Living in Grand Canaria Part III The Big Surprise

It was a short lived trip home for xmas and I had to fly back on the 28th of December to Las Palmas because Spain have weird retail habits. It is busy up until christmas but the peak trade happens between the 28th December up until the 6th of January. After this it is into Fiesta season and everyone in the canaries has a party for a month. I fit right into this Fiesta season.
I got to know Marco my assistant manager quite well and he asked me if I would like to come for a drink with him and his boyfriend. Marco was a good looking fella and I knew he was gay. Everyone was gay in the Grand Canaria especially in retail. Out of the 20 managers , 8 were male and 7 were gay. The eight guy was a raging hetro and I guessed this is why he got into retail in the first place. Marco asked me where I liked to go for a beer and I told him that the pub Lolita beside my hotel was the only place I frequented as I knew everyone in it. There was Carlos with the shifty leg with his son Pablo whose had just turned 17. There was Juan and Paco , two elderly gentlemen that loved the cabaret. There was Willie the smiley barman that I developed a long lasting friendship with. He got paid peanuts but he was always in great form. Plus they always had the football on TV. Marco started laughing hysterically.
Paul that is a strange bar you picked laughed Marco.

The other thing about Grand Canaria is that every bar was nearly considered a gay bar so it would not be a surprise for Marco to tell me this.
So what Marco. I'm not a homophobe. Drinks taste the same in any bar. I came back solidly. How can a gay guy be making fun of me for going to a gay bar. Didn't sound right.

No Paul it is not just a gay bar which it is. It is a place for the older men to pick up young rent boys. laughed Marco.

Larry my mate from Scotland used to get his arse slapped walking out of the bar alright and come to think of it we used to get the best welcome ever walking into the pub. Everyone used to come up and give us a hug and a kiss. We just thought it was the norm. I phoned Larry.
Meet me in Lolita after work
Larry was a homophobe and I think he thought he could catch the gay off people. I always found that weird about him. So this is why I was eager to get him to the pub after work. He was with me 4 months now, every night in this bar. Ignorance was bliss. I entered the bar first to the same hugs and kisses. I noticed a few extra fumbly feels that I didn't notice before. I sat down at the bar and took a look around. It was as clear as day. Pablo wasn't Carlos's son. Well I bloody hope not anyway because they were a bit close for comfort. Juan and Paco were chatting to two younger guys and there was another older male in the corner chatting to a young Spanish sailor.
Oh Jesus I thought laughing. Larry is going to love this!
So in walked the Scot. Hugs and kisses all round. Even the sailor gave Larry a kiss. I got none off the sailor and was slightly put out. Larry sat down beside me.
Guid efternuin said Larry in his thick Paisley accent.
I understood what he was saying after the second month and he understood what I was saying after the third month. For those first couple of months we just sat and drank in a comfortable silence.

Larry, do you notice anything funny about this place?

Ayyyyyyyyyeeeeeee, dhey changed de wee keg.

Apart from the new keg and the nicer beer, anything else?

Larry looked around.

De Carlos get his wee hip done?

Larry was oblivious like myself.
Larry we are in a bar where old men come to pay for sex
Larry looked around at Carlos and Pablo, Juan and Paco, the young guy in a fake sailors uniform and his eyes grew wider. I took a photo of his reaction.

Fuck it we are here for 4 months now. what we gunna do?
Nothing Larry. Absolutely nothing

We sat outside the bar and enjoyed the January heat. We met Marco and his boyfriend. They lived together for the last 8 years and were the nicest two people you could ever meet. . His boyfriend actually looked like Brad Pitt. Women were passing by checking him out nearly walking into trees or lamposts. I have never seen a male human that drew a crowd before. There were cars slowing down to get a look at him. People were actually interrupting him for a chat. Myself and Larry were falling around the place laughing. This guy had the most power I have ever seen over men and women. The old guys in Lolita were out to kiss him and he gladly obliged. Some were fanning themselves with beer mats after the kiss. We asked Marco where the hell he got this guy from and then how he managed to keep him. Marco pointed at his crotch of course and smiled. I told Larry that if he didn't catch the gay at this stage , there was no hope for him. Larry's response was
The upside to the whole gay thing is you can lie in bed with a beer, watch the footie and have a decent chat about the offside rule
Interesting Scottish logic Lawrence.
Marco agreed with Larry and confirmed that they did indeed sometimes watched football in bed with a beer. Suddenly for Larry this whole gay idea wasn't so bad after all.

Things were about to get different for me in a week. The support staff were leaving and Larry was heading home so now I had to learn Spanish and make Spanish friends. I had no more excuses. I saw it as a good thing and threw myself into the language. I started to learn more and more words every day and within a couple of months I was having conversations with Carlos my taxi driver who would collect me each morning and drive me to work. I pointed at a cruise ship one day just as I started on the island and Carlos swung around and drove to the boat. I admired and then we would go to work. Every week when a new cruise ship came to town he would do the same and we would be ten minutes late going in the door. But it was nice of him and the Canarians were a lovely people. You never hear of a person from Grand Canaria moving to another country. I just think the lifestyle down there is second to none and they would be mad to even think about moving from paradise. All year around they have sun bar a few bad stormy nights that you could count on your little finger. However when flying back home I used to love that gust of air that would hit you when you walked off the plane. It would hit you like a punch in the lungs and jolt the body into letting you know you were alive. In the summer the canaries was too hot. It could get to 50 degrees at times and this was crazy for me. Ireland's hottest day ever was 33 degrees back when I was 5 years old. So I was a fish out of water but I was loving it. I was flying back after my father revealed that I put on weight and lots of it. I never put on weight in my life! What was I eating in the Canaries that was bad?

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