Truth is no Stranger to Fiction

(an article I wrote more than a decade ago)

Many of you may be wondering why it has taken me so long to write. My reasons are many. The responsibility of documenting experience is much more difficult than one might assume. To explain what I am talking about we must first look at the meaning of the word “experience”. This word is defined as “ practical contact with and observation of facts or events” or to “encounter or undergo (an event or occurrence)”. The documenting of such experiences is, as explained in the definition, to give an account of one’s “practical contact” or “encounters” via the “facts” observed by the one who experienced said “occurrences” or “events”. Hence, we must then take a closer look at the word “fact”. A “fact” is defined as “ pieces of information which can be proved to be true” or “a thing that is indisputably the case”. If a person is asked to explain their observations or “experience” of the sun, each individual could easily give seemingly different responses to this inquiry. One may describe it’s warmth and how it melts the snows on the mountain tops to replenish the rivers and streams that flow into the valleys or the way it can soak up the moisture from the earth caused by the morning dew. Another may describe it’s brilliant light and how it allows us to see clearly during the day. Yet another may take a scientific approach and explain how it is made of gasses and give reasons for the occurrence of day and night caused by our planet’s orbit around this sun. A person could give a botanical perspective of the sun and describe the way the vitamins that permeate the sun’s rays are transferred to all plant life thus occupying a pivotal role in the ecosystem of our entire planet. And so on and so forth, each person describing what he or she feels is the most accurate aspect of their perception of the sun. Now, I will ask you, are any of these descriptions more “indisputably the case” than the others? If you answered no, which for the sake of argument I will assume you did, then you agree that life is a multifaceted experience with limitless observations and perspectives.
Our insight into truth is no more accurate than our ability to put this “truth” into words. What we perceive is just that, what we perceive. It is nothing more and nothing less. Our perceptions are but a drop of water in the vast ocean of truth. Even when setting out to accurately describe one’s own experience, knowing that he/she will not be able to describe the reality of the circumstances surrounding the incident, one still confronts obstacles in his/her attempt at putting into words the many sided aspects of the individual human experience. If a new mother were to describe the experience of her labor, she may begin by telling you about her first labor pains of uterine contractions. She then may tell you about the journey to the hospital. Maybe this journey was well planned and calculated or maybe it was manic and adventurous. She may then explain the amount of time spent in labor painstakingly responding to the doctor or midwife’s every order and what great efforts she made during these trying hours. She may speak of the joy of seeing her child for the first time, of watching her newborn take it’s first breath and the feeling she had when it gave it’s first cry. She may tell you about holding her new baby in her arms and the relief of knowing that her baby is healthy. She may describe a whole myriad of emotions and use countless descriptive words in an attempt to simulate for the listener the experience of childbirth. However, try as she might, she will never be able to accurately piece together the innumerable emotions and events in a way that allows the listener to truly understand the unfathomable collection of sensory and emotional faculties that created such an experience. Our experiences are just minute increments of sensory data placed one after another in flashes of hot/cold, good/bad, dark/light, big/small etc which are then filtered through our habitual emotional responses and logical judgments of the given sensory data and then assimilated afterwards as a single moment we label “experience”. Truth is rarely perceived and even more rarely conveyed. If truth in fact could be expressed with cleverly used words, then simply after reading a book about war one could call himself a soldier. If truth could be expressed with words, then the realizations of Plato or Aristotle could be felt by all by simply reading their philosophical treatises. If truth can be perceived by the words of others, then any man who has read the Bible, the Koran, the Bhagavad-Gita, the discourses of the Buddha and so on would have obtained the wisdom and knowledge of the saints who compiled these verbose elucidations. We all know that this is not the case, yet we insist on trying to put our experiences into words in the hopes that by sharing our experiences we can somehow share the responsibility of placing meaning to the series of events that we call our lives and deceive ourselves with the notion that we do not travel the path from birth to death alone.
One major obstacle in conveying our thoughts with others is the inevitable distortion of our words as they travel from our mouths, which are possibly already tainted with insufficiencies, to the ears of the listener and then filtered through the same chain of sensory data and emotional responses as mentioned above. Therefore, the perception of the experience, which is an attempt to create a copy of the original, is then recalled by the one who experienced it, endeavored to be described and then passed on to another carrier who then attempts to piece together the information in a facsimile of the original experience illustrated by the one who had the experience. This is like making a copy of a copy of a copy. The unavoidable outcome is a hazy and often completely erroneous view of the events attempted to be described.
We must also take into consideration our ego and it’s inability to see our own faults and shortcomings that could be important elements of the experience, yet not revealed so easily to the one who is having the experience. We all have imperfections and shortcomings, which are responsible for our idiosyncratic behavior. In other words, these things are what make us who we are. In most cases we are not aware of these idiosyncrasies, which perpetuates these habits since we are unable to perceive them, and therefore are unable to adjust and account for their influence. However, the influence of our habits is undeniable and the ego’s failure to recognize this is exactly what makes the influence so powerful. Habit produces thought, thought produces action, action produces consequences and these actions and consequences are collected together and recognized as an experience. The stealthy manner in which our habits affect our outcome is rarely seen by the perpetrator. We see what we want to see. By all tests of logic it has been proven that emotions and emotional responses are created by the person who experiences them. No outside force can manipulate the molecular make up of your body. The neurological chemical reactions that cause emotions are completely contained in the interior of our body and are in no way controlled by outside factors. There is evidence of this when two people share a similar experience yet have completely different emotional reactions. However, we most often describe things around us as causing our emotions. “ He made me angry.” “The smiling child made me happy.” This is our ego’s attempt at pushing the responsibility of our current state of being on to the outside world and creating the psychological perspective that we have little or no faults of our own and therefore are not responsible for our situation. Although, if our situation is a desirable one, our ego may want to recall the events that lead up to this desirable state and then take full responsibility not only for the factors that were in it’s control but then also take credit for those variables that were beyond the control of any individual, thus adding to the distortion of the true events and creating a truth that suits the person’s ego and strong sense of self. So, we often find that, especially when recounting a story of our own experience, we cannot help but tell the story that is in essence more comfortable for us to tell.
If I were to try to put into words my recent trip to Nepal, I might begin with some witty remarks about the differences between Asians and Americans. I might talk about the trials of traveling on a bus for two days through the countryside of Nepal with five monks and a busload of Nepalese and Indians headed to unknown destinations for unknown reasons. I could tell you about making faces and playing games with the baby in the seat beside me for hours while she sat on the lap of her sleeping parents. I could talk about the grave political situation and how every two hours we were stopped by the military and scrupulously inspected. I could talk about the surprising observations I made about the private life of a monk. I might mention the way everyone assumed I was rich and persistently harassed me to either buy what they were selling at 10 times the cost or just to simply give them money for no reason. I might mention the negative way Westerners are perceived by the insecure and divided masses of Nepal. I could talk about the insults and ridicule I received from some people of Kathmandu and the folks on the return bus trip. I could talk about our taxi breaking down in the middle of the mountains on our way to Namo Buddha, a Buddhist pilgrimage. I could talk about having to then walk for hours through the Himalayan foothills through tiny village after tiny village. I could talk of the beauty I saw on the way. I could mention the peaceful nature of the villagers on the outskirts of the Kathmandu valley. I could tell you about the conversation I had with a local craftsmen in those hills who made birds out of bone and wood. I could talk about having to wait for four more hours after our 6-hour trek for the taxi to get fixed. I could tell you all about the food we ate and the people we met. I could tell you it was fun. I could tell you it was difficult. I could tell it was beautiful. I could tell you a lot of things that I though it was. All the things I could tell you would only be a small semblance of the true experience clouded by time, ego and my biased perspective of what is the truth. Therefore, rather than sell you a story of unintentional lies and give a vague impression of what it was or might have been, I will say the only thing I can say about my trip that is the total truth. It was.