OVER THE SILVER SKY TO THE WORLD OF NEVER : Part 166 - Nerd Shenanigans.

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE : THE BEATLES

Yes yet again it's time for me to take the sledgehammer of logic and smash something beloved to pieces. In this case it's this song by the Beatles. A precious part of our musical heritage that I am now going to shit on. The first line is : Love, love, love. Then they repeat two more times. Just in case you didn't now this song was about love, having ignored the title. They say the same word nine times. The amount of creativity that required is outstanding. Then they state that there is nothing you can do that can't be done. If you can fuck a melon then a melon can be fucked. If you can swing a cat repeatedly against a wall until its dead then it's doable. We also find out that if you can sing something, then that can be sung. There is nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game. What the fuck are they on about? Were they on drugs? Of course they were. A fuck ton of them by all accounts. Enough to sedate several football teams. So are they saying love is a game? I think they are. Not content with that they carry on relentlessly pointing out that there are a lot things that if you can do them they can be done. Hold on a fucking minute. You stated in the forth line that there was nothing you could do that couldn't be done. All they are doing is going over a list of doable things that were essentially explained by the first line that didn't consist of only the word love. Those Liverpudlian frauds could have said it all with one love and the fourth line. Then explained they are so emotionally stunted that they believe love is a game. With points and stuff. A game you can either win or lose. Who keeps score? Is there promotion and relegation? None of that is explained.

They claim that to do shit, all you need is love. I don't know about you, but I've found hate to be pretty effective. Especially for acts of violence where love is of no help whatsoever. I'm not going any further. The first four lines said it all. Lennon and McCartney should have hung their heads in shame after they wrote this bilge. They made millions out of the insane ramblings produced by excessive quantities of recreational pharmaceuticals. If anyone else did that they'd be locked up. Rightly so in my opinion. There you go. A musical classic reduced to dog excrement by the application of logic, facts and the truth. If you've been putting that in your ears, you should be ashamed of yourself.

(The copyright to this image is the property of Parlophone Records.)

You only ever realized just how insane time was when you exited a cavern a week older than you were the day before. It was an after effect Jake had never considered. Possibly because it had never been possible. That was up for debate. He was currently full of the joys of spring. They'd spent the last few days enjoying themselves at the dockside taverns and eateries. He'd had some tail. It was delicious. He hoped he would never discover what animal it came from. For all he knew it might be slug like or some exotic insect. Hopefully it was a mammal. He was pretty sure it wasn't a fish. It hadn't been on the seafood menu.

Zhen and the other captains were only too happy to change course on a whim. They held Daisy in the highest of respect. There was also the chance of discovery. Discovering what had happened to everyone who'd failed to come back would be a good start. Jake didn't think it was because wherever they'd been turned out to be a lot better than where they came from. That option seemed unlikely. Surely at least one of those thousands of explorers would have become homesick. The thing was, Jake wasn't worried. He had a few misgivings. Nothing major. The captains and their respective techies were now working on the best way to ensure the Dragon would be able to enter a portal without loosing too much power.

This morning, his short break from doing very little was now over. Therefore he set off to check on his scientists. Poppy had been given the all clear. having returned to full strength he could now resume her training. Heading towards the hold he bade good morning to those he passed. In what he thought of as a cheery, friendly fashion. He got a few looks from those he'd never spoken to before. Engaging them in conversation was out of the question. There were things to do on his things to do list.

Jake entered the hold. As usual Poppy was at her bench. She looked even more cheerful than he was. There was more color in her cheeks, a smile on her face and she was humming. He stood there quietly observing her while she hadn't noticed him. She sighed. Not the one she used when he was involved. This was a nice one. A happy sigh. There was no banging of tools. Things were placed down on the bench without undue force. Something had happened here. Things had changed. The atmosphere was different. Poppy looked up and gave a small start. The flush in her cheeks deepened. Averting her gaze she studied whatever it was, she was holding. It looked technical.

"Good morning Jake. I didn't notice you there. Lovely day isn't it."
Jake had been up on deck. There was a torrential rain falling right now. It didn't rain here often, but when it did it was heavy to the point of brutality. The rain hurt.
"Hang on a minute." He held up his hand, looked towards the Norbert hut. "Why are you so pleased to see me? Only you're not are you. You're just full of joy at the moment. What's going on?"
Now she was bright red.
"Nothing I can assure you. Things are as they always are. I am happy to see anyone, even you."
The cogs in his brain ground out the answer. He knew he was right.
"You two have had nerd sex haven't you?" He declared loudly.
Poppy was glowing at this point. Unable to look him in the eye.
"That's a private matter. It's hardly your..."
"Yes!" Norbert yelled from his hermitage.
Poppy glared at the door to Norbert's kennel. Which rapidly became a doe eyed look of contentment.
"It's about bloody time." Jake announced, brooking no argument. "My little nerds have been bumping bellies. Doing some horizontal dancing. Norbert I didn't know you had it in you until I knew Poppy had, had it in her. Well done mate. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you both. Nerd sex is a strange and wonderful thing I imagine."
Poppy grinned self consciously, glancing towards where her paramour resided.
"Actually it was really good. Way better than I ever expected. I mean, not just good. I thought my teeth would melt." ignoring the look of horror developing on Jake's face she continued. "I'm sure he must have been studying. Reading up on it. We did stuff I've never even heard of. There was this one thing where he...."
Jake stuck his fingers in his ears.
"No, no, no no, no. I swear if you tell me I'll open an artery right here and now. I do not need to know the ins and outs. Or any of the movements for that matter. I don't want to picture the two of you together doing it. I want to be happy for you both. Happy knowing nothing of what passed between you. We will never speak of this again. It will be our secret."
She was looking at him with a mildly puzzled expression.
"What do you even mean. I'm sure you just say anything that comes into your head sometimes Jake. You don't even think do you."
"I try not to. It gets in the way and causes far too many problems. Keeping it simple and random is always the best. Now it's pissing down out there so we'll be doing your training in here. We can set up some targets for your shooting and the fencing and unarmed stuff will be no problem."
Poppy nodded along.
"I was thinking..."
"No." Jake parried. "We will speak no more on the subject of nerd doings. That is my final word on the subject."
She started giggling.
"Oh shut up. Stop interrupting me. I was thinking that maybe I should be directing my efforts towards the problem with powering the Crystal Dragon."
"Oh I see. You weren't going to describe your sexual shenanigans in lurid detail then. It's fine. I checked with Scarlet. She wants you competent in all forms of combat ASAP. We've got every science bod in the entire fleet working on that conundrum. They've even recruited a few of the surviving artificers. Now if you'll don your body armor and follow me please. I'm wearing my groin protection so don't hold back."

She didn't. Her near death experience at the hands of the assassin had made her stronger and more determined than before. Her accuracy with the pistol and rifle was adequate by the end of their session. She could hold her own in the fencing although she was still making a few mistakes. Her commitment to the unarmed combat couldn't be faulted. Jake nursed his bleeding nose with his head back. Poppy corrected him. He should be holding it forward it seemed. That had been a very good elbow to the face she'd delivered when he attacked her from behind.

"I'm sorry." She offered.
Jake chuckled.
"Don't be. Hermes will take care of this. I think you almost broke my nose."
"Oh dear."
"Stop it. You're getting better far faster than I did. It's all good." He removed his kerchief from his nose. "See there you go. All mended."
"I was wondering if you'd go a bit more full on."
He raised his eyebrows.
"I am going full on. This is it. If you want better you'll probably need to spar with Scarlet or Pengelly. Actually a few sessions with Fetu and his ax would be an idea when you've become a bit more competent."
"No I meant that thing you do where you go all fast and crazy. I've seen some of the things you did and heard about others. You're very brave aren't you."
He slapped his thigh, grinning.
"No I'm not. Haven't you heard me complaining constantly in more or less every situation we've been in. I'm the one telling everyone what can go wrong. I am highly risk averse Poppy. I'm not brave in the least. Besides it's Hermes that does all of that."
"You're lying, but I understand what you mean. So will you?"
"I'll think about it. I'm not sure I can turn it on in a non-dangerous situation. What brought this on anyway?"
Poppy looked unwilling to explain at first. It was more a case of actually working out why she was now so keen.
"Well obviously being stabbed in the back didn't do wonders for my self confidence, but it's more than that. Did you see Shazia? Of course you did. She kicked ass. I want to be worthy of her."
"You are her though."
"I know, that means I should be as good, doesn't it."
"She did have those small drones though. They were something weren't they. I know what you mean. I make fun of me being a tiny part of Kluke, but deep down I feel like a big fraud. That alien guy was more human than me."
She put her arm round him for a side hug.
"Tell you what. I'll teach you to be more human if you teach me to be as fast and fighty as Shazia."
"Do I have to be nice to Norbert all the time?" Jake whined.
"Oh goodness no. That would be too much to ask. Just don't intimidate him. Not unless you really have to."
"I'll have to check with Scarlet first."
"Oh so you can't make decisions for yourself then?" She chided jokingly.
"Damn right I can't."
"Why do you think she pretends to dislike you so much?" Poppy asked as they went back into fighting stance
"Oh she's not pretending. Given all the crap I've put her and all our friends through she has every justification."
"That's pretty much how I'd figured it. What do you think she'll say?"
"That's anybody's guess Pops. There is no way of knowing what that woman will do from one moment to the next."
Poppy's eyes opened wider.
"She could sneak up behind you for example." Scarlet suggested.
Jake spun round.
"Hello my angel." He burbled.
"Shove it you creep. I think it would be a good idea to have the souped up version of you as a trainer for our protege. Now I'm calling a halt to proceedings and you're coming with me." His captain ordered.
"Why what's happening?" Jake queried.
"We're going to have sex. If the nerds are all over each other we've got to keep up. It's our duty. Plus Norbert has come up with a partial solution. He's been going over the data from the city. He's pretty sure he can genetically engineer some of those plants they used for power. Priscilla and Pettifer can grow them in no time after that. All we have to do then is work out how to convert that energy into a form we can use with our technology. It'll work everywhere in The Never."
"Are you sure about this? I mean the sex bit. Only I'm all dirty and sweaty?"
Scarlet shook her head, grabbing his hand and pulling him along behind.
"You don't know me at all do you." She advised. "Come on Sparky. You've got work to do. Dirty sweaty work."