Chapter 8 - The Burial

There were a multitude of thoughts going through Lempo’s mind; not only was he feeling a deep sorrow from losing Eflen and taking in the preacher’s words which he had never heard in his life (maybe he had heard them, but this was the first time he listened), but he had also realized how similar Eflen was to him. “How could I have known her for so long and not really know who she was?” he thought, “How did I not find out what was going on in her mind and the depression she was in?”

O – ‘Because I was too busy trying to find out what I wanted to know about her and not on what she wanted me to know about her.’

X – ‘What could I have done differently?’

O – ‘Being honest about my own depression would definitely have helped.’

X – ‘Yes, that’s right. I am offended that she didn’t tell me about her problems and supposed salvation and I was, and still am, doing the same thing as her.’

O – ‘It is true what this priest told me yesterday. There are so many people out there hiding their misery and depression under a guise of living a happy, content life because we don’t think anyone else is feeling the same as us.’

X – ‘But how are we supposed to change this tendency to hide our true selves from the people who are doing the same thing?’

O – ‘The problem is that, since most people communicate through their phones and when using a phone the conversation is starting to get serious, I can easily hang up, turn the webcam off, stop texting or messaging, and at the click of a button or tap of a screen, start a new conversation with someone else. And the next time I communicate with the person I previously ignored, I can start talking about something else entirely and no one will think anything of it. There are so many different people to talk to and an infinite amount of things to do to keep a person’s mind occupied, that previous conversations easily get forgotten.’

X – ‘How then am I supposed to have a serious conversation with anyone, where I can tell them about my depression and who I really am?’

As Lempo was having these inner thoughts, the people started to throw a handful of dirt as they passed by the still open grave containing his beloved Eflen and offering their condolences. Noticing that there were still quite a bit of people left before he was forced to get close and participate in this tradition, Lempo continued in his thoughts.

O – ‘I think the answer is obvious after what I heard yesterday. People are forced to show who they really are if they communicate face to face. One cannot just change the topic of the conversation when talking face to face.’

X – ‘But in this situation, a person can just get up and walk away.’

O – ‘Yes, this is true, but if a person continues to do this, they will have no one to talk to and be lonely. Since most people don’t want to be lonely, eventually they will have to endure serious conversations. When interacting with people in person, it is not the same as on the phone, you can’t just continue a conversation with someone if you ignore them anytime a talk begins to get serious.’

X – ‘But what a person can do is to be deceitful and hide their true self by only telling others what they want to hear during a serious conversation. In this case, people will not care about having deep conversations because they will not be expressing their true feeling or thoughts.’

O – ‘It is true, this can happen and most definitely does happen, but displaying a false persona when talking face to face is not as easy as doing it on a phone or through social media.’

X – ‘How is it harder face to face? If Eflen did it to me and everyone else, with no one seeing past her false persona. I am doing it to everyone I know and no one even knows I’m miserable and depressed.’

O – ‘How much did Eflen and I even spend talking face to face? We did most of our communicating on the phone and this is true for everyone else she talked to, except this priest. And me, when do I ever spend more than 5 minutes personally talking with someone?

X – ‘What does the amount of time spent talking with someone have to do with anything? Because ultimately, the truth is that it’s just as common and easy to portray a false persona in person than it is on the phone or social media.’

O – ‘The amount of time has a lot to do with it. If I were to spend much more than 5 minutes talking with someone in person, eventually my true self would start to show, either through my gestures or reactions and, if a conversation is long enough, maybe even in my words. A person can only keep up an act in front of someone for so long before they begin to betray themselves and show who they really are. I wish I had more time to think about this topic, but the line is getting smaller. I must get going.’

X – ‘Why am I even having these thoughts, when I should be mourning for Eflen.’

O – ‘Maybe the preacher’s words got to me, but instead of realizing how important a relationship with God is to us, I see how important a relationship with other people is to us.’

X – ‘But there are still some things I didn’t understand.’

O – ‘Maybe I should talk with the priest after this is over.’

Lempo rose as the line was about to end and walked toward the grave where Eflen’s body will rest for eternity. He picked up some dirt from the pile that previously filled the hole, and went to the grave. He stood over the grave and said, “I guess this is what the meaning of life ultimately is, that no matter what you believe or how you live, eventually we will all be in the ground.” Lempo dropped the dirt from his hand, and with it a tear fell from his eye. As he walked away, he said, now with more tears filling his eyes, “My last breath will be spent thinking of you.” He then hugged Eflen’s parents and offered his condolences. As the crowd began to leave, he returned to the grave. Eflen’s mom had to be forcefully taken by her husband, for she was paralyzed at the graveside, mourning the loss of her only child. Lempo’s parents approached him and his dad said, “We are going to Sema’s house to be with her during her time of need.”

Lempo looked up at his dad and said, “It’s still early, I’ll find my way there.”

“No need for that, I understand how you must feel. When you’re ready, call me and I’ll come pick you up.”

Lempo nodded and stared at the grave, as his dad left with his wife in his arms.

“How could this God you believed in let this happen to you?” Lempo asked as he continued to look at the grave. “How could this world be so cruel, to let innocent people suffer unto death. I hate this world and the God you trusted so much; who in the end only abandoned you to die. Why would you even believe in such a thing as God? You were smarter than that Eflen. You, like me, knew deep down that there is no meaning to life and the only thing we’ll ever know is misery, pain, and loneliness.”

“Eflen was liberated from those beliefs a long time ago.”

Lempo looked around to see who had spoken when he noticed the priest behind him, smoking a cigarette and looking into the distance. Lempo looked up at him and said, “You don’t know the first thing about Eflen.”

The priest, with a soothing face, stared down and looked into Lempo’s eyes. With a calm voice, he said, “I loved Eflen, and I know what I know about her, but I’m not here to talk about her. I see a deep despair in your eyes Lempo…”

“How do you know my name?” Lempo interrupted, “I didn’t tell you my name yesterday.”

“Eflen told me about you, she even showed me your picture. You know, she saw the same despair in you as I do.”

Staring back at the grave, Lempo said, “Please don’t try to indoctrinate me, like you did to Eflen. Your imaginary stories will not work on me.”

Staring into the rows of tombstones, Father Plesta said, “I have never imposed my beliefs onto anyone. Eflen came to me seeking answers.”

“Well, I’m not seeking any answers from you.”

“That’s true, but I’m here to finish the conversation we had yesterday. I remember it did not end on a very good note, and there were still some things that needed to be cleared up, since I left you in the dark yesterday, which must have made things worse.”

“Yes, I remember how you took away the last thing that gave me some sense of purpose in life. And then, right after you ripped asunder my joyful world of my phone, I find out the person I loved the most had just died. Not only have I concluded that everything is vanity, I have also seen how misery and pain is the only constant in life.”

“My intention was not to leave you in more pain than before we talked. I only wanted to enlighten you by speaking the truth, so it could open your eyes to what you were blind to.”

“You did open my eyes; you helped me to see that there is no escaping the lonely, dark and hopeless world we are forced to live in.” Raising his voice a bit, Lempo said, “My phone was my last refuge from this miserable world and your ‘truths’ took that away from me.”

The priest said calmly, “But it was not joy you were feeling, it just distracted, thus numbing you, you from the pain; but all along, your pain and misery was still there.”

“So what, am I supposed to live the rest of my miserable life in loneliness and pain?”

“Of course not, and that is why I am here to talk with you.”

“Oh great, so you’re here to talk to me about God, Jesus, and all that other fantasy stuff.”

“Is that what you want to talk about?”

“Hell no, but you’re a priest and that’s what your kind talk about.”

“Well, I’m not like other priests and I know I can’t help you by talking about God and Jesus.”

“So what are you here to talk about?” asked Lempo.

Continuing in his motionless posture, the priest replied, “I would like to tell you about the worse crisis that has ever happened to the human race.”

“What does this have to do with me and living a lonely, miserable life?”

“You’ll soon find out that it has everything to do with it. Would you like to go back to the church and talk?”

“No, I’m good right here.”

“Very well, as you wish. I know how you must be feeling.”

Continuing to avoid eye contact, Lempo said, “You know nothing of how I’m feeling.”

“Don’t be so sure,” said the priest, “I was young once too. You kids tend to forget that we adults went through the same painful revelations as you. The only difference is the mindset used in interpreting those revelations.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think I didn’t have the same morbid thoughts about the world as you? All those adults you’ve seen living empty lives, don’t you know they succumbed to these same depressing thoughts that go through your mind, and found no way out. You think I didn’t succumb to them and found myself in the same situation as you and them…”

In mid sentence, Lempo thought “Does he know I want to commit suicide?”

The priest continued, “…the only difference is I managed to find a way out.”

Interested, Lempo finally made eye contact with Father Plesta and, with wide eyes, asked, “How?”

Giving Lempo a gentle smile, the priest said, “I am going to tell you about things I have never spoken to anyone about. Most people would not understand my beliefs and many others will be hostile to them, but I can see you’re a smart boy and I will not be throwing my pearls to swine. Before we get to the really deep stuff, I’ll start by telling you about the worst crisis befallen on the human race.”

“In this world of productivity, parents think it’s sufficient to raise children by providing only their nourishment, clothing, entertainment, and a roof over their head. These same parents do not think it important to provide their children instruction, discipline, attention, or more importantly, a set of beliefs and customs. These children grow up healthy and secure, with plenty of toys to occupy themselves with. But what have these kids learned from their parents? Did they teach them how to live life or what to believe? There has been no knowledge imparted to them by their parents. To them, the world consists of eating, playing, and sleeping. Beyond this, there is no other meaning to their life, and so they live. As they start to master speech, their parents enroll them into school and now their instruction begins. Do these schools teach them how to live life, how to act, or what to believe? No, they teach them only tools needed to survive, such as math, science, language, history, and how to conduct physical activities. Other than this, and other topic that fall under these broad topics, schools, like the parents, don’t teach the crucial necessities of life. Oh, before I forget, please hold your questions until after I finish the story. I’m sure your questions will be answered during this talk and if they’re not, I’ll be glad to answer them afterward. So, at the end of their education, whether it’s high school or higher education, what do these youngsters depart with? Was there any meaning, or purpose, in life? No, they just learned facts and methods in using those facts in a job. If you go to the schools, what do you see? A host of people lost, drifting through life, with no set destination. With no lasting meaning or purpose, these kids only know about meeting their base desires and seeking wealth; and therefore lose themselves in alcohol, drugs, sex, food, studies, and the biggest one of all, their phone. With no one to impart in them a sense of identity, meaning, or purpose, they are forced to create these for themselves.”

“We discussed the tragic results when people create their own identity and you already know how most people can’t find a purpose for their life that will bring them lasting happiness and contentment, but the one thing you know nothing about, which is the most important aspect, is the empty space these people have where meaning is supposed to be. A meaning for life is a complex and intricate thing; it’s not something a person can create for themselves. It is something that must be instilled and imbedded into a person’s being.”

“So now we have adults who have learned nothing of value from their parents, aside from them being nourished, clothed, entertained, and housed. From school, they learned tools needed to work and earn a living, if that; but to what ends should they live and how to live has not been taught them. No identity has been imparted to them at any stage of their life, so they construct one that does not fit them at all, and deep down, they know this. They are left to create a purpose for themselves using their senses, and soon find out how vain these purposes are and how they do not help to release them from their misery and loneliness. So they decide to escape this world using drugs, alcohol, sex, and yes, their phones as well. Not knowing themselves and despising the fact that they aren’t who they want to be, causes them to present a false persona of themselves to others, therefore estranging themselves from everyone else, resulting in more feelings of loneliness. This is all added with knowing that their only constant in their life is pain and suffering; and no matter how big a house, how nice their cars are, how beautiful their partners are, how successful they are, or how successful their children are, none of this will ever give them lasting happiness. Their misery and loneliness will remain. This is, as you will find out later, a result of having no meaning to their life; and society, scientists, and politicians are too blind, or occupied, to realize this. So these lonely, miserable, suffering people seek help and go to professionals; and what help do they get? Prescription pills and meaningless talks that might help them see their inner thoughts and actions, but do not give meaning to their lives. And in the end, these people, and the rest of society, hide away and waste their lives on addictions, passions, their phones, or social media that will distract them and keep them from improving themselves in any way. In present society, at no point are people taught what really matters, so they drift through life aimlessly, lonely, and lost.”

Thinking the priest had finished his story, Lempo asked, “What really matters?”

Father Plesta replied, “Pay attention Lempo, it is a way of living that can direct a person’s entire life. Before we talk about this in more detail, I will finish the story that results in a society which produces people with no meaning, most of whom you already know.”

“So now, imagine a person who decided his purpose is to feel pleasure and this is his only and ultimate goal. Will this man, or woman, ever find satisfaction? Of course not, so then what results from this? A world of alcoholics, drug addicts, sex addicts, impulsive eaters, and people who waste their life away on their phones living a lie. You might not think these are bad habits, but see what these people cause to themselves and others. Alcoholics beat their wives or children, kill people in car accidents, cheat on their partners, slowly kill themselves, and neglect their families, leaving them in a financial rut. They cause untold violence everywhere and lastly, they waste their life drowning their pains away in inebriation. Drug addicts are worse; they steal, rob, sell themselves, and even kill to get their next fix, in addition to all the vices of the alcoholic. They encourage others, including their children, to become addicts, they overdose, and in some cases die, they hurt their families and everyone who cares for them. Sex addicts attract diseases and spread them around, ruin their reputations, have kids and don’t bother to care for them and in really worse scenarios, molest and rape their own children. People who find pleasure in eating become obese and disfigured, harm their bodies and well-being, and in many cases their overeating ultimately results in an early death. We already talked about the vices of phone use. You want to know what all these people have in common? They are all either trying to escape their reality or trying to chase their pain away with the pleasures of those vices. All of these people are essentially depressed; they hate themselves and their lives, so they try to escape it.”

“People spend their entire lives trying to rid themselves of their loneliness, misery, and pain, but if they continue doing it the way they are, they will never succeed. If you take a look around, you will see the majority of people are in this futile state, some haven’t reached the depravity of the alcoholics and drug addicts, they still search for happiness. These are the people trying to rise up the financial ladder, the ones making a name for themselves using prestige, money, or fame. The majority of the people fall in this category, even after they become alcoholics or other types of addicts. How can you count on these people imparting the secrets of happiness and meaning to their children, if they are still searching for it themselves? And this takes us back to the beginning of my talk. Somewhere along the line of history, people lost that one essential feature humans need and replaced it with a solely material life. Young kids and teenagers are taught that a college education, a good career, a nice house, and a lot of money will make them happy, but we are seeing that this is not true. People are more lost, depressed, and lonely now than in any other time in history; and this is because we are missing that one special thing that was not neglected back then.”

“And this, my friend, is the worst crisis in existence today. Now we can start our conversation on this most important of things.”

Chapter 7 - The Priest                             Chapter 9 - The Most Important of Things