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RE: The Rise and Fall of the Ta Ta : Short Story
This is beautiful and imaginative. It's hard to merge poetry and prose although I try it from time to time. This is a touching allegory and would work as well in prose as in poetry. Milton would use narrative and tell epic stories in verse. It's funny but I could see this working as a colourfully illustrated children's book because there's comprehension on different levels and that's what happened to Gulliver's Travels and Alice in Wonderland. Your tale is mythical and epic - but let me give you one word of caution - not everyone has educated sensibilities and a contest is only as good as its judges. Whether you win or lose don't let it break your heart, because this is good.
Thank you so much for your well considered reply. I've done this contest for a couple of years now and no longer expect to win. The winners always seem entirely random and last year the out and out winner (from An Audience perspective, )only got a second! I've changed the ending a little so it is more well-rounded( as in how the Earth now worships the sun.) I'm also going to try and learn as much as I can off by heart as I always feel that gives it a completely different slant and is better from a performance point of view. I'm just hoping to get through the heats at this stage. The first year I did this context the stories weren't very much but last year they blew me away. I had been foolish and only written mine the night before - I suppose based on the quality of the previous year . Lesson learnt! This is my second major re drafting and I've slept on it a few times :) by the way means a lot coming from you that you like it. I was trying to think who your writing reminds me of and I think it is Lee Child's. I think I am discovering I can only write fantasy :)
I can see that you have good insight into your art - that's important. We all follow different paths and you're right - your lane is fantasy. I didn't know about Lee Childs but after your comment, I read a New York Times article on him. His books look interesting and I'll try to get hold of one. Thank you!
I think from memory lee childs is very punchy with his prose. He's also a mega best seller!!
Oh,well then I'll take that compliment! Seriously though, his series of novels seem interesting and I am intrigued.