The greatest fear when travelling

Okay.

So there are probably a lot more out there such as death and kidnappings.

But today, I'd like to talk about a common occurrence in the world of travel.

Loss or theft of one's belongings.

Have you ever left the house to realise you've forgotten your earphones. Only to not find it in its usual location.

You think about the last time you used it.

Yes, 2 days ago, and surely you put it in next to your lamp on the corner of the desk like you always do.

But. No.

It's not there.

It's just your earphones, you probably won't use them anyways...

But...where could it be? Did you lose them? Drop them? Someone took them?

Now it's on your mind. Consumed by the thoughts. Cycling through your memories. Tracing each step...1 day...2 days.

The memory is blurry.

Oh! My pants pocket!

No. Not there.

10 mins past. 20.

You're late but now you need to find it.

You send a message to your friends.
"Hey mate sorry I'm stuck in traffic, be a bit late"
Before frantically throwing things around.

Where the bloody hell is it!??!

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I've had many of those moments including guilty of being late for that reason.

So most people can relate to that feeling.

Or...

That sinking feeling of realisation when you feel your jeans pockets and that rectangular square shaped object is... not there.

Holy shi- oh. My jacket pocket.

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Nowadays we have so many belongings that are precious to us. Some we take for granted until we lose them.

That umbrella. The charger. It's the small things sometimes that gets us.

But what happens when you lose the big things.

When you break something important.

=====

I remember all the times I've scraped my car.
I always had a deep sense of regret.

All the what ifs start to play through my head.
What if I had taken this road instead...
What if I had not accelerated then...

The financial cost hurts but above that cost is the sudden burden of fixing the issue. Whether it was taking the car to the repair shop, dealing with the insurance or not having a car to drive.

The negative feelings would last indefinitely and without control. Always on my mind.

=====

So then what happens when you travel... and that fear becomes a reality.

Travel.

The time when you're supposed to be enjoying life the most.

All that is put at a stop.

The panic sets.
Adrenaline kicks in.

Ok. Breathe.

Is this real?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Double check.

Okay. Still missing.

Breathing becomes quicker and shorter.
Body starts to feel strange.

You go through all the procedures.
Who to talk to. Where to go. What to do. What
I need.

There is still disbelief.

A smile on your face.

This is a joke right?

It's somewhere close by.

It's just my human error.
No one to blame but myself.

I shouldn't bother other people.

You tell the staff.

You recount your movements.

You provide your details.

Constantly going through your brain are questions unanswered but you're trying to find the answers to.

Everything that can be done is done.

You sit down in the lobby.

Your brain is still on fire.

It's there anything else? Anything you missed?

You're on vacation.
You're supposed to go outside and explore, enjoy.
But your mind is not there. It's not ready.
You can't enjoy.

You sit there.

Consumed.

Hoping.

Waiting.

Counting the days you need to starve to make up for the loss.

It will pass.

You know it.

But you don't feel it.

The fears have become a reality.

======

I felt it when I was scammed on my first day in Berlin.

I felt it again when my phone was damaged beyond repair in Rummu.

And now I sit here in the lobby. Waiting for updates on the laptop I lost.

The worst part is all my videos and photos that I've thankfully backed up but now some stranger has access to all of it.

My feelings are mixed.

I've always had the worst luck.

I'm not even surprised.

There's a smile on my face.

But it's not a smile of happiness.