Trying your best not to let a single @tear to fall...

She's very irresponsible

She's very useless

She's worthless

She never made something beneficial

I kept on hearing those words over and over again. I kept on holding myself back from crying myself up. I kept myself quiet and just let it slide. But to be honest it hurts asf! I'm not strong enough to just not care. I'm just too weak. I am well aware with all my imperfections, my flaws, my mistakes, and everything and I am trying my best to correct them.

Yesterday I was too tired from all the chores at home, and I did all the works and stuffs, I cooked for dinner and even cooked french fries for my siblings. Then there was an electricity black out and I wasn't able to finish cooking the french fries. I decided to cook all them tomorrow instead.

I was already in my room ready to rest when Dad scolded me for I forgot to put the frying pan off the fireplace. I told him that there was no available space in the dirty kitchen and besides, I already set the fire off. But guess what? I receive another massive scoldings. I kept quiet and then, I felt my @tears falling down my cheeks.

I can't handle the pain anymore and cried. I know it's a bad thing to go against them since they're my parents and I love them. It's just that they don't understand me at all. They only notice all my mistakes and not the good thing that I have achieved. They would never accept that they're wrong and that I was right.

Back then, my suicidal thoughts came running in my mind. If I were useless then would it be better if I just die? They won't be able to stress themselves of me and they will finally have a peaceful life. That's what they want right ? But then I asked for God's help and when I opened my phone it automatically opened my gallery. And there I saw a picture of me and Mom and Dad. We were smiling and I can still remember how happy we were back then.

Another batch of @tears came down running through my cheeks. I just can't believe I'm so stupid. I may have hated them for a while, but I hate myself even more for being such a bad kid. They're right. I should have just accepted it. I decided to sleep and just let all my @tears out when I received a message from a friend. She comforted me via chats and it honestly calmed me down.

P.S.: I'm okay now, I'm just glad I have so many trusted friends that I can count on. <3