Beginning Over Again With Summer? | #ULog

There are days that my senses are fully awaken.

It's like I can feel things beyond the way I could.


There are so many Why's and How's running through my mind. It won't stop until I put everything else aside and focus my attention on whats bugging me at that very moment.

^source

Today, is one of those days that I can feel nauseating extremes:

-The sun was too bright;
-Every song that was being played on my playlist was like old friends talking to my soul;
-The air smells musty and sweet like honey;
-Every voice seems familiar;
-and I'm crying warm tears without apparent reasons, but it definitely lightens my mood.

^source

Why is it bugging me? How does it becomes so bizzare for me?

Almost everyone loves the warmth of
Summer, having wild flowers on their hair, the freedom, golden and preppy colors and Oh!-The smell of life.

But I don't feel the same way.

^source

Summer was not meant for me as it is to everyone, there's something off with Summer that I can't fully understand. So I grew up believing I belonged to winter or to the rain.

And here's where my brooding over continues...

I hate am not a fan of Summer, so you can't just imagine how I long and wish that winter will come sooner. But whenever winter comes I can't still find myself being happy. I am distraught with the thought that Summer was always around the corner—lying low around the tall grass.

And this makes my heart restless. Displeased that I am hard to please. Infuriated that I can't be just like everyone else. I am being hostile for I can't be Summer.

But above all else...

I am afraid.
... afraid that I am running out of time to be grateful for its warmth.
And I am nearing the point where I'll stay alone and cold.

^source

"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer." —F. Scott Fitzgerald

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