#ULOG 5 | I Am Grateful For The Bad Days Too
Today is one of those days that I don’t want to do anything. I simply want to remain in my one room apartment, curl up at my table, have a plate of Semo and Egusi Soup with Chicken and watch movies till my eyes pop. Either that, or I take a long walk through my neighbourhood and beyond, my ears being fed music from my phone, my legs free to roam.
But I have none of that. Instead, I am clacking away at my computer, preparing my first blog post for the day. I am doing this because I need the money. To be honest, if I wasn’t so broke, I would take the entire day off. Well, I can’t. I am here and I need to write something.
Zero Inspiration
I woke up this morning and decided to create three posts. One was for a challenge, the other for the Comedy Open Mic Contest and the last as a guest post for another blog. Right now, I have done none of them.
I am just not in the mood to write anything. In fact, writing these words has a tiring effect on me. I just want to take a break from it all.
I Need The Money
I have a eye condition that’s draining my finds on the regular. Spent almost $30 last week on tests. I’m set to spend more this week or the next. My rent is expired and I need $200 or I’m going to be homeless pretty soon. I owe my sister $100 (which really hurts me because she needs that money badly). At this point, I am doing this simply for the money. I subscribed to some upvoting services. Not posting at least once today will cause me to lose as much as $3. That’s so not pleasant.
Yet Grateful
I think this shows that I am human, that I have my low points, that I have my bad days. I grateful that it isn't any worse than this. Trust me, my eyes have been in worse conditions. And, at a time, I was homeless for almost 3 months too.
I know these are just challenges. Challenges that'll end up making me stronger, better and appreciative of the things I have and relationships I share. This breeds gratitude too
I also hope to recover soon. Hopefully, this depression or mood swing or whatever it is would be gone very soon.
I wish I could say more but I’m tired already. I barely struggled to make sure this post crossed the 300 words benchmark. For someone who writes posts as long as 2500 words, this is lamentable.
Blessings
Ouch
Dear, this hurts me 😢 😢
I'm lost for words.
What do you do when you also need a hug from someone who needs one 😔
You simply give yours and have the person give theirs
Someone might have to travel to a village though
lol
I'd rather someone came to the city anyway... 😂
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This was really very vulnerable and a special read for me. Thank you for sharing your heart with.... Steemit :)
Who knew that I would be reading this today except after talking with a friend - your name should come up - and here I am.
I hope that your mood does swing back. Hoping for peace for you!
p.s. what do your name mean? iamthegray
My mood is getting better
However, it will be a while before I can write fiction
My name? It's a statement
I
Am
TheGray
My real name is Gracious Egedegbe. Gray is short for Gracious. Using 'The' gives it some kinda uniqueness. Like I'm THE one.
Also, it expresses my philosophical state of mind. I'm neither bad nor good. I like to challenge all parts of the argument. I argue for the atheistic side yet I quote the Bible a lot. I always prefer not to choose sides. So I'm neither black nor white.. I am Gray. I'm TheGray
Thanks for stopping by
Yip, that is the exact answer I would give if someone asked me what your name meant. :) Sorry to hear about your troubles, the
hardknockStruggling writer life not being tough enough you get thrown curve balls left right and center.I hope you get better soon and given your tenacity and sheer will I know you will get better eventually.
See you around @Iamthegray.
Smiles
Thanks @penderis
Yeah, I'll get back up. In fact, I plan to begin a novel tomorrow. After my appointment at the eye clinic.
Hope you're good
Nice explanation - thank you for that :) and i really like your first name. I've never heard of that name before! I'm also both black and white.... but... quite literally so :)
It took me a while before I could write my fiction with joy also. Now I'm halfway through the story that I'm releasing on Steemit... and.... the downward spiral has begun. I could just stop writing - but I have about 21 people who subscribe to my story. I would feel like it's not fair to just take a break until my mood improves. (this is the first time I've been in this situation hahahahaha) so.... i'm writing through the mood.
At first I saw it as... an obligation. but now - the mood of the story is actually being swayed by my mindset. of course.
Maybe it will make for a stronger story? Maybe not.
I suppose we'll all find out together! hahahahaha
but - in the meantime. I know your pain, because I share it. Hoping that you feel stronger in the days to come @iamthegray
Smiles
I'm glad to see you understand my plight. You know, I'm even yet to begin the story. I have the plot in my end, the expected ending but I can't bring myself to start.
I don't think I'll like to post it on Steemit though. I hope to have it publish by a major firm and I wonder if posting it here would ruin my chances.
Good thing about the following. It's something that keeps every writer going. The fact that someone is waiting to read your thoughts can be a major boost. I know because I was kept a diary on steemit. After a while, I lost Steem. But my readers kept me moving.
I'm getting better, I think. See, I'm replying comments.
Hope to see you around
Blessings
Yes... The thing is...I know so many people who have published in the real world...it just doesn't seem that appealing to me. Everyone takes a piece of the pie and it's very little profit for the author. I have self published also and it's nice to have your book out there but it's so disconnected from the readers. Any extra profit you make through self publishing should probably be spent on a marketing campaign unless you're a fantastic, tireless self-promoter. (So much for the extra profits from self-publishing)
For me, it's about connection with the reader. Steemit is fabulous for that. Their energy is contagious. What happens after the book is complete on Steemit? I'm not sure! Hahaha but the real publishing world is so exclusive...waiting on that (for me) seems like a waste of energy and time. But I think it's just because of my personal experience and friendships with published authors. It all depends on what you're really seeking.
Have you written the middle and end yet? If not... Maybe start writing there! I've done that before lolol just getting it started helps sometimes. Doesn't matter where you start.... Just start 😊
Alright
I'll start
About publishing, well... Lemme write the story first. I'll cross that bridge when I get there