OVER THE SILVER SKY TO THE WORLD OF NEVER : Part 107 - A Few Minutes Ago She Was So Happy.

It's been brought to my attention that my recent posts have been mostly irrational psychotic rants, filled with angry invective. So today I've decided to try to bring a bit more joy to the world. Promote things that bring happiness. Therefore what I'm going to do is list the 25 people I want to die an agonizing death this year. It'll make me happy, and at the end of the day that's all that really matters. I don't give a shit about anyone but me. Just like every other "influencer" out there I am a self centered, narcissistic piece of shit who believes the entire universe revolves around me.

Instead of comparing myself to the 7 billion people who are worse off than I am, I love to whine about the few million who are better off than me. That's wrong in so many ways, nobody should have an allegedly easier life than I do. Just like all those other "influencers", I only want equality with the people I think are living a wonderful over privileged life compared to mine. I don't want equality with the poorer, uglier people. I'm not an idiot. I'm a lying, hypocrite who pretends to care about the weak and dispossessed. I do this by selling the fantasy that if I'm vastly better off everyone beneath me will be as well. I also frantically virtue signal with my feigned anger regarding the latest cause I don't actually care about. Luckily for me, the dumb fucks believe it in their millions. Obviously I am angry. Angry that I'm not much better off than I currently am. Of course I'm lying here, that's what I always do for satirical purposes. I don't really have a list of 25 people I want to die an agonizing death this year. That list has hundreds of names on it. There you go. I've finally brought some happiness to this divided world and it's all mine. The world's become a better place for me. No need to thank me, just send me money, then I can buy even more happiness.

(The copyright to this image is the property of conservatives.org.au.)

"Will you stop fidgeting. You're making everyone anxious."
"I can't help it." Jake retorted. "I'm nervous. The last time you and I were in a bank, you robbed it. Then there was a police chase resulting in exploding helicopters."
Doxy grabbed him by his shirt pushing Jake back against the wall. She pressed her face into his
"I've got a good idea, why don't you announce that to the entire room." She smiled, acknowledging the other clientele, who were not reassured in the least. "For your information that helicopter did not explode. It crash landed on a tall building. Cuts and bruises at most, maybe some serious spinal injuries. Get a grip."
He pointedly looked down at her fist, which was currently knotted in his jersey and in danger of strangling him.
"That's not easy. Half an hour ago you were dead set on solving the mystery of why Harrowmist was attacked by those ships. Now we're off to who knows where in search of some nerd who lives in a cave. In a cave?"
"Norman the Nerd."
"I thought you said his name was Norbert?"
"Norman, Norbert? Who cares? It's hard to tell one nerd from another."
"How many nerds do you know?"
"That's impossible to say, they all look the same to me. It could be one or dozens. What was the first name I gave you?"
"Norbert."
"Stick to that one for now. Bugger, we've lost our place in the bloody queue."
He jerked his head to direct Doxy's attention away from him and toward the current situation. Everybody else was standing against the walls. Avoiding all eye contact. Fascinated by a floor or ceiling. She released him smoothing out the creases she'd made in his clothing, while smiling at everyone. Then Doxy made her way to the deserted counter.
"Are you armed?" The teller asked in a guarded tone, from behind the reinforced glass.
"Of course I am. I've got enough military ordinance on me to level this entire block."
"Well don't." He admonished. "We've only recently had the place redecorated."
"I noticed. Looks nice." She leaned casually on the counter. "I'd like to make a withdrawal please. My colleague would also like to open an account.
"Your colleague?"
"Yes. The man stood over there. The one I was conversing with. Oh look here he comes. We argue a lot, but we're friends really. I say friends, it's more business partners. He's the junior partner obviously. Very, very junior. It's actually a patronage rather than a partnership." She lowered her voice. "We like to let him think he's contributing. He's a bit simple minded. That's why I had to hold him by the throat. That's what they used to do at the home we found him in. It's the only way he'll learn."
"Have you finished?" The clerk asked.
"That depends. Did you buy any of that?"
"I don't care really. It's not my money. I just work here."
"I haven't seen you before. How long have you been an employee?"
"Two weeks. Ever since the automated security systems malfunctioned and blew the shit out of the place. Killed my predecessor. He was not happy, let me tell you. He's definitely not coming back, even if there is full medical coverage."
"Anybody else hurt?"
"There were about twelve dead and forty injured. After they'd finished in here the security mechs started roaming the streets. That's why they haven't been replaced. It's cheaper to get robbed than it is to pay out the compensation to all those people that are killed and injured. They're getting sued to buggery. Not my problem. Now will you please place your right hand in the analyser."
A flap sprung up. Doxy inserted her hand, palm downwards. The teller studied his screen. Touching a few tiles. Jake sidled up, having decided that there was little chance his captain would go all freestyle after all.
"No problems I hope. Please God no problems. Will I need to deposit anything to open an account?"
"Only a bit of DNA." The beautiful pirate captain responded.
"How do I do that?"
"Drop your pants and I'll show you."
"Get your filthy mind out of my underwear. I'm not that type of guy. You've cheered up."
"So have you."
"Do you think so? You're mistaking resignation for good cheer. For the moment, now the threat of imminent violence has receded, I'm content. Content in the knowledge that there is no way to predict what you will do in any given situation. The only thing I can rely on you to do is lie to me."
"A woman has to have some secrets. I wonder what's taking so long."
"It could have something to do with the refurbishment. Those security mechs are pretty meaty. And I should know, you tricked me into taking three of them on. Without any weapons. They shot me in the ass and the head."
She chuckled.
"I forgot about that. Ahhh, happy days."
"You still haven't told me why discovering what those ships were up to when they attacked the city, has suddenly become unimportant."
"I didn't say it was unimportant. Something else cropped up and it became less important. I'm flexible."
"No, you're random and devious. That's completely different. Stop changing the subject. What is going on inside that head of yours?" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Apart from that."
"We were getting nowhere. I spoke to Daisy and all she got out of that disintegrating corpse was a few scattered flashes of images and emotions. The crew were all mercenaries. Not from any specific place, just people recruited for a single job. They had no idea they weren't coming back. Or who it was that hired them. Maybe Morag and Sade will get something out of exploring the hold. No point picking at threads when all you're doing is making a tight little knot."
"Oh dear." Jake interjected. "The bank tellers gone a bit pale. I think he needs a word with you."
Pale was an understatement. Ashen would have been more accurate. He struggled to swallow something the size of a coconut.
"It's not my fault right. I only work here. I've got a wife and kids. He's at home now waiting for me."
Her brow furrowed, her eyes narrowed.
"What is it?" She growled.
"Your account's been frozen. I don't know why, honest."
Given that Doxy was about to explode, and the amount of whimpering he could hear from the other customers trapped within the potential blast radius, Jake intervened.
"How many kids have you got, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Four. One of each. We thought that would be best." The clerk squeaked.
One of each? That was a bit of a double take response. One he hadn't the inclination to explore.
"Let's stick a pin in that for the moment. How old are they?"
"Four."
Poor guy. Having Doxy glaring at you while her hands twitched for weapons to grab hold of, must have clouded his mind.
"No. Not how many do you have. How old are they? How long have you had them?"
"They're all four. We've had them less than a year, but they look just like their mother." He quailed on the edge of tears.
"Um... Right, I'm going to change track here slightly. Mainly because we're straying into areas of Middle Earth I'm unfamiliar with. You won't know anything about Middle Earth, but if you did you'd be laughing right now."
"Do you really think so?" The teller sobbed.
"I do not. I'm trying to be comforting here. I expect it hasn't escaped your notice that my captain is about to detonate. There's a possibility, a very small one, she might kill you. I want to assure you, it's nothing personal on her part. She knows this isn't your fault. Everybody knows this isn't your fault." Jake looked around at all the other potential victims who nodded manically. "Is there anyone we can talk to who might be able to sort out, what I'm sure is only a misunderstanding?"
"I don't know. I'm new here. This has never happened before." The now quivering bank teller squealed.
"Out of interest, and I don't want you to read anything into this that isn't there. Supposing my captain does start butchering civilians and taking hostages, how long before you and any of the other people she slaughters could be brought back to life?"
Oh dear Lord he was crying.
"At least six to eight days. There's a backlog. What with the mechs and the shelling of the city. Is that good?" He asked hopefully.
"I'm not sure. It was purely curiosity on my part. Honestly I still can't believe she hasn't erupted already. I'm just trying to keep everyone calm and hoping we can ride out the storm. It's a shame really. A few minutes ago she was so happy." Doxy was glowering into space, making funny noises through gritted teeth. A killing rage with nothing except innocent bystanders to turn into corpses. She might be a pirate, a thief, a liar and a murderer, but she had morals. "Tell you what. Why don't we start the process of opening an account for me?" He looked around at the other customers. They were all in various states of distress. Even though death was no more than a temporary pause, thanks to their advanced medical facilities, it was still an extremely traumatic experience. "I ask that no one makes any sudden movements that could exacerbate an already tense situation."
His trembling made the teller extremely clumsy. That was to be expected. Jake waved his hand in front of Doxy's bulging eyes. Very attractive eyes, but they were at this point extremely bulgy. Some of those high pressure noises were becoming intelligible swear words. This was going to be touch and go. The opening of the account might be interrupted. As soon as the flap opened. Jake thrust his hand in without waiting for an invitation.

Though he hadn't particularly expected anything, the result was unexpected. The still terrified teller zoomed backwards away from his side of the counter and security barriers descended from the ceiling enclosing he and Doxy in a sealed box a little under 3 meters square. That was it for her. She'd fought against the rising tide of incandescent rage long enough. That quadruple barreled fourmag was in her hands immediately. The portable howitzer opened up. Five rounds rapid.

"You mother fucking, cock suckers. I want my fucking money!" She screamed at eardrum bursting volume.
"Ow!" Cried Jake pulling a spent round from his armored chest. "Ow." He plucked another from his shoulder. "Ow." The third had hit him in the thigh. "Well at least you didn't shoot me in the ass." The fourmag boomed again. "Thanks." He winced sarcastically. "That ones in the muscle."
"Don't mention it. This is all your fault." She declared accusingly.
The injustice of that remark was so far past the reality it had entered orbit around it.
"Where the fuck do you keep that thing? No. Don't tell me. I don't want to know. My imagination is already coming up with hideously disturbing possibilities. What I do want to know is how the fuck none of those rounds hit you, and where are the other two?"
Doxy removed them one at a time from his back flicking both into Jake's face.
"This isn't the first time I've been locked in one of these things. It isn't the tenth time either."
He fumed. He burned.
"Have you ever managed to shoot your way out?"
"No! I was venting. We are screwed without that money and we can't sell anything with a frozen account."
Their cubicle of imprisonment was illuminated by blue white light. Something electronic chimed musically.
"The Wanderer has returned. Welcome Wanderer." A delightful female computer voice tinkled.
Jake dared not look at Doxy. This might indeed be his fault.
"Aw shit. Here we go." He muttered glumly.