It seems to me that this woman is still merging with the children, to whom she seems to attest a rather miserable life. Isn't this compassionate suffering rather an illusion?

The indulgence in the past smells, the passage through doors, the wandering around like an escape from oneself?

It is said of depressives that they suffer until they have acknowledged their way, until they surrender to what they - created by themselves, by whom else? - seems to be preordained? Some see spirits, they have providences, they really get very very sick and only when they give up, when they have reached the bottom, they can ascend again and lead a really challenging existence. In the service of others. Depression is a strong force. People do get it wrong to want to get rid of it instead of looking into it with another eye. The real one.

What they seem to loathe, what they mostly have difficult memories of, is that which could make them strong. She who says "no" to the strongest in herself says "yes" to the weakest at the same time.

She can perish from it or use it for herself and others. Not many people follow such a call, in most cases it's also a simple imagination and a fantasy, which is played out in films and dramas and to which one clings identity addicted.

But some times, who knows, there seem to be such calls in real. Maybe she is one of them.

Giving herself to the world is not losing herself.

But for this, the right time has to come. She cannot have duties of close ones, as she chooses to be on guard all the time. Probably the hardest and the best way in a sense.