I sort of know what I want to say, but I'm not certain I'll find the right way to lay it out.

I was touched and empathised with all you spoke of. I can see that the woman you are now is forged and strong enough to survive. But you speak of demons and the dark. You have made them yours, you have adopted them, but they do not belong to you.

They belong to the little girl, from the first to the last time, who suffered and could not understand why her life was being turned into such a hell.

Have you seen how a granny comes to visit and she plays with the dolls of her granddaughter? I believe that within each of us is the child of every age, though only those times of crisis, of great pain or joy or love are real to us.

Talk to your younger self, tell her, look honey, we survived and WE punished him. Feel my love and how I wish I could come back in time to be with you, but at least we can now be together.

Why am I saying the above? Have you not found that you try to avoid thinking of those days, that when you do, it is the memories of 'her' pain, fear and crying that torment you? You have tried to suppress her. She now needs to be unconditionally accepted and loved at last, so that you can truly grow to love yourself.

Do it and you will find that by turning the spotlight of love on that little girl, the demons will be illuminated and you'll recognise what they are: the tears, the fears, the loss of believing you are loved. It is her cries that trouble you. You cannot banish them, Listen and be gentle and loving and she will finally merge within you, I know not how happy you and she will be, but at least, neither need be fearful and hurting any longer.

You have people who love you and it makes you happy - but the one, the most important is you. You must accept yourself and love who you are and all you have achieved (everyone has some failures, but not everyone has achievements).

My love to the precious little girl and my best wishes to you.