I’ve been meaning to take part in this bi-weekly question campaign for so long but because this summer has been one of the most tumultuous (not bad) periods of my life, full of so many twists and turns, I’ve rarely had the time to put into engagement here that I’d like to and so I always forget about it entirely. This week there was a bit more positive pressure to engage because I’m being tagged left and right as this is a question that I put forward myself, one that I ask myself all the time.

This is a question I ask myself in order to help me imagine what exactly the best version of myself might look like and in order to define more exactly what it is that I want out of life. Rather than hoping to be that person someday, I try to be it right now. I once thought that I wanted freedom, but once I had it, I wasn’t ready for that it. Sometimes it’s hard to see exactly what we would do if we were in a different situation.

all you need

I cannot be sure if this is how I will act once I realize that I have all the time and money that I need (in fact I do already for what I need to do right now), but this is what I imagine I would do once money and time are of no concern to me and I unarguably have an excess of both.

I’d spend more time on art and music and on connecting communities

This is a tricky one cause at first I thought I needed time for it, but when I had the time, money stress seemed to distract me. More importantly, my own self-doubt held me back. It’s not easy to wake up motivated when you question your own ability. I no longer say that I need more money or more time for this because I know self doubt was the real killer, but I do acknowledge that it’d make it easier.

I’d let the situation dictate my direction more easily

If somebody needed help, I’d give it to them, so long as I felt they’d make good use of it. If there was some opportunity to learn something, I would take it without a second thought, regardless of how relevant it might seem at the time, so long as it interested me, and most things do. This is something I already do, but often find myself distracted from when money and time constraints slip into my mind. It’s not hard to balance between music and writing and crypto and community and new hobbies when I can do it full time, but I find myself distracted by the idea that I need to earn money, but perhaps this is just one of those things that pops up and invites my attention for a reason, something to learn, a connection to be made.

I would make most, if not all of my work pay-what-you-want

My art is already pay-what-you-want. I post all of my fiction and music at Patreon,available for free with a reminder that any upport helps me put more of myself into my art, and an explaination as to why I believe in pay-what-you-want. I tried to make my language classes pay-what-you-want but found it was hard to justify because I was still counting pennies, as I am not yet fully in an abundance mentality and would rather be writing or playing music than teaching most of the time. Once I am able to continuously produce the artistic output I hope to put out and feel my financial needs are met however, I’d love to do more pay-what-you-want language projects. I’d also love to open a pay-what-you-want shop, or even a few if they could became easily sustainable through support from the right people.

I would give money to people for no reason other than that I like what they are doing and want to support it.

This goes with the spirit of pay-what-you-want. I wish money could flow easier between people because money is merely a vehicle for energy, but trust allows that energy to flow much easier, trust is the oil that keeps energy flowing the way it should, and if we trusted each other, we’d surely support each other more. I would like to do this in bigger ways.

A friend recently heard this idea of mine and decided he liked it enough to send a monetary gift of $500 usd my way. It really made a huge difference for me since I am in transition right now and it reminded me of how very awesome human beings are. This filled me with energy to stay positive and reinforced my desire to become more able to do this for others. It inspired me to the possibility that one day we will be able to just pass around money based on what we believe in rather than based on what we can get in return. I would like to be on the giving end in a big way because I know so many wonderful people who would make good use of such support. They are working for the betterment of humanity and sometimes have a hard time keeping a roof over their head because they don’t think much about whether or not what they do will be profitable.

I want to make what their doing profitable by sending energy their way! If you want to learn more about why I love pay-what-you-want and some of the difficulties in implementing it, feel free to find me on discord.

I’d be much more mobile

For the last three years I’ve moved around based entirely on utility. I haven’t gone anywhere I didn’t really need to be at the time. I would love to go to steemfest for example, and I would love to go out and meet all the steemians I’ve come to know and love...but money is an issue now. Compounding the money issue is the fact that sometimes my back muscles cramp up and I need a good massage. Sometimes it costs a pretty penny for a massage, sometimes I have to try out two or three specialists before I find one that really helps. The condition is still improving but I take it as a sign that there are still things I need to learn and improve.

You May have noticed that none of these are all that grand. I don’t say I’d feed all the poor or end all war, because those are things that are still outside of the realm of my immediate imagination. Of course I can imagine changes that might improve our situation but I want to focus on the changes that are just a few small steps away and take it from there. Life is an unfolding process and so is society. It will never be perfect, so imagining some end state in which we’ve outgrown all our problems is less important than imagining what comes next.

Essentially I’ll do the same things I’m doing now!

As I mentioned right from the start, the point is not that I need more time or money to do what I truly want to do. The money and time have a way of finding me when I am ready for them. The key is to be more focused and more proactive about what I can do at any given moment, and by doing whatever I can with what I have right now. By doing this I invite more and more opportunities, and having the time and money to accomplish more becomes an inevitability. Or I find that I didn’t want what I thought I wanted. Either way, I can only become more and more of who I truly want to be, that best version of myself.