Now is now. It’s never going to be forever.

--

Repeatedly I tell myself.

Stay in the moment.

Every day a new detail leaves me,

and the memory is roaming.

--

Parts of my live come together as

little glimpses of hope

that maybe someday

memory for me won't always wash like soap.

--

I forget what I say,

don’t remember what I hear,

but if darkness comes in,

what if I forget how to fear?

--

The shortness of life

is what scares me the most.

Because what If I can’t remember

those who were closest?

--

They say every memory starts as a seed

and grows into a stem.

After that it might flourish

But I found all of mine dried out and bent.

--

You might remember what you learned in school,

who you hung out with, when, and where too.

The only things that comes to me

are a few teachers, private lessons, and maybe a friend or two.

--

I remember that I remember

something about some friend.

I couldn’t tell you their name or

what it was in the end.

--

There is a sense of guilt

having the privilege of choosing music.

Out of state, out of mind.

Dividing everyone not knowing we’d lose it.

--

The gravity that pulls me down so far and so deep,

is that feeling of loss that you just can’t sweep.

Now every day my memory gets steeper than steep,

as if my one proof of existence already slipped under my feet.

--

Now is now. It’s never going to be forever.

I have to stay in the moment,

and watch the dock by the fire.

As delicate as the breeze, I knew it was broken.

--

In the air to keep learning even more,

now is now. It’s never going to be forever.

Now I’m gone as if it didn’t happen,

I will come back and it will be better.

--

My step slides on the cold glassy surface,

And within myself I fall.

Now is now. It’s never going to be forever.

As time freezes, it hits me like rainfall.

--

The most blissful place on the planet drops tears,

as if to another it were tethered.

I will at least remember that

now is now. It’s never going to be forever.