A new order
I tried to do myself a tarot reading last night and the cards were configuring strangely-a re-ordering is in progress. People on the pathway will want to know that this phase of the moon is a time for a new order. I met with my spiritual mentor today (I read Tarot-but astrology isn't my thing) and she explained to me this lunar phase's meaning. Explained we’ve to let go of all past negativity (Jung assimilation of self . Refer to ‘Aion’ -the 'monster' (negative person in your experience) is a reflection of the shadowself). She explained to me there’s opportunity for creativity with this ending of the hard cycle (does anybody else feel like they’ve been in a washing machine for the last two years?!)...
I write this on a crowded train having just left a dental appointment. The dentist injected me with lidocaine and I reacted badly to. She tried to force me to lay flat which made it worse. My intuition said ‘get out of there’ - I wanted and needed air and she was refusing to let me leave the room because she wanted to cover her own back and keep an eye on me in case I feinted. She accused me of not really wanting the the treatment (I’d travelled two hours to get to the surgery), the implication being that I was feigning a reaction to the stuff she’d injected me with I guess? What a strange conclusion... and responded to my declining further treatment in favour of going outside for air by ejecting me permanently from the practice. I left, needlessly medicated, numb and untreated but more than that- having been patronised and reprimanded when I’d had a reaction to something. Did I need that? No I didn’t . Hers wasn’t an authentically therapeutic reaction- there was no real concern for my wellbeing-instead there was only consideration if protocol. And would I have wanted to return, even though it was NHS and there are few places? No. Because any treatment there, by that practitioner at least, wouldn’t have been therapeutic and would have probably just led to problems.
Part of this phase is about being authentic (and like attracts like), true to yourself and trusting your own intuition . I didn’t want her taking a drill to my mouth and messing about with me with an attitude of me being a pain in the arse and ‘less than’ her. Wouldn’t have done me good. D’ you get me?
My job in this phase is to get better at self love-not putting others above me or allowing others to put themselves above me, self value, trust in myself. What are the old elements of your past that aren’t doing you good? What’s the repeating negative pattern in your life? What is it somebody said to you that stuck in your mind and distorted your vision of your self? Let go. Cut all ties and send it away with a blessing. This phase is also about kindness - real kindness, without being a doormat. Being your best self. (The idea is, like attracts like, right?)
