Untitled - A Short Film Script
This is as close to a first draft as I'll ever share with anyone. I'm breaking my own rules here - But it's been a while since I posted and you guys deserve some new content. This is not a shooting script - It's purpose is to convey story and nothing more - I'll update some of the formatting later today. Just wanted to get it up. Be warned. This is a dark story. The protagonist does not learn a lesson. You as the reader (viewer) are the only one who takes anything away from it.
U N T I T L E D
INT. WARD HOME - EVENING
MAX WARD (18 Baby face. Medium Build. Dark Pants. Blue Polo) enters to the sound of Hushed voices, clinking glasses and the cheerful giggle of a child further into the house. Exhausted Max kicks off his ratty boots onto a floor mat; next to a much smaller pair of worn blue basketball shoes. Max picks a stack of mail off a bench. Bill, Past Due, Urgent, Bill, Creditor Bill, Past Due, Final Notice, Bill.
(Sarcastic)
Max! Get your ass in here already!
Max drops the letters back on the stack and heads for the kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN - EVENING
Max enters. His family sits around the table. Mother STACEY (45-Chemo-Patient). Father DONALD (50-Blue-Collar-Worn-Out). Brother DANNY (13-Scrawny-Shaggy-Mop-Head) and sister BECKY (3-Cherub-Faced). Stacy stands. Max wraps his arms around her.
(Grabbing pot from stove)
Foods Still warm sit down’n I’ll fix you a plate.
Donald pulls out a chair next to him for Max. Max takes a seat. Stacey piles spaghetti and meatballs on a plate in front of Max.
(To Max)
Don’t make plans for Saturday. We’re going to help your uncle move again.
Max picks at a dinner roll Watching Danny make faces at Becky. She laughs, Her face covered in tomato sauce.
Yes sir.
Danny shovels pasta into his mouth. Stacey cleans Becky’s face with a baby wipe. Max hands Donald a wad of cash. Donald hesitates. Max insists. Donald stuffs it in his pocket. Donald pats Max on the shoulder.
Donald enters holding a birthday cake. They sing happy birthday to Danny. He blows out the candles. Max cuts the cake. Donald gives Danny a gift. Danny shreds the paper. A video game. Donald stretches back in his seat and adjusts his belt. Danny stuffs a giant bite of cake in his mouth. Max laughs. Stacey smiles. Donald rolls his eyes.
(To Danny)
So Mr."I’m too old for a party"... What’cha got planned for t’night.
(Still chewing)
Going to a movie with Morgan then heading back to his house to play video games on his big screen.
Donald picks food from his teeth with a toothpick.
(Jeering)
Hmmmm. "Big-screen" Must be nice...
That’s enough.
Donald puts his hands up. Backing off.
(To Donald)
Would you pick me up at midnight?
Donald pulls a Sharpie and paper from his pocket.
(Tapping paper with pen)
Address.
Danny writes on the paper. DING! Max gets a message on his phone.
INT. MAX’S BEDROOM/ KITCHEN - EVENING
Max slips a black sweater over his head followed by a baseball cap and backpack. He watches himself in the mirror. Anxiety in his eyes. Max exits his room walking back through the house to the kitchen.
Where you off too?
Grabbing a bite with some people. Might swing by a party for a bit. Won’t be out too late.
Keep your nose clean. No drinking.
Yes sir.
Max drops his backpack on Danny’s lap.
What is it?
Max stays silent. Motioning for Danny to open the bag.
(Opening bag)
Ya’better not be messing with me.
Danny pulls a shoebox from the bag. Inside a pair of blue basketball shoes. His face lights up. He slips his feet into the shoes.
(Bouncing in shoes)
They’re perfect! Thanks Max!
Danny hugs Max. Max ruffles Danny’s hair.
Happy Birthday buddy.
Max hugs Donald. Kisses Stacey on the cheek. finally he bops young Becky on the tip of her nose. She GIGGLES.
EXT. WARD HOME/ STREET - EVENING
Max jogs from the house. Past a rust bucket pickup truck in the driveway (Ward & Co Paving Company stenciled on its door) and down to the curb. Max is nervous. BASS catches Max’s attention. He studies a lowered sedan with tinted windows as it creeps down the street. The car stops in front of Max and the rear passenger door opens.
INT. CAR/ GHETTO/ CRACKHOUSE - EVENING
MUSIC plays. A blunt is passed around. Behind the wheel is SAMSON (25 muscular. Neck tattoos. Gold teeth). SLIM (20 sunken eyes, lanky build) sits shotgun. Next to Max in the back is KEVIN (20. Rich kid looking for trouble).
Max watches out the window: Rent controlled housing. Liquor stores & Payday loan places. Used car lots. A mini-mart. A rundown park. Basketball court. Drunks. Addicts & Homeless litter the streets. The car SQUEAKS to a stop in front of a crackhouse. Samson sends text and then motions for everyone get out.
EXT. CRACKHOUSE BACKYARD - EVENING
The group walk a stone path. Max & Kevin stand in the center of the yard. A handful of men linger in the shadows (Dark clothes & Bandannas) BREATHING HEAVY. Fists clenched. Samson WHISTLES. The men swarm Max & Kevin. Haymaker! Uppercut! Spartan kick! Knee! Straight-punch! Hammer fist! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Samson WHISTLES. The crowd backs up. Staying close. Samson approaches.
There’s no going back. You’re either in. Or... You’re OUT!
Max & Kevin rise to their feet. Bloodied. Broken.
INT. CAR/ CITY STREETS - NIGHT
Max watches out the window: 5 Star restaurants. Jewelry stores. Yuppies. luxury dealerships. Subdivisions. McMansions with perfectly groomed lawns.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
Slim opens a knapsack. He puts a roll of duct tape around his wrist. He hands out ski masks and pistols. Max grips the handle of the gun tight. Feeling it’s weight. They slip their masks on.
(To Kevin)
You’re coming with us
Kevin nods.
(To max)
Watch the front door! We’ll come’n get you. Got it.
EXT. STREET/ HOUSE - NIGHT
The guys slink across the street towards a large house. Samson, Slim and Kevin jump a fence into the backyard. Max crouches behind a tree.
SILENCE
Max scans his surroundings for signs of life. It’s quiet. DING-DING! Max jumps out of his skin. He rips his phone from his pocket. ID says "DANNY". Max forwards the call. CLICK! The front door opens. Kevin hastily waves Max inside.
INT. HOUSE/ FOYER/ LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Max & Kevin walk through the house. A table lay on it’s side. A mirror’s been shattered. Art and pictures have been torn from the walls. They enter the living room. Max stands wide eyed. GAME OVER flashes on the TV. Popcorn strewn across the floor.
(Whispering)
THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!
Samson looms over a family SOBBING in the middle of the room. Side by side in a row. On their knees. Pillow cases over their heads. Hands taped behind their back. A Father, Mother. & 2 boys. Samson rips Max’s mask off.
Slim! Lets go!
Slim jogs into the room jingling his knapsack.
What’d you get?
The mother leans against the boy next to her.
Bout 5K, hand full’a gold coins’n some jewelry.
The boy at the end of the row has pissed his pants. Samson grabs Max and pulls him closer.
You’re up first.
Samson points his gun at the back of the fathers head. Mimicking the recoil"POW".
(Whispering- Annoyed)
Do it.
Max’s HEART THUMPS. He’s BREATHING HEAVY. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Max raises his gun.
Now! DO IT NOW!
Max’s hand trembles. He’s lost. Samson glares on. He knows Max can’t do it. Samson nods to Kevin. "Waste this pussy!" Kevin smiles wide. Kevin points his gun at the side of Max’s head. Max senses something is off.
BLAM! Max’s brains SPLATTER across the wall and he falls to the floor in a heap.
BEGIN TO TRACK BACKWARDS - Kevin shoots the father BLAM! The father falls forward. THUD! Kevin points his gun at the back of the moms head just as we lose sight of the living room. BLAM! MUZZLE FLASH lights up the hallway THUD! BLAM! FLASH THUD!
END TRACK BACKWARDS - Dress shoes. High heels and Trainers sit on a floor mat. A pair of Blue basketball shoes off to one side. BLAM! Thud!
Move! Move! Lets go!
Samson, Slim and Kevin run to the door, exiting the house.
INT/EXT. PICKUP TRUCK/ STREET/ HOUSE - NIGHT
Donald Ward parks his truck against the curb and HONKS. He pulls out his cellphone calling Danny. Ring-Ring! Ring-Ring! Donald exits the vehicle and approaches the house. He calls Danny again. Ring-Ring! Ring-Ring! As Donald nears the house he notices the front door is open.
(Calling into house)
Hello
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This was a little bit dark for my liking, but it did help me imagine the set pretty well.
Awe that's just sad but well played twists that I didn't see coming! If only he read that text message from Danny...
This post has received a 7.65 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @emwalker.
You can read it in minutes, but to write it hours even. Big respect for your hard work
Thanks for rwading! Make sure you follow so you can read part 2!!
Seems like a couple of these scenes could be filmed in my neighborhood. Nicely written.