tectonic plates, the works. There’s even superstorms now. His “shaking things up a bit” started this whole thing that they were calling global warming at first, but it wasn’t only getting warmer, so they changed it to climate change, and now everybody just
Argues about it all the time. I’m not gonna say midlife crisis, but...
Anyway, Hades was tough to track down too. If you can believe it, for about
Half a decade he’s been living as a human who goes by John Edward. Yeah, the
Guy that talks to dead people? All along- Hades, god of the underworld. I mean, he’s
Got access to literally all the dead people. And if there are seven billion people alive
Think how many people are dead through all history. This council will be a good break
For him.
Apollo has been using the muses to influence American politics again. Really
Did a number on the 2016 election. It’s made a hell of a mess, but it’s fun for him,
so whaddya gonna do?
Artemis? Well, Artemis goes by Kyle now. Yep, the goddess of the hunt recently
Completed gender re-assignment surgery. She- He- lives in a log cabin in a quiet
Town in Utah with her fully human fiancee, Susan.
And get this! Dionysus is touring the world festival circuit. And though he’s still
The god of wine, he tells me he’s just not that into wine right now. He had a lot to
Say about this new drug that he likes called Molly, and for some reason he kept
Stroking my hair.
Well, rounding up my fellow dieties for the Olympian Council of 2018 sure has been
A chore, but the end is in sight. I’m almost to Aphrodite’s palace. She’s probably gonna
Want to to have sex with me… she always does.
So long! It’s been nice having an imaginary friend to talk to for a few minutes!
I’ll see you at the great Olympian Council of 2018!
THE END
