My Twelve Questions

1. What 3 meals would you have before heading to the International Space Station?

Who's paying and who's cooking? Let's presume the answers to both those questions are somebody else.

In that case, I would first have one of those degustation thingies where you have 14 courses of exquisite beautifully looking beautifully edible art-food.

Secondly, I would have a burrito made by my partner. Slow-cooked chicken, thin-slice red cabbage, tomato, vegan cheese and two sauces. Yum. Even though my body prefers zero gluten, I cheat on it and have an affair with a burrito once a week. It's the Friday night special.

Lastly, baklava. I have the most awesome recipe for baklava which includes lemon. Just the combo of that filling of walnuts, pistachios and cinnanon, with that naughty sweet honey syrup drizzled over the top and those buttery layers of filo pastry. So much naughtiness and it tastes so bloody good.

2. What section of the newspaper would you be?

I wish I could say the page 3 girl, because I miss being young with perky tits. Instead, I'll say I'm the retraction on page 7 apologising for the mistake in the thing I wrote the day before.

3. If you were immortal, what age would you choose to stop aging at and why?

I remember reading somewhere that a study was done that showed that the age most older people feel like they still are on the inside is 25. I like that. I'll say 30. You're young enough to not need some shit that stops the visible signs of ageing but you're old enough that you've started learning about life and how things work and hopefully slayed a few internal demons by then.

4. What sport would you compete in, if you were in the Olympics?

The iambic pentathalon where poets make up poems in teams. Each stanza has to be written and then run to the next person who completes their portion of the track and field event, then writes a stanza and then runs it to the next person.

5. If you had to go back in time to live the rest of your life where/when would you go?

I'd say Christmas/summer holidays, 1979, with Andrea, staying at her place for the whole six weeks and making up stories and drawings and imaginings out of our heads every day.

6. If time and money were no barrier what would you create?

Short story collections. And a fungus farm.

And a place called Liminal, which would be like an indoor creative play and think centre for adults. The entry is a winding hall of mirrors. There is an indoor swing that only adults are allowed to use. There are classes and creative conversations with interesting people.

7. Have you ever completed anything on your bucket list?

No, I'm really fucking boring like that.

8. What would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable?

Well, I clam up as soon as I have to come up with "the most" anything. So I make no claim for that here. But I think a wormhole would be pretty damn awesome. Especially if it was down the end of my street.

9. Are you a good witch or bad witch?

I loathe being coerced by anyone else so I would have to be a good, boring witch, maybe with a period in the middle where I go off the rails and do shit with frogs at people until I come to my senses.

10. If you had to teach a class on one thing, what would you teach?

If I ever get this shitty ME/CFS monkey off my back I'd like to run a writing class that includes relaxation and visualisation exercises in it. By candlelight.

11. Which band/artist – dead or alive - would play at your funeral?

The Wiggles.

12. What book, movie read/seen recently you would recommend and why?

I saw the last 20 minutes of the first Lord of the Rings movie the other day. I forgot how heart-tugging the relationship between Frodo and Sam is in that movie. The battle scenes leave me cold though but yes, it charmed me all over again.

Plus, Aragorn.

This is @hobotang's Twelve Questions. If you want to play, the rules are below and the original post is here. I'm meant to tag people but please don't feel obliged to do this if you don't want to. I just remembered now that @riverflows tagged me and I haven't responded yet. Soz about that, RF! But I'll tag you back, along with @kimberleylane and @malloryblythe.

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Rewls

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