streams

streams

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The birds cried out your names, one by one, disguised in their high-pitched shrieks. The rustling leaves seemed to be shushing and silencing the rest of the world. The entire universe was closing in on us, and only some of us were aware of that. Nothing else existed. Only the shells of these two nut-souls, cracked open and scattered across the banks.

We folded paper boats with indecipherable scribbles on them. One by one, they were dropped into the streams, intention-bound. Slowly, they were taken away to the land of the Departed, the land of the No-longer-existing. It was a blissful day, filled with sunbeams and cool breeze. There were a few toads hopping around by the large mossy stones. They croaked uninhibitedly, as though crying out for nature's mercy. We stared at the trees, which were turning slightly yellow in mood yet slightly melancholic in its stature. He held my hand and led us across the river. It didn't look menacing today, rather, it looked indifferent. Such as the indifference of a boy who was used to seeing naked girls taking baths by the river. How could such profound beauty be reduced to such lack of interest? Everyone's looking in the untruthful direction.

At last week's community gathering in the Love Hut, we did an essential group exercise. I was instructed to clap in one direction and my blindfolded comrades had to turn their heads towards that direction. I was the first to go up. I allowed my breathing to slow down. Before embarking on any kind of venture in front of a large group of people, I demand the shushing and the silencing of the rest of the world. I ask the universe to close in so what's left is simply the essence of me, myself and I. When I looked up at the audience surrounding me with such eager and grey eyes, I felt a sense of obligation to help them, to reach out to those lost eyes. They shut them...

Left: Clap.
Turn: Right.
Again.
Left: Clap.
Turn: Right.

I kept clapping to the left, but everybody kept turning to the right. I did it for about 20 times, alas, to no avail. My frustration began to show. Flared nostrils and quickened pace of claps, I questioned Ms. Doubt, the seed of destruction. The moderator started to fidget and asked me to step down and try again later. Confused, I walked back to my spot on the rug. There was a certain uneasiness in the hut, and I caught her staring at me. She had these large blue eyes that could pierce through your soul. Curiosity fuelled us both. Earlier that evening, I heard from Yen that there will be a visitor tonight and that he thought her to be a very strange woman with peculiar habits. But Yen wasn't exactly the brightest fellow in this community. She possessed a very sensual side. The people from Peach Hut knew that. But a judge of character, hardly.

"Your eyes moved away from mine.."

The rest of the group activity proceeded the way it had been planned. Everybody turned to the direction they were supposed to turn to. Feeling outcasted, I took the route of the streams to get back home. It usually has a rather calming effect. The moon was out tonight, looking bright. Soft clouds glided along the skies like cotton candy.

"Cotton candy?"

I jumped. The visitor materialized out of thin air and interrupted my thought-chain. We didn't speak. We simply looked at each other for sparks of eternity underneath the glistening moon. Flashes of memory from the past flew before my eyes. I knew her. From where exactly, I wasn't certain. Eventually, we moved to the grass and lied down next to each other. Her body was warm, hands were soft. I felt the tenderness of her skin on her face, next to those piercing blue eyes. My feet suddenly felt ticklish. A strange sensation coursed through my body. It was almost.. orgasmic but not quite. It shuddered the soul - It was a soul orgasm. I smiled with every single pore of my body exposed to the night air.

We crossed the river. It still looked indifferent. The melancholia of our moment permeated every layer of my being. We'd been here before, once upon a time. This was where you left me on my own, with the toads and yellow moody leaves. I realised our night had come to an end and that everyone from Peach Hut will ask me questions when I return. Tears started to flow. They began to merge with the streams.

"You turned to me. Mimicking my movement.."

Our bodies drew closer and closer. We were caught in a final embrace, the final act of our affair. The universe started to expand. The space around us exploded and everything became white. We became One. We were the snowflakes in Alaska. We were the fireworks in Beijing. We transformed into ancient trees, wild fern, grapes, figs, peaches, cloudberries, chestnuts. We were both the moon bear and the sun bear. We carried the nucleus and paraded through the universe of atoms, the realm of minerals. We became vitamin C and calcium. We were the spectrum of unimaginable colors, spilling into the white world and creating our very own masterpiece. The longing dissipated, the final act no longer a final one. Instead, it felt like we never began and we will never end. The only knowledge that we hold true now is the essence of our being, right here, right now.

We are the sparks that spark. Together. Connected. Infinite.