Chapter 1 - Home

“I hate waking up. I am cursed another day to continue breathing. Why can’t my breath just stop when I will it to? What keeps my breath going even though I don’t want it to?”

The kid slowly got out of bed and threw the sheets to the floor. Taking some time to look around the room, with junk spread all over the floor, the kid whispered, “What’s the purpose of all of this? Why does it seem like if life is one big cruel joke? I don’t want to play this game anymore. I give up okay, please let me go; don’t make me go through another day. What is the meaning of it all? Why does life hurt so much, why do I feel so alone?”

The kid picks up his shiny cell phone and walks up to the mirror and asks, “Who are you?”

He turns as someone knocks on the door saying, “Lempo, the food is ready. You can’t stay in your cave all day, you have to eat.”

Lempo managed to muster out a cheerful. “I’ll be there in a minute mom!”

“Don’t take too long, the food is getting cold.”

Lempo didn’t respond as footsteps faded away. Pulling up his cell phone, he began to check his messages and social media accounts. He maneuvered through his phone as if it was a part of his limbs, but no matter what he saw, read, or sent, this extra limb brought him no happiness.

He took a moment to stare at his phone, not as a piece of electronics, but as an essential piece of his life; as a representation of who he is; as one big friend containing the attributes, thoughts, and beliefs of all his friends.
As he stared at this divine object, he grumbled, “Why can’t you make me happy? Why can’t you show me what it all means?”

As Lempo said this, he was scrolling through his ‘friends list’ but this also did not make him happy. Looking at his ‘friends’ he continued speaking, “Do any of you know how much pain I’m in? Do you even care?”

Lempo drew the phone away and thought, “Why does it feel like something’s missing? Why do I feel so alone when I have hundreds of friends? Aren’t friends supposed to help each other out? Everyone looks so happy, why can’t they let me join in on their happiness?” As Lempo said this, he felt something inside him wanting to answer. Nothing came out until he thought deeply and cracked open the mental door to reason as he thought:

O – ‘Maybe those people aren’t happy either; maybe they feel just as lonely as I do.’

X – ‘If that’s the case, why isn’t anyone trying to help themselves get out of their misery?’

A hard knock jolted him out of his thoughts; it was Lempo’s mom saying, “Hurry up, your food’s getting cold.”

Lempo replied, “I’m coming.”

A couple more knocks and his mom again, “I’m not leaving this door until you open it and come out to eat.”

“Okay, okay calm down, I’m going.” Sluggishly, Lempo moved towards the door and with a breath of exasperation, whispered, “Another miserable day starts; here goes nothing.” Gripping the door handle, Lempo reluctantly turned it and slowly cracked it open.

With the door wide open, mom, with arms crossed, asked young Lempo, “What took you so long?”

Lempo groaned before replying, “Oh you know, I had to help a girl out my window.”

“Is that right? She must have been one of those anorexic kids to be able to fit through the burglar bars.”

Lempo bumped himself on the head and said, “You got me. I forgot all about the burglar bars being installed.”

Smiling, the mom said, “Alright joker, go on and eat.”

Lempo, phone in hand, walked to the renovated kitchen, sat down in front of his plate, raised his phone, and began to maneuver the device that maintained his social connections. Thumbs speedily tapping and sliding the all-powerful screen, no attention was paid to the world around him; only to the tiny screen which held his entire world. Eyes rolling side to side, up and down with an emotionless stare, in a hypnotic trance Lempo, at this moment, lived only for the screen. All his mind, body, and might were focused on the screen; all his attention was transfixed on the screen. Tap, tap-tap, slide, tap…slam!

Lempo, startled and jolted out of his trance, looked to see what noise caused this intrusion.
From behind, he heard the voice of his intruder, “Put that phone down for a moment. Show some respect for your mother’s cooking. She woke up early to make you food to eat, not so you could let it get cold and spoiled. Oh, and by the way, there’s your chemistry book.”

Annoyed, Lempo replied, “Thanks dad, and also thanks for almost giving me a heart attack.”

“Hahaha, don’t mention it. Now let’s see what your mom cooked for us this morning.” As the dad sat down, he turned and said, “I guess your mom was tired of waiting for both of us and ate without us, make sure you apologize.”

Lempo was back on his phone monotonously responding, “Uh-huh, yeah.”

The dad noticed and slammed his hand on the table saying, “Lempo please put down the phone. We need to talk; you’re really starting to get out of control.”

Attentive to everything, Lempo said, “I’m not doing anything wrong. You’re making a big deal about nothing.”

“Yes, you are doing something wrong. You’re letting that damn phone take control of your life. You don’t do anything but lay around all day while you’re on that phone. Even when you’re eating, you don’t stop using that phone.”

“So what, it’s not like I’m hurting or bothering anyone. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“The big deal is that you’re wasting your life away on that phone. Life wasn’t meant to be lived through a phone; it’s meant to be lived out there, which doesn’t include your phone. You need to go out and explore the world Lempo.”

“But I am exploring the world; I’m doing it through my phone.”

“That phone can only show you so much, but it doesn’t compare to the real, material world. You need to go out and experience the world for yourself, and you can’t do that if you’re on the cell phone all day.”

“But I have all I want right here, on my phone.”

“Look, please promise me that you will at least go out and try to enjoy yourself; then you’ll understand what I’m trying to tell you.”

Taking the first bite from his plate, Lempo said, “And what if I don’t like it?”

Chuckling, the dad responded, “You have to try it out first before you can say that.”

“I have to think about it. I’ll let you know tomorrow if I’ll do it or not.”

“Once you start procrastinating, you never stop, you already spent the beginning of summer laying around, messing with your phone. Look, just do it today and if you don’t like it then I won’t mention it for the rest of your vacation. But you have to spend all day outside. Do we have a deal?” The dad put down his fork in front of the empty plate and waited patiently for a response.

Lempo took a few more bites from his plate as he pondered a response. As he finished chewing, he said, “I’ll do it, but just for today.”

Smiling, the dad replied, “I think you should leave your phone here while you’re out.”

“Whoa, hold up; no one said anything about leaving my phone behind.”

“But if you take it, you will be too busy playing with that thing instead of experiencing the world around you.”

“I promised to spend all day outside, but I am not going without my phone. I have people I text and share pictures with, and also…”

“Alright, alright I get it. You don’t have to leave it. Just don’t spend the entire day on it. Well, I gotta go.”

The dad stood up and headed toward the door. Catching himself, the dad turned around and said, “Damn I almost forgot to apologize to your mom.” Winking at Lempo, he walked out to the hallway.

As soon as his dad was gone, Lempo took the phone from his lap and, as he stared at the black screen, he thought, “Why can’t they just leave me alone? Why does he want me to go outside if there’s nothing out there for me? It’s hard enough to get out of my bed and now he wants me to go outside when all I want to do is spend my miserable life laying down.”

The silent sound of reason began to stir inside Lempo’s mind, and slowly but surely it arose to the forefront of his thoughts:

O – ‘Maybe I’ll find what I’m looking for out there.’

X – ‘What am I looking for?’

O – ‘Purpose.’

X – ‘There is no purpose. Life’s one big sham, it’s just one big cruel meaningless game.’

O – ‘I can’t just lay around basking in my sorrow and misery.’

X – ‘Whether I do that lying down or out there doesn’t matter; I’m still going to be miserable.’

O – ‘Maybe dad knows how I feel and that’s the reason he wants me to go out, because being out there will alleviate my pain.’

X – ‘First of all, dad doesn’t know anything about how I feel. He doesn’t even care how I feel. And second, life will be pointless no matter where I am. Nothing will take away this pain I have, although I really wish there was something to show me that life isn’t a pointless, cruel game.’

O – ‘Even though I don’t want to go outside, I made a promise to dad that I would.’

X – ‘As soon as he leaves I’m going back to my room. Promises, eating, life, it’s all pointless anyways.’

The dad walked into the kitchen, put his hand on Lempo’s shoulder and said, “Go out there and experience as many things as you can and you will see that there is more to this world than a phone screen.”

“I guess,” is all Lempo said as he stared into his phone.

Opening the door to leave, the dad turned around and said, “Oh, and don’t think you’re going to weasel out of your promise after I leave. I told your mom to make sure you keep your word. Get ready because in thirty minutes she’s going to see you out this door and not let you in until it starts to get dark. By that time, I’ll be back. Bye!”

As the door closed, Lempo let out a loud groan. He stood up and walked straight to his messy bedroom. Falling head first onto his bed, he grabbed a pillow and yelled into it. Releasing his face from the pillow, he said, “I don’t want to do anything and they can’t make me; all I want to do is lay here and go to sleep. There’s no point in doing anything, everything is meaningless. Going out there is not going to take the pain out of life anyway.”

O – ‘If I go out I might not be lonely anymore, there’s a lot of people I can meet.’

X – ‘I have hundreds of friends on my phone and I still feel lonely. Meeting people out there isn’t going to help.’

O – ‘Talking with people that I may meet out there might not be the same as doing it on a phone.’

X – ‘It’s all the same. When I go to school and talk with my ‘friends’ I still feel empty inside. Nothing’s going to help me with my loneliness.’

O – ‘But in school everyone’s busy in class and when we’re not, everyone’s on their phone. When people do talk, they’re on their phone most of the time anyway, instead of paying attention to each other,’

X – ‘So, then what’s the difference in this instance? Anyone I try to hang out with is going to be on their phone the entire time, like at school. Nobody cares about me or my loneliness; there’s no point in going outside.’

O – ‘Mom’s going to make me go, so I might as well get ready.’

X – ‘Nah, maybe she’ll forget, so I think it’s better to just stay here lying down.’

Lempo eased himself into the mold of the bed, already shaped from constant use in his favorite position. Staring at the ceiling, Lempo thought to himself, “Being awake only causes me to suffer and feel empty inside. I wish I could sleep all day with no one bothering me; drowning out the emptiness of life with the darkness of sleep is my only pleasure.”

Raising the phone next to his head, Lempo lulled himself to sleep repeating in his mind, “What’s the purpose of life?”

Steeped in complete darkness mentally and physically, Lempo lay in repose taking a small break from his miserable existence. A loud, sudden knock brought him back to reality; followed by his mom’s voice saying, “Your dad told me to make sure you go outside today.”

Lempo, still drowsy, replied, “Leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep.”

The door swung open with his mom looking in as she said, “If you’re not on your phone, you’re sleeping; you have to get up and do something, not just lay around all day.”

Still in the bed, Lempo said, “I don’t want to go out, I’m better off lying here.”

“You made a promise to your dad and I am not going to raise a kid that can’t keep his promises. You spend too much time cooped up in here; you have to go out Lempo. You can’t just be on your phone all day; I don’t understand how you kids can spend all day on your phones and ignore the world around you. Going outside will be good for you Lempo, so please get dressed and ready to go.”

Lempo threw on a smile and managed to cheerfully say, “I’m going to try it out just for today even though I already know I won’t enjoy it. I’ll be out right now, just give me a minute.”

“Okay sweetie,” before leaving, the mom added, “Oh and don’t think I didn’t notice that you barely touched your food. I don’t know if you’re in love or what’s going on, but you need to start eating properly. I’m going to make you two sandwiches and give you some money so you could eat while you’re out there. I’ll give you ten minutes to get ready.”

Holding in a yell, Lempo thought, “I really don’t want to do this. But it’s only for today, so I just have to get this day behind me and I don’t have to worry about them bothering me again.”

As Lempo got up, he heard the sacred call that attracted all his attention. He thought, “That makes me feel a little better.” Looking down, Lempo saw the phone blinking to a much anticipated notification waiting to be read. He picked up the phone thinking, “Is it a picture or a message? Or it could be a video or maybe a mixture of all these.”

While he was about to check the message, Lempo caught himself thinking, “The faster I get this day over with, the better. I’ll get ready real quick, get out and find a place to chill and use my phone in peace.”

Lempo got dressed and started to head toward the door when he remembered and ran to the side of his bed, grabbing a phone charger. Taking a deep breath, as he headed out the door, Lempo thought, “Why does life have to be so cruel to me?”

Sluggishly walking, Lempo stepped into the kitchen and saw his mom waiting for him. She said, “Here’ the money and the sandwiches, you better eat them.”

Forcing a smile, Lempo said, “Of course.”

“I’m serious Lempo!”

“Okay, okay.”

“Cheer up, you act as if going outside is such a horrible thing. You know, when I was growing up, we would spend all day outside and hated going back into the house. It’s all backwards now. I’ve been trying to tell you to go outside, but you’re always asleep or too busy on your phone, that you pay me no mind. And when we finally get a chance to talk in the kitchen table, you stay glued to that God awful screen, ignoring the world around you; you even forget about eating.”

“So, it was you who told dad to make me go outside?” responded Lempo angrily as he grabbed the sandwiches and money.

His mom said, “We both wanted you to do this. People don’t just exist on your phone honey, they exist in real life and communicating with them in person is a whole lot different than doing it on your phone.”

“What’s the difference?” Lempo asked with a confused expression.

“I can’t believe you’re asking me that; haven’t you ever talked with someone at school?”

“Yeah, but they’re always on their phone, they hardly pay attention. So, tell me, what’s the difference?”

“When you talk with someone face-to-face, it feels more real.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“When you go out there you’ll find out.”

“But, what if the people I meet are like the people at school?”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone different.” The mom went to open the door and said, “Now, come on so you can find out what I’m talking about.”

Walking out the door, Lempo said, “I don’t even know where to go?”

Pushing him out the door, his mom replied, “Go to the park.” She closed the door before he could say anything else.

A Depression Odyssey: Chapter 2 - The Park