Today was a weird day.

I felt like a retired person. I guess it's how they feel like except I have no big pension money. I still have to earn my living but I don't have a job per se.

As a freelancer agent under a broker I feel like I have a lot of time but not enough money at all. How can I enjoy my life without money? How can I do things I want to do when everything requires money? I'm only alive and sorta functioning because of the grace of God and the goodness of people.

Free stuff is a crutch to success.

And then I thought of moving to another province for a month or so. But what will I do there? Will I be a faux couch potato? I can live at a friend's house for more than a month but then what? I'd be running out of life's free passes again if I take the free stay at that house. 🤔🤔🤔 All I do is take and be given free stuff. What little I have I give away but I still feel I'm in the red.

Would I blog or would I travel? Traveling requires money. Blogging requires the internet and it does not earn me enough as it is to support traveling. Do I create a Patreon acct? But I'm not much to post regularly and no I'd rather be accountable for myself only. 😆 Who am I kidding. I'm still the same, never been rich off the internet so far. I've been "trying" for several years but I'm still not rich. Yes I might be doing it wrong. Am not complaining. Everything requires you to pay for all those how-to-get-rich-off the internet shizz. All the "free" stuff is in exchange of your email and details.

The thing is, there are so many ways to be rich that it's so hard to decide which ones to do. I have decided on one but look it's not a bed of roses. Selling real estate isn't easy as pie for me. And so I do other stuff. Meh.

Yeah yeah, they say do what you love. Doing what I love made me do other things. I love art. I also like business or making money. Tough luck. I'm more left brained now that I've stopped artsy stuff. Last time I was really deep in art was 2016 and then I left it again the next year. Sad news. It gives me such a frenzy that I'd rather stay away to be peaceful. I love my peace of mind. ❤

Wait, I'm getting away from the point I wanna make. Why was today a weird day?

1. I went to meet a client who didn't confirm to meet me today.
2. Spent hours posting real estate and other shizz online on my phone while lounging at the sales office, waiting for the unconfirmed client.
3. Got hungry so ate dinner nearby and it was the best. Uhm hm.
4. I'm like directionless but with a goal.
5. It must be because I'm just so bored out of my mind that I just do the same stuff in a different place?
6. Kept psyching myself to think positive when I know there's just no way it's going to turn out the way I expected it to.
7. I didn't have anything to do at home anyway so what's the difference? 😆

Whoever said freelancing is easy when you've got no money coming in but everything coming out. Lord knows I try but heck I'm just rambling.

Did the weirdness of the day make sense? I'm not sure you'd understand.

Transitions aren't always easy. No no no. From one state to the next, I feel I'm doing it wrong but I'm also doing it right. I want to let go and enter the next level but I don't want to at all. 😵

Maybe I should be a beggar like everyone else who gets free money and food from anyone. 😆 Imagine being one of those people I don't give alms to. Poor brain. Pssssh.

Ramble ramble ramble. Should I even ramble my brains out to be judged by everyone. 😂😂😂 What will potential clients think of me. 😂😂😂 This is just funny, even if it's not.

Oh, and did I say I only slept like 2 hrs and such? Yeah. Must be why my brain is all fizzled.

Good night world.

XOXO,
@artgirl

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Written by @artgirl for Steemit.
© Art x Stephanie Rue

@artgirl is a freelance artist, writer and an online seller. For inquiries on Metro Manila properties for sale, art and writing commissions, feel free to contact me.

For business inquiries, you can chat me up on Steem.chat, Telegram or send me a Facebook message. Link in my bio.

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