Defining Worth (An Excerpt)

It was the perfect day for a funeral. Stormy, cloudy, and utterly depressing. The silence was deafening. I wanted to reach over and turn on the radio but I was too scared that the whole universe would explode or the earth would fall off its axis or a meteor would crash into our car; so I took a deep breath instead. Before I could finish exhaling, my mother broke the silence.

"They said that they wished they never had her." My mother stated. Her voice was firm, unwavering, but there was something underneath. I knew she cared deeply for her, however in this moment it was like she refused to see what had happened. That someone's life had been taken. All day she had been taking this whole situation too lightly. They all were, her parents in particular. She continued. 

"Such loving people, they are. They had mentioned in passing, while I gave them her flowers and condolences, that because of how much heartache she caused them both and their family, they wished they would've just stopped at two. That they wouldn't have had her had they known what she would become. Her mom said she wasn't worth the stretch marks."

It echoed in my ears. They wished they never had her. All because of the way she was? All because she chose to be herself? To love whomever made her happy? It appalled me. I felt sick to my stomach. How can you disagree with someone so much that you wish they were never brought into existence? I stayed silent. 

"I can see where they come from. She caused her family so much grief with her choices." 

My stomach dropped. My eyes started to fog. "Is it really that big of a deal? How she choose to live? Love?"

"For some people, yes. Yes it is."

And that was the end to our conversation.