"As you died burning," a Memorial

in #war6 years ago (edited)

War is... playing with fire.
The thing about fire, is it burns where it will, and does not care whose side you are on.
In 2005 Iraq, I was attached to a platoon of Marines, engaged in daily firefights.
The particular firefight that this installation memorializes took place at night, between allied forces in a fortified position and insurgents running across the rooftops of surrounding civilian housing.
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The locals who had enough money left the city, as it devolved into the most dangerous place on earth.
The majority of the people stayed because they had no place else to go.
For me, this was the most heartbreaking part of war.
These people were caught between a rock and a hard place, most of them with no stake in the fight except having been unfortunate enough to have lived there for generations.
I talked to as many of the men (you don't talk to Muslim women as a foreigner) as I could whenever we "self-invited" ourself into homes either to investigate anonymous tips or to set up an ambush.
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The vast majority of these Iraqi's were profoundly kind and courteous, had a working knowledge of the English language, and were often university educated and very up to date with world events, often more so than I was.
They would endure being regularly stopped and patted down for weapons, being pulled over for full searches due to constant random vehicle checks, and having their homes randomly invaded, sometimes with a knock, sometimes with their door being broken down.
Can you imagine living in a place where at any hour of the day your door might get kicked down and if you were a man the only option you would have if you didn't want to get killed would be to drop to the ground and hope that the 18 year old behind the trigger wasn't jumpy?
It was impossible to tell the insurgents from the locals if they didn't have a gun in their hands, and that's exactly what the insurgents wanted.
They might be disguised as a family member in a house that we entered, and we would have never known.
If our treatment of the locals sounds harsh, then the insurgent treatment of them was brutal.
They would force themselves into homes and if the men of the house did not agree to not only shelter and support them but to also take up arms and fight beside them, then they could be beheaded.
Of course, taking up arms to fight the might of the US military was a death sentence as well.
I felt deeply for the plight of these people, and it broke my heart when ISIS swept through Iraq after we had set it in some semblance of order and once again subjected these people to brutality.
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Back to this particular story: it started off with a "common" gun battle, the type of skirmish that occurred on a daily basis: however, this time, tracer rounds from one of our squad automatic weapons started a fire in one of those houses.
I know from having been on patrols through that area that those houses were inhabited.
To be harsh to my own side, I think that the responsible thing to have done would have been to not engage at such a great distance that we could not accurately shoot at our even discern our targets (night times there, in a city with rationed electricity were pitch black).
However, the option would have been to either not return fire and imply that there were places and times that it was ok to shoot at US military personnel, or else engage in a risky night time ground raid upon an enemy with the high ground.
There are no easy decisions in war.
The fire spread to several houses, very quickly.
This is where the story ends, actually because despite horrible events like these being something a news crew would cover all the way through in a first world country, this was daily life at that time for me, and it happened that my shift was over and I had to catch a few hours of sleep whenever I could because you never knew when a huge battle could erupt and leave you unable to sleep for extended periods.
I know that we had an interpreter on the roof with a bullhorn, shouting what I think was promises of support to any civilians in the area, and I seem to remember at the same time there was someone on the prayer bullhorns in a mosque's minaret telling the whole city that the US military was burning civilians.
I'm pretty sure as well that not long after a ground convoy QRF (quick response force) reached the area and helped combat the fire and rendered aid.
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This piece took months to make.
Each tile was made from clay, hand pressed into a plaster mold.
The mold had to be pretreated with release agent, firmly tamped and worked to capture all of the detail, and then gently warmed with a hair drier for about ten minutes before that tile could be released.
It was then set aside to dry with frequent moistening to keep it drying evenly, until I had enough to fire in the kiln.
Once I had my tiles bisqued, I glazed them with a copper-containing glaze to get the bluish effect, and then fired at different heats to get the blues to emerge, as well as burning some of the surfaces.
Once I had all of my tiles, they were secured to an oak plywood reinforced board.
The gold was hand-leafed one little peace at a time.
The end result was VERY heavy and due to a last minute move I was having to do on my own, this piece ended up being another installation that was abandoned, so again Steemit: you are the only location where this work will ever be memorialized and remembered.
When you think of war, I hope that you can remember this piece, and that every conflict has civilian casualties.
Those who are the smallest threat and least to blame are often hurt the most.

[edit] upon more reflection, I recall having a conversation with our interpreter later and him telling me that there had been women and children trapped in that burning building.
He was very distraught.
Interpreters had an extremely hard job: going everywhere with the US Marines, at the front of a battle, unarmed, and knowing that if the enemy ever found out that they were working for us, that they and their family could be massacred.
Many of them joined being led toward a vague promise that they might be awarded US citizenship, but very very few were and the majority were left behind, to face the onslaught of ISIS after we left.

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Thank you for your service! And thank you for sharing your story and the sculpture it inspired. I wish I could see it in person, but the photos convey a strong sense of the scale and contours and colors. The craftsmanship is impressive (many of the materials you used sound difficult to work with) and the way it all comes together is striking. I also enjoyed reading more about the symbollism behind the different elements.

That's crushing that it had to be left behind, but wanna say that this post is a great tribute to it. The article feels like a work of sculpture in and of itself, from the introduction where you reflect on the chaotic nature of both war and fire, to your account of the experience, to the way you bring it all full circle at the end. Your descriptions of the people there who were just trying to live their lives but getting caught up in the crossfire are sobering, and your sympathy for those people shines through.

I'm sorry for the pain you've suffered, then and now, on our behalf. Thank you for sharing this! And thank you for the work you do promoting art on Steemit! Respect.

You are amazing @corpsvalues, I am so honored to know you friend! Thank you for your great service to our country, I hate the war that is going on , and I can’t imagine the pain and suffering that you have witnessed. I pray that someday there will be more peace around the world! Thank you for your amazing post and sharing your life’s story. Your an incredible writer, you should write an autobiography friend, you have such a kind loving heart. Your Memorial is brilliant, gorgeous! I appreciate you and your post, thank you so much for sharing sir❣️ May God bless you and your family abundantly. I’m so blessed you survived ❣️

Thanks @lildebbiecakes. It's hard being an artist that wants to bring up subjects most people would rather forget, but I'm trying to plow ahead anyways. I really appreciate you taking the time to view the piece and think about the subject it brings up. To change the world we first must change our minds.
God bless.

It was an incredible post, thank you so much for sharing ❣️

What a fucking powerful work...


Damn, I got speechless. Goosebumps all over. You have executed well and I can feel every emotion in this work. Installations are always powerful, and even though I wasn't there personally, you still took me to that place.

A bird's eye view of what's going on in Iraq. The details and shape of each tile resemble a Mosque. And how they were so close to each other shows their strong beliefs in their religion. The surroundings are burnt, tore down, destroyed... but there are still houses with people inside. People who have no other choice but to stay. Houses with still lights inside them..Houses with hope.. I can see people praying inside despite the war around them, thus, the gold. The gold plates are shouting "Hey there are civilians around! They aren't targets but they will be torn in between anyway."

The use of clay, which is an important part of Islamic art, was also the perfect medium to use. Heavy, of course it should be heavy! Literally and emotionally.

The use of the brown fabric (Abacca fabric?) and the branches around shows the Iraq environment.. the war torn country prevented from growing... at least for now..

I wonder, does the placement of gold mean anything? I can't read it but it looks like an Islamic calligraphy to me. Of course it does mean something, I believe you won't just randomly put the gold there. ;) Is it an important Islamic proverb? Does it say 'peace' or 'war'? I'm curious.

Also, thank you so much for sharing your experience! I don't know what to say about it. Just keep on sharing it, would looove to read more. And I guess it will be helpful to you, too.

Lastly, thank you for sharing the process. We have a minor in sculpture and I know THAT is no easy process! It requires a lot of patience as it includes a lot of trial-and-errors as well.

Great job both on the way you executed it and the concept. Very well done!

Thanks, @hiddenblade. I did a little edit at the end to mention our interpreter. It's hard for me to get these longer posts right until I actually see them out of the editor format.
Thanks for noting the symbolism in the work.
You caught all of the details that I included in its creation, and then forgot to talk about.
I do like it when other people pick out the symbolism in my work though: it's re-assuring as a creator to know those details aren't overlooked. So very perceptive of you, and thank you.
When creating, I had actually considered spelling an Islamic word in the gold leaf, but as someone who would have had to rely on the internet to get the actual word, and working in spaces as precarious as the "in-betweens" of the tile ridges, I ran the risk of making the word illegible or worse, accidentally spelling something else.
However, the use of gold leaf does hold symbolism in my sculptural work, and it is a recurring theme. See my work
https://steemit.com/life/@corpsvalues/lilies-of-the-field
For me, gold represents the value of the soul/human spirit/innocence.
I frame gold with corrosion and patina (the opposite of what you usually see from a classical gallery, with gold framing)
The corrosion represents the effect that human experiencing has in formulating our identity and character: it scars us, but adds beauty in its own way, when those experiences make us stronger.
The next sculptural piece I share will continue this theme in a way, addressing it directly.
Pre-college/military I was very much into Eastern/Byzantine icons. You will see a lot of gold leafing in the work of those artists, and again very rich in symbolism.

Oh wow.. interpreters definitely have hard jobs too.
I assume you didn't explain all the conceptual details for the audience to think and engage deeply with the work. As an artist, I love doing that. I also love when the audiences picked up the symbolism, that's why I wrote this comment to tell you that I got it! And you did a great job with it.
Ah yeah, I get that too. It needs a very deep research just to get the words right. Yeah it actually is a lot better to just think of something else for the leaf, rather than making a mistake and spelling something else.

The golden interior spoke to the beauty and uniqueness of each human soul.

Beautiful use of gold. The soul will always stand out in the darkness...

it scars us, but adds beauty in its own way, when those experiences make us stronger.

I agree, we may feel like we are trapped because of those horrible experiences, but yes it made us stronger indeed.
Thanks for sharing more about your work. So lovely to gain insights from it. I'm looking forward to those works of yours! :)

@corpsvalues can you send me a link to the discord your in buddy. cheers, i have been on for a day now looking around. :D

My discord handle is Devil#5124 you can also join the minnowpower server that will help you get set up with ginabot https://discord.gg/

Cool. I have sent you a friend request on there. :D

The images in my head from just reading about the stress in the civilians' lives are hard to make go away. I cannot imagine how you must struggle to cleanse your mind and how emotional concentrating on your art must be.

I look at it and see the burned remains of what had been a home with children who had done nothing to anyone and became victims of a war that makes no sense except evil men.

Surely there is a place where the piece can be displayed!

Thanks for taking the time to read this serious piece, @willymac.
You are absolutely correct in assuming that creating work such as this is emotionally stressful for me, the creator.
Especially for these larger installation works that took months and hundreds of hours to create, it was a very trying time.
Some assume that the creation of this type of work is cathartic, but for me there is no "laying to rest" of these memories/emotions: they are rubbed raw every time I think of them, and the creation of work that has to tap directly into those memories and emotions is like salt on a wound that will never heal.
Still, I feel the burden of sharing these experiences, in the interest of doing what little I can to persuade my fellow human beings to pursue the change the world so sorely needs.
Sadly, this piece most likely exists only in a landfill, just like my paper crane installation.
I desperately wanted to bring it with me, but was left doing a cross country move with no help around, and it weighed over 200 pounds, even when off of the concrete pedastals, and I couldn't get it into the truck, so it got abandoned in a storage locker.
These pictures are all that remain.

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