Chapter 10- Episode 30-...a last resort...

ejaredallen (60)in #story • 5 years ago

I've got something to say:

We've been doing this NaNoWriMo thing for a month solid and I've been blogging my progress every day. Well... We did it! This is episode 30 and the last word of this episode marks 50,014 words total for the story! Super pumped! Hope you enjoy this final episode.

A last resort...

“It doesn’t have to be like this.” Felix reached out and grasped the young lady’s hand in his own, gently, as lovers do.

“I wish it didn’t…” Hurt played behind the firmness of the young woman’s voice. “I wish to heaven that you were a better man, Felix.” A tear fell from her eye and she gazed into his brown eyes, the unruly locks of his chocolate brown hair fell over his left eye in that adorable way they sometimes did. She wanted to smile. She wanted to run to him. She wanted to run away.

Felix was strong, the picture of a god in the flesh. Practically chiseled from stone to stand and be admired-, at least he was in Jenni’s eyes. Jenni and Felix had been lovers since they’d known each other, but things were difficult between their families, and they’d been forbidden to see each other. Yet, here they were together.

“I don’t want to live without you, Jenni.” Felix’s eyes pleaded with Jenni’s as he stared into the world of blue he’d often found himself lost in. Jenni’s face was so beautiful tonight in the moonlight. The soft glow of moonbeams carefully caressed her smooth cheek. Felix struggled visibly to smile through the conflict of emotions inside of him. He knew what he wanted, he’d know it since he’d first laid eyes upon Jenni. But life had dealt him a very different hand than what even he could play.

Felix knew this was killing Jenni as well, “At one time you told me that you cared for me… And I don’t believe that has changed.” Felix swallowed, but the lump in his throat remained. “You know how I feel about you…” the tenderness in his voice was reassuring, it made Jenni feel safe. He reached out to stroke her face, but she pushed his hand aways and slipped her other hand from his. She couldn’t do this to herself. Not again.

This wasn’t the first time Jenni had fallen for a man who had let her down. Whatever the circumstances were, somehow it was never their fault, but things kept them from committing to a future together. Pain in her voice showed through her beautiful azure eyes. It hurt Felix to see her in conflict and being unable to ease her stress and worry.

“Felix!” She bit her lip to keep from uttering a curse against the whole situation. “I won’t let you put me in this position. It’s unfair!” She was serious, and the words sparked guilt in Felix, but Jenni wouldn’t let it rest there. She wouldn’t be broken again. “This isn’t on me. You know how I feel about you, nothing has changed there. But I’m not the one who won’t face his future head on.” Felix cut in here, he couldn’t let these accusations go unanswered. Pacing his words so as not to blow this conversation into a heated argument, he sighed all of his tension into the atmosphere around them.

“I’ve tried everything I know how, Jen. But there’s no precedent for this! There’s not a set of guidelines or steps to take, and I’ve tried; really, I have.” Jenni nodded and would’ve replied, but Felix’s mouth was opened to speak again. “Everyone else gets off so easy. Do you know how many stories I’ve heard about how my friends ended up with the perfect one? It’s unfair that we can’t have that.”

“You know why we can’t, Felix.” Jenni knew she’d have to explain to get it through Felix’s thick head. He wasn’t one to give up on something he believed in, that was one of the reasons she loved him. “Our nations are enemies. My father won’t allow you to be a part of my life because he doesn’t think you to be a man of honor.” The words almost hurt Jenni to say.

“And… do you agree with him?” Felix was hoping for a short answer that she didn’t agree with her father’s assessment of himself. But Jenni had to stop and think about it. Felix’s heart sank. She doubted him. When Jenni finally did answer Felix, her words came from a place of sorrow, not for the man Felix had been, but for the one he’d failed to become.

“I think you agree with him, Felix. And until you can prove to yourself that there is honor inside, you’re not ready for a serious relationship… not like what you’re wanting. I won’t let you do that to yourself, and there’s no way I’ll let you do that to me.” Jenni shook her head to emphasize the words. Her brown hair floated in the light of a starry sky, mesmerizing Felix. He’d fallen hard for every part of the gorgeous creature and the last thing he ever wanted was to hurt her. He knew what she was saying was right. But more than that, he knew what she was saying was how she felt, and that was the hardest part.

Pause.

“So, this is it then…?” Felix’s voice broke as he said the words, praying Jenni wouldn’t have an answer. But she always had an answer, that was one of the things he loved about her. He desperately loved her. Only now, in the moment of pause, when the universe spun around them alone, the stars held their places in the sky, the moon glowed constant, did he really realize what Jenni meant to him. She was… everything. Resolve, purpose, call it what you will, something ignited deep inside Felix. He would fight for this. No cost was too high, no circumstance too impossible, even if such a thing had never been done, he would be the first to do it. That was how much Jenni meant to him. As he was in mid resolution, Jenni inhaled and awoke Felix from his musings to stare deeply and recklessly into her eyes: a prison he could not escape.

“Felix, I need you to know that I wish with all my heart thing were different than they are… and if they were different…” Her mind started imagining what that life would be like, if things were different; if they were supposed to be together, but shut the thoughts out before they could take hold. “But they’re not. And I can’t do this anymore.”

Jenni tried to blink back tears, but they somehow managed to seep from her eyes nonetheless. Felix instinctively reached to wipe them away, wanting to comfort Jenni. She held up and hand to motion him to stay back.

“You can’t fix everything, Felix.” The words hurt her throat as they scratched and clawed their way out making scratchy sounds. Jenni’s eyes were rimmed in red as she fought to keep it all inside, but slowly lost her grip on her emotions. “You can’t fix this.” Jenni spastically inhaled through quivering lips and sobs. Her chest constricted erratically. She couldn’t fight the tears anymore.

Jenni turned and fled in tears, leaving Felix to watch and wonder what he could’ve done. Felix couldn’t believe this was how it ended. He had hoped for so much more and believed there was a possibility of it happening. How could this be… the end? Felix turned hard on his heels. He couldn’t watch her walk away, the burning pain of a dying heart in his chest couldn’t bear it. Frustration mingled with anger rose in his throat and flowed through his hot blood.

Felix looked for the nearest thing to lash out upon and threw a brutal punch at their tree on the hill, in a glen. The place they’d come to get away and talk; the tree that he and Jenni had carved their names in; the tree where they’d sat and talked for hours into the night. Every painful memory brought another ferocious blow from Felix’s fists. He felt nothing but pain.

A wild lash from his left arm, brought a hook into the letters of their names on the trunk of the tree. Jenni’s face flashed before his eyes and Felix threw himself at the tree, holding nothing back. He fought his anger to the bitter end and slumped to the base of the tree which was no more vanquished than the pain in his heart. Silent tears leaked from the corners of Felix’s eyes as he sat, slumped with broken and bloodied hands; the flesh torn and ripped, in some places exposing the bone of his knuckles and bleeding profusely. But he couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t feel anything.

How could it end like this? Was it really his fault? There was something he could’ve done. Some how he missed something, some critical piece that would’ve changed the awful course of event which had taken place this night. ‘You can’t fix this’, that was what she had told him. Was that not the essence of the end of all things? Or was it?

It wasn’t the end. He wouldn’t let it end this way. There was still another option, though Felix had told himself it wasn’t a solution: that it would never fix anything. He had one recourse, one solution. Looking down at his mangled and gnarled hands, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Slowly, the cuts and gashes in his hands began to close and heal. The skin rolled back to its place and chunks of flesh fused themselves back together. The blood which stained his hands, at that which he’d lost on the ground and the tree trunk were the only evidences that Felix was ever injured.

Now healed, Felix knew what he must do, though it was hard. Maybe the hardest thing he’d ever had to decide lay before him, yet this path was the one he was born to walk, but was he ready? This path would challenge him in everything he thought he knew, for it wasn’t enough to just say the pretty, flowery words. He would have to live out what he said he believed or compromise. What he was about to do would test the foundations of his soul; would make or break his heart; could win a fight or lose a war. But what other choice did he have? He was in love.

The doors were closed and daunting, locked and invisible to the naked eye, but Felix knew the right words to speak over them to cause the doors to open. Here in the basement of the Cloister of the Hills, a dying cleric behind the pulpit upstairs breathed a final prayer for Felix to find God, or find the Devil and his punishment. But even the damning of his own soul was no price to pay if somehow it could save hers. All of this was for her. It always had been. Even before he’d gotten so tied up in the schemes of the elder creatures, he’d been chasing his heart: chasing Jenni.

The doors hidden in the ornate wall of prayer chamber in the basement opened without a sound, but a stench of the underworld filled the chamber. Felix was always hesitant to enter the doors of death, as the cleric called them: for the pagan cloister was not unto God, but the elder creatures. The doors of death led to the world of villainy, where powerful shadows and powers lurked in the highest places of the lowest points of the earth.

Felix was not hesitant this time as he passed through the portals to the void of darkness, where light itself was swallowed up and forgotten. Darkness was its own light down here. In three steps, Felix passed from the realms of men into the reign of the underworld. Elder creatures of the depths awaited him in a large stone cavern. A single stone bridge allowed human passage onto a giant stone plateau in the middle of a yawning chasm on all sides. Felix fixed his eyes ahead on a goblet of green flame standing resolute in the center of the stone platform, and crossed over the bridge with not so much as a pause in his steps.

He’d come too far to turn back now.

The great beasts from the ancient days looked to be statues for their resolute positions, looked down upon the mortal who had entered their presence. There was Ratha, the betrayer, a spirit being that took form of a ghost, his power lay in deception; long since had he ceased his wanderings on the face of the earth. Too many men had taken to his ways and he was no longer needed to destroy mankind, they would do it all on their own. Beside Ratha was Kuruks, a brawler and rage-monger; a fiery devil with many horns, dangerous to touch or come near. Kurkus was never needed on the earth, for as it turned out, mankind was more filled with rage than any underworldly beast.

Among others, Vaig, Zizrac, Gralg, the worst of the creatures were there. Felix noticed that Xuum was absent. That was unlike the monster, he always sought to be in control of the powers and decisions of the underworld and the elder creatures. They all existed for a single and despicable purpose, to corrupt mankind in whichever way they willed. Unlike the white creatures of the East, the vile beasts of the west tormented mortals, but powers greater than their forbade direct death to unwilling and underserving souls.

Not even Xuum could break that curse against the elder creatures. But in his absence, Creddal was to be addressed as the head of the elder beings.

Felix bowed at the goblet and the beasts and beings acknowledged his submission to their superior power.

“Welcome again mortal, Felix Savoor.” Creddal, a skeleton-winged standing demon, mostly dragon but mixed with a human-esk form as well, addressed Felix demeaningly.

Felix left his head lower in respect of the authority, as much as it hurt his pride, he kept reminding himself this was the only way. He loathed to be in the presence of such foul and evil beings, knowing what power they held and what horrors they could do to him, or worse, those he cared about. With resolute spirit and no fear for his own life, Felix spoke in a firm and heartless voice.

“I am prepared to do as you bid. The plan can move ahead as you requested.” Felix lifted his eyes to see wicked smiles split the twisted faces of the elder creatures. All the evil in their eyes glinted green in the light of the chalice in the center of the platform. Creddal stretched his winged back, his bony wings, like sharp swords wavered a bit as Creddal took a step toward the chalice.

“Then let the rites be passed and the plan be enacted.” Creddal spoke in low undertones, as if the treble of his voice was lost in the darkness. Only a low growl of what could hardly be considered words were heard. Felix stepped toward the chalice, fully understanding Creddal’s intention. With ceremonial speed, Felix placed his hand in the sparking green fire of the chalice.

The fire began burning his flesh, but Felix felt nothing. He simply stared through the rising flame at Creddal on the other side as the creature stuck out a taloned hand into the flames. A spiral of smoke swirled through the flames from the tip of one of Creddal’s claws, wrapping itself around Felix’s hand, fusing the flesh back together and seeping and swirling up his arm, shoulder, torso and head, then his entire body. Felix was engulfed in an ever lengthening strand of smoke, the conscious spirit of Creddal which found it’s way into his mouth, nose and ears, getting inside of Felix.

Felix couldn’t breath as the overwhelming power overtook his body, invading the deepest most private parts of himself. Felix felt himself get stronger, not just on the inside, but his body was changing. He was becoming a god, like them.

The moment passed and Felix withdrew his hand from the flame, feeling taller, bolder, as if he could take on the room of elder creatures and win. But something nagged at the back of his mind, preventing him from taking action or thinking thoughts against the elder creatures. He was one of them now. More, he had them inside of him now. This was only the beginning of things to come.

And again, Felix through feelings of regret and shame at what he had just done in selling his soul to the devils themselves, kept repeating the words in his head, “this was the only way. This was the only way”.

Thanks for reading my story!

You guys are absolutely epic! That was episode 30 of a series I started a month ago, and I've been writing every day to reach my goal of 50k words in a month! This year's NaNoWriMo challenge is in the books and I couldn't be more excited to be done, haha:) If you enjoyed any of the episodes, upvote, share, comment, all that jazz:) and if you haven't read any others, the links are below! You're epic!