Have you ever wanted a massive gummy snake?

(Source)

I mean like a massive gummy snake

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Glossing over Jake the Gigolo and his even glossier pants. This is a real product on amazon (and yes this is the real product photo). This gummy snake is 26 pounds and is listed as "450 servings". Hey at less than $5.70 a pound this is reasonably prices when compared to certain cuts of beef, but that still does not come close to justifying just why on God's green Earth this item is produced, marketed, and genuinely purchased apparently:

I guess you should get one now if you would like? Or you can add it to your dash buttons, because that's a feature.

Clearly J is sad that Jake the Gigolo does not in fact come with the gummy snake:

As you've come to expect, the over the top review:

And my favorite from this batch. This appears to be a genuine review and that is hilarious to me. The idea that someone would buy this for anything other than the extreme joke it is tickles me greatly.