Apologies, orders and moving forward

palle (32)in #thoughtsofeverything • 6 years ago (edited)

"So have you figured out what you want from here to Kingston?”. We had arrived at the land and he had said he wanted to know where it was before giving me a price. I had gotten the cab in Spanish town and he had agreed to take me to the land for 1000 Jamaican dollars from there. ”5000" he said. I laughed slightly. Turned my back to him and responded as I grabbed my bag. ”You can’t charge 1000 from Spanish town to here and 5 to Kingston from here. You know, I'm gonna be honest with you. If that's your price I'm just gonna take a route taxi. If you can take me for 2000, I'll call you first when I need to go. It's not gonna be a lot but every once in a while." He reluctantly accepted. I took it too far when I asked for the airport. ”6000" he quickly replied. Fuck that. I laughed because I was genuinely amused by his pricing chart. I got what I needed for now. We will re-negotiate the airport fare next time.

This is a post without an obvious thread.

This bike service costed me 3 euros. Oiling and adjusting of gears mainly.

I’d like to start off this year of 2018 with my sincere apologies. This goes out to the people I’ve hurt and to the expectations I have failed to meet.

I’m sorry:
I’m sorry I left you.
I’m sorry I made you worry.
I’m sorry I can’t be there right now.
I’m sorry for not listening.
I’m sorry for taking it too far.
I’m sorry I couldn’t control my temper.
I’m sorry for the things that must be done but remains undone.
I’m sorry for breaking the rules.
I’m sorry for becoming this desperate for change.
For seeing through the veil.
For not knowing what the future has in store.
I’m sorry for letting you down.
For my bad morning mood and general mood swings.
For putting myself at risk.
For not being enough.
For hurting you.
That my expression doesn’t always match my emotions.
I’m sorry I can no longer laugh at the boring jokes.
For not having taken better care of myself.
I'm sorry for no longer accepting uneducated opinions, despite the social awkwardness.
I'm sorry for that birthday, mothers day and all other important days I’ve missed.
I’m sorry for not pursuing you when I had the chance.

I am however in no way, shape or form sorry for sharing this recipe for wilderness fuckladge sludge.

Wilderness Fuckladge Sludge
Start by getting your ingredients together so you can keep an eye on the fire while whipping up the sludge cream (pre-sludge). Crack two eggs in a bowl. Add sugar (2-3 seconds of pouring at an average pace from mid size container). Whip till fluffy. Add the rest: Flour (about the same amount as sugar), baking soda (teaspoon), vanilla sugar (teaspoon), about half a second of oil, any cocoa or chocolate powder (0,75 dl chocolate powder or 0,5 dl cocoa powder). Use a fork to whip it all together and fry in pan over the fire until the sludge is fudgy enough. Enjoy and remember that a batch is to much for one person (in one sitting).

Sanity & Sobriety
During the past year of my life a large number of people have, either by insinuation or direct remarks, questioned my mental health towards the direction of me being insane. One of the worst experiences was an old friend telling me that my brain is rotting away. But it's mostly towards the pure madness spectra.

Lately I've been asking the universe for my superpower to reveal itself. I'm not excluding the possibility of shooting fireballs from my hands, in the future. But for now it's something else. It's the power of Understanding. Because I understand. I truly do. How they reached their conclusions. That the people saying these things didn't know that I hadn't yet developed shields to protect myself from such remarks. Perhaps that's just what I needed to hear to learn how to protect myself. I have after all put myself through what I needed to put myself through, in order to be the version of me I need to be; to best serve the purpose currently tickling my mind and soul.

Something that concerns me is concerned people. People worrying. Me being cause for concern gives me anxiety. Anxiety causes itchiness and self talk. Last said combination of activities confirms madness. It's a self fulfilling prophecy really. So I have decided to be mad.

Way back in the day the farmers was forced to give food to the kings and noblemen because they had swords and castles. But it was still okay because afterwards they could chill on the farm. Today the farmers have all moved to concrete prisons where they labor up to 40 hours a week (sometimes more). My madness helps me because I choose not to be part of that right now and mad people aren't allowed anyway.

Somehow paired with the strife for Sanity comes the strife for Sobriety. That's so we don't step out of the frame of appropriateness. So we don't say or do the wrong things, or the right things at the wrong time. Because then everything might crack and the system wouldn't be able to feed the kings and noblemen of our day. That wouldn't work because they have forgotten how to feed themselves. We would be responsible for their starvation. Like, I know a bunch of people are already starving in like Africa today because of this system we collectively choose to live in and that a resource based economy would solve that, but it would be crazy to change and crazy is bad. Because it's normal to be sane and normal is the only natural state of things. And the sobriety? Well, we are after all allowed certain substances on certain times. Although that's not the freedom enjoyed by the farmer back in the day it's still something. Ya know?

This locally bought shovel will turn into a hand driven toilet making machine.

In trying to keep the content inconsistency somewhat consistent I also want to mention that I have started my studies to become a sound producer this term and I also received a major shipment from amazon yesterday. I got a 80 watt solar panel paired with a battery slash (/) generator that will store and regulate the power coming in. I also bought a hand driven washing machine which I expect will reduce my future power consumption quite a bit. In addition 3 tents means a major leap towards the point of welcoming volunteers and eventually guests. I’ll put some pictures and links below the text.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how to handle future bookings. The obvious way would be to use hostels.com or bookings.com etc. But I don’t like the fact that they are all owned by the one and same company and that they control such large part of the traveling industry. Seeing as how cryptocurrency/blockchain is coming up there are some interesting options that might provide a more decentralized path. Going in that direction would perhaps put more emphasis on reaching our target audience on our own (as most travelers usually just book online, using one of the mentioned sites or a similar one). At first glance that might seem to demand more marketing to reach out but that need not be the case at all. Considering our future self sustainability we will be in no rush to chase costumers. In addition having our own website, a yearly festival and ayahuasca rituals should probably get word of mouth going. If we in addition target long term costumers such as digital nomads in need of a work space, things could get interesting. I also look forward to keep attending festivals during the summers in my selfless efforts to spread the word. A neatly designed business card with a link to the booking site could prove useful in these circumstances, I suppose. Even better would be packs of rolling paper, lighters or some other branded minor merch. Preferably something we could manufacture ourselves of course.

One option could be to start with the regular bookings.com (etc) approach and then move out of that system as we grow. Other options not to be ignored are: airbnb, couchsurfing, workaway and wwoof as means to find costumers and volunteers. The one I’m getting close to register on is workaway as a lot of different people (who use it) have recommended it to me personally but wwoof is a perhaps more specific venue (organic farming). I would love to get some input on this so let me know if you have any ideas or thoughts.

Ps 1 I changed my name to Palle Triks.

Ps 2 I want to be a Shaman. Seeking guidance.

Ps 3 Someone should develop a self driven, solar powered boat taxi. It would make you a fortune, if you’re into money at all. Especially if you live in a coastal city. I just need me one of those in the future so hook me up with a prototype, would ya? If you could make it with a Storm Submersion Mode and Cross Atlantic Capabilities, that would be awesome. Not to deep in the water, please. Thanks.

Hand driven washing machine (wonder wash) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002C8HR9A/ref=od_aui_detailpages00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

My initial solar panel set up:

80 watt panel, 42000mAh 100W battery/converter and the included connector/voltmeter. I did have to cut off and use the DC cable for the other solar panel (pictured below) to connect the battery. I will be able to plug in any usb, or regular socket device into the battery (both European and us standard plug).

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0748GKHZ8/ref=od_aui_detailpages01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B073J61T3Y/ref=od_aui_detailpages03?ie=UTF8&psc=1

A separate, complete solar system, including small 5 watt solar panel, fm-radio, 3 led lights, battery, inverter and charging of devices through usb and dc connector. Also mp3 compatible so looks like I'll be enjoying solar music pretty soon :)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07412926R/ref=od_aui_detailpages03?ie=UTF8&psc=1