ULOG #2: Where To Go, Scaredy Cat?

kneelyrac (65)in #ulog • 6 years ago (edited)

Series of Realizations In Life After Watching A Korean Variety Show

I was bored at the office since I did a good for one-day data processing. I couldn't open another ArcMap if there is an on-going process. And so, I chose to whip something while listening to an audiobook and shoving some foods down on my throat. Later on, I decided to watch a variety show to keep me awake.

I watched a Korean variety show, the 2 Days and One Night Season 3, in which it showed the day Yoon Siyoon joined the show. I was laughing so loud, internally, and then I bumped to their Ewha Woman's University Episode.

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Now the 2 Days and One Night is a variety show that composed of 6 members who always compete with each other either individually or by a team of which they called the Game of Chance. They must win for them to eat something fancy and to sleep indoors, otherwise, they will have to eat none and sleep outdoors.

So the members will be playing a Game of Chance for their dinner. The task was to give a lecture to the 500 students of Ewha Woman's University. They were given an hour to decide and prepare their chosen topic. After that, they gathered to the lecture hall and the first presenter is Yoon Siyoon or Yoon Dunggu.

The Road Even a GPS Can't Find by Yoon Donggu

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His message made me think for a second. He talked about his thoughts when it comes to decision making wherein you have to choose whether to follow your parent's mandate or follow your own goals and be happy. He even shared his experience that he was afraid of falling after being so lucky as an actor.

His drama got higher ratings and then another one and another one. He got famous, had plenty of money, bought a new car yet he said he was not happy at all. He was afraid, afraid of other people's comments, so he hid. He went to the Army and later on realized that he should've continued fighting. He regretted it. He then wanted to see the beautiful scenery of the uphills and downhills. He then added that it will be hard to go up and scary to go down, but he will still give it a try. He also left a question to the students, "If you will be given a one day to do the thing that will make you happy, what will you do?"

Then I was on the verge of crying. I almost forgot that I'm in the office. It made me realize that I'm just like him. I'm scared to be criticized. I act as if it's okay to be evaluated but honestly, I don't want others to evaluate or criticize me. I'm scared to walk on the long and winding rough road. I'm scared of failures. I want to hide but I couldn't since I'm the eldest. Yes, I'm a scaredy cat from the start, but I'm still trying to fight and overcome this fear of mine.

1. I want to study and take the board examination of Electronics Engineers. If and only if, I fail, I will retake it until I'm allowed to add ENGR. before my first name.

2. I want to try to reapply again in PNTC.

3. I want to apply to another company in another place or maybe in another country

4. I want to be more vocal about my ideas and thoughts, verbally.

5. I want to be more friendly and inactivate my 'Self-preservation Mode'.

I actually do have a lot of things that I want to do. I will try my very best to be the better version of my yesterday self. It will not be easy to climb on a steep and rocky hill but I will give it a shot. I might slip off and fall back to the bottom, still, I will continue to fight. I might do some detours, still, I will fight back.

Truly, the best enemy that I could ever have is myself. And the only one who can beat me is me.

The lectures made me realized so many things. There were 6 presenters and a one guest-speaker, so I decided to chop it and post one lecture per day.

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