Psych on Religion

in #story6 years ago

Ejiro is 27 years old and he spends his days in church.
His village people are very very wicked.
They founded the Destiny Collection Association.
Ejiro is their lab rat but don't worry, he is aware of all their plans. He would have gone to university but he heard that "they" will kill him in his 400level so he decided to dump his education. Smart man!!!
He also found out that they planned he won't have a happy marriage so all his 3 children are from different women, none of which he plans on presenting drink for.
This is his 9th church though, these pastors keep telling him to change his ways and that makes them fake after all the bible says judge not! And he is only being proactive!!!
Every week, Ejiro gets 2000 naira from the CEO of the blog "religion or not" based on the gists he gives her about his wicked ex pastors. Is God not providing?
He has done everything his village people said he could not do!!!
Yesterday, his prophet told him his village people were using his destiny to write proposals to the government so they can keep building roads and have steady electricity.
Ejiro flares up and takes the first bus he can find to his village.
At the town square, he takes a suitable position and starts to scream "Give me my destiny!!! Give me my destiny!!! "
He calls the names of his wicked family members too because they are also jealous of his glamorous life.
Somewhere in the evil forest, up on the highest iroko tree, the god of the village flares up,
"this one is just a lazy Nigerian youth!!! I did not take his destiny!!! I did not!!! "

The end

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