RE: FINAL CHAPTER of The Allies of Old; Book Two Renewal: "Darkness is Coming"
Final chapter!? I wasn't ready!! :( To say that this took me by surprise is an understatement. You could've gone either way, but I'm doubly surprised you picked up with the "calm before the storm" type of chapter.
Since you're planning to launch the series soon, I'm going to go all in with the critique. I won't pull punches because I know that you'll be highly appreciative of the help, sis.
I'm quite torn about the overall structure of the book, mainly because there didn't really seem to be any opposition. Unlike in Reborn where Terrina came through near the end, there wasn't a climactic battle or confrontation here, which seemed odd to me. While there were a lot of things that went on, I can't help but feel that it focused heavily on the bedroom dealings and relationships of the characters. It's all well and good, and it was written very well, but considering that this is a story that should stand alone by itself, I guess that balance should be taken into account.
Sure, I get that this is just one part of a larger story, but it's still a separate story nonetheless. Just introducing Demetrius without having any real threat might make people think that this acts as sort of like a bridge between the more important books one and three.
Setting Demetrius up as a big bad is fine, I think he was introduced well enough. But, having another immediate threat that they could deal with would prove to be beneficial. This is a novel series after all instead of an ongoing serial. Maybe have Tyros pester the gang but not have a decisive outcome.
I feel there are a lot of characters that have little to do mainly because the focus was devoted mainly to the relationships. That's why Jess' intro arc with the Brothers Three stands as a real high point for Renewal for me. Even though it introduced a lot of pieces, everything felt well balanced.
I mean this with all the objectivity I could muster: there's just too much Michael. Well, there were too much Matt/Jenn as well, but that could easily be trimmed. I feel there were parts that could be condensed in a single chapter. If I recall correctly, I commented it on the chapters itself. Make them tighter so that there's room for other things.
Overall, Renewal is highly enjoyable of course, but yeah, it does feel like a bridge from the first to the third. Great job nonetheless, sis!
You are absolutely right, at this point this is a Bridge book, and I am not publishing it when I publish Reborn. I might do a post soon that will explain this more fully, but I won't be able to finish this book properly until I've 'basically' finished book three, and actually the same will go for each book of the series until the end. Reborn is only the way it is because I waited until I was mostly done with Renewal before doing some serious re-writing. Truthfully I kind of wish I could write the whole story from start to finish before publishing any of it, because for me it really is one long story, and not particularly stand alone books. Turning them into stand alone books is the tricky part. Though it is possible, if I stick to the formula I used for Reborn.
The only reason I even decided to put this book through when I knew it wasn't truly done, is because I didn't want to leave everyone hanging for a long time and therefore cause people to lose interest. The way I will set it up here on steemit is when I feel I have the proper end to this I will do a Special Extension for Renewal or some such thing lol, before I start putting book three through, and there's a good chance this will happen every time until I'm done. Also, aside from Reborn, steemit will not be getting the finished, polished versions of each book, not quite the rough drafts either of course, but somewhere in between.
I actually am starting to form a clear idea of how to do the end for this one as I write book three, and it only requires a few additional chapters, two of which will come in earlier on to set it up, and if it wasn't for everything going on at home I might have been able to get it done before I was forced to wrap this up, but such is life. But when it is truly ready to be published I believe your concerns will be satisfied, ones I agree with so, yeah. lol.
Maybe you could use Lord of the Rings as a blueprint? The Harry Potter books feel episodic, so I don't think it follows the same pattern. If you're not able to introduce that sort of arc to this, you might consider publishing the series as a serial instead. With that, you'll have the freedom to tell the story sequentially without needing to make them stand alone on their own.
If you choose that route, you can divide it into arcs instead (Allies of Old Book One, Book Two, etc), and with a hundred or so pages for each one. You can do a monthly serial to keep people on the hook. I forgot which podcast I've heard it on, but the serials they produce actually make more than normal books since what should be a normal novel is divided into more. Let's say The Allies of Old is made up of five books but can be divided into twenty or so different arcs. You wouldn't need to cram side stories into larger stories, you could just spin them off into their own novellas.
I've actually thought of doing that years ago, but I became employed and had to put writing... on the shelf (ha!) for a while. If I remember correctly, that podcast was hosted by three people, and they cycle with each other to co-write stuff. Author A has his own books, but also have a number of series with B and other series with C, the same goes for the other two. Ah! Collective Inkwell is what they called themselves. Wouldn't it be fun to have that sort of thing as well with Boom, Paul and others? We would be publishing under one banner, but we all have our separate independent imprints as well. Like, you have your individual one, then you have one with Boom and one with Paul, then one with me, etc. The possibilities are endless!