John blinked once then winced. The pain in his joints, these creaky old bones – it was getting worse as the years went by.
He felt rather lonely as he always did, the kids had stopped by earlier and he’d enjoyed that but… it just wasn’t the same as actually having someone.
He swallowed once and winced. Ah, he’d have to get something for that parched throat. He slowly got up, careful not to move too suddenly and trigger the pain in his old bones, and began to shuffle toward the kitchen.
As he moved. He felt a sharp pain in his hip, but that – that was nothing. He knew what real pain was.


He sat feeling nothing but pain, nothing but shock, as he had been for the past half a day.
She was gone. HE couldn't… she was gone. She was his everything, his light, his life, and she was gone.
He looked around the crowded room, seeing but not seeing all the faces surrounding him. She had been beloved, not just by him, but by everyone. He had selfishly tried to keep her for himself, but everyone had loved her.
And… she was gone.
And then it was his time to speak. He walked up to the front, next to that box not knowing what he could say, what he should say.
And he sobbed.
He stood there, just sobbing, not saying a word, for a full five minutes, feeling… everything, nothing.
She was gone, and he had nothing left but memories, _{memories, memories, memories, memories…}


He continued shuffling forward, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, remembering as he always did. Still, he had some good memories, some triumphs.


"Come on, Johnny boy, you know what you've got to do."
John glanced at the coach and grinned. "Yes, sir."
"This is the deciding game, and I'm starting you. If this fails - well, let's just say I'm not gonna be the one the fans lynch."
He held his cocky grin, though his stomach was a mass of nerves. "Yes, sir."
"Ok, then go get 'em."
And John headed out onto the field. He needed to do well, not only were the eyes of the whole school on him, but Jim had introduced him to this cute girl Sarah. He knew she was way out of his league, but still... it had looked like she was interested.
And if he flopped this game, there was no way she'd be interested. There was no way he was going to lose this match.


He grinned again, in that way he always had. That had been a good game. It could have gone either way till the last quarter, but when he'd scored the winning goal...
That had been incredible. A rush like nothing he'd felt before. Still, it was hardly his happiest memory.


John felt a trickle of sweat slowly drip down his spine. He was... terrified. So happy, but terrified. And this suit, this itchy suit, and the tux - he felt like he was in a straightjacket.
He - should probably be listening to the priest now. He tuned in, just in time to hear "You may now kiss the bride."
He turned looked at her. Gloria. She blushed as he moved forward, leaned in and kissed her... on the cheek.
There was a pause for a second, and then the assembled guests, starting with his direct family, burst into laughter. He flushed then looked at Gloria.
She grinned at him. "A real one this time, you buffoon."
He leaned forward and kissed her again, properly this time. He was happy, he felt complete. And she was as beautiful as ever, resplendent in her bridal gown.


He kept his grin, even as his knees ached and his joints creaked, even as he continued to shuffle forward. His family had teased him about that kiss for years, Gloria most of all.
He'd just been so... nervous, he had acted on instinct and given her that kiss.
He'd been truly embarrassed at the time, though that had hardly been the most embarrassing moment of his life. No, if he had to choose something for that...


John shook his head as he stared down at the test paper. He felt stuck, in a rut. He'd been going through a hard time recently, and now, on his U.S. History test, he was failing.
He felt like he should be doing better, he had always done better, but recently... ever since his Uncle Tom had passed away he just hadn't felt the same, just hadn't felt up to it.
And if he failed this test, he was done for. Maybe he could... no, he wouldn't cheat. He was not willing to do that.
He couldn't, wouldn't. He knew it was wrong, but he- No. Not gonna do it, not gonna-
He gave in. There was nothing he could do, he couldn't fail this test.
He glanced at David's paper. David wasn't the best of students, but he was hardly the worst either. He could do this. He quickly wrote down the next answer, pushing down the twinge of guilt he felt.
He glanced up again, only to see Ms. Darrison staring straight at him. She spoke, just once: “John? Please see me after class.”
He felt a hot flush of shame running up his neck at having been caught. He looked back down at his own test, struggled his way through the rest of the answers.


He continued moving, ever moving, towards the kitchen. He was so glad he'd had a great teacher like Ms. Darrison, he'd really gotten lucky with her.
There weren’t many teachers who would let him off the hook like she had, who would understand his situation like she did, bus still insist that he put his best foot forward.
He remembered the first time he’d told this story to Gloria, she’d laughed and said “You mean to tell me you, Mr. Goody Two Shoes himself, cheated on a test?”
That had been painful, but at least he’d been able to walk away with his head held high. No, what ashamed him more was…


Gloria turned to look at him, stared him full on in the face with a serious expression on her face.
"I... can we... have kids? I've wanted some for a while, but now, after your brother just had another one-"
"You want kids? Of course I'll give you kids. But I'm not gonna go snatch them off the street."
She smiled at him, but he could see that she was still absolutely serious.
"But really, I-"
"Don't worry, Glory. If you want kids, I can just step up my game."
He winked cheekily at her. She laughed despite herself.
"But what if we can't? What if we fail?"
"Come on Glory. I don't fail. I don't accept failure. You should know that by this point."


But he had. To his chagrin, this time he had. And even as he shuffled forward, he regretted this, regretted never giving Gloria the kids she'd wanted, never having children of his own, though he knew he’d been a good uncle, and Gloria a good aunt, to his nieces and nephews, much as his beloved Uncle Tom had been to him.


Johnny jumped up, excited as ever.
“It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas! What did Santa get me?”
His brother Danny cracked an eye open on the other bed. “Calm down, Johnny. Santa’s not even real.”
“Wh-What do you mean Santa’s not real?”
He was upset the whole day, nothing his sister Mary or his parents said could fix it for him.
And then Uncle Tom arrived.
"So how are my three 'E's? Johnny, Danny, Mary?"
Johnny looked at him and spoke tearfully, "Danny said Santa's not real!"
And Uncle Tom pulled him off to the side, spoke to him alone for a few minutes.


John smiled to himself as he completed those last few steps to the kitchen. He didn't remember the details of the conversation by this point, he just remembered that Uncle Tom had known exactly what to say to make him feel better. His Uncle Tom had always been there for him, that day had been no exception.
He moved into the kitchen, blinking slowly as his eyes adjusted to the harsher light.
Now why was he here, again?
Maybe- no, that wasn't it.
It was probably just for exercise, his doctor had told him he needed to exercise more.
And with that thought John turned and shuffled out, once again lost - as he always was - in the endless sea of memories.

-hyperbole out.