retro replay
This is a re-do of my very first post, from two years ago today. I hadnt joined a server yet and had no clue about discord. formatting was a mystery, I had no audience, nor was I sure what type of material to engage with, so i went with something obscure and semi-unrelatable. this is so typical of me..
poetry like this is challenging to write without a variety of fonts, a basic addition to a front end editor that i'm still waiting for two years later. I know that i can write this in another application and copy pasta, but i dont like that because formatted words are difficult to check for plagiarism.
I chose an experimental poem that i am fond of, but perhaps its a bit bizarre and quite difficult to grok for a non poet. The challenge was to take three or more disjointed or unfinished poems, and combine them into one. In other words, a poem within a poem, where the author is speaking with different levels of awareness or perspective, distinct voices that fade away - removed or coalesced into one.
When i posted this two years ago, remover recieved one whole vote and garnered no earnings. let's see if I can a little better this time.
Remover
hope is our innards pasted on the skin of trees
amulets of wisdom sung
to ward off evil
.
a billow of arabic gum, egg whites
laughter
beeswax in a mesh of solitude
apply gently
one part each orchid petals
and sorrow
combine with the sole soul of a shoe
bake for two hours
leaves a color ranging from sane to dread
.
shot with the temerity of thunder
why oh why do we love
when living is criminal enough for plagues ~
.
water drips down
ages waiting for a door that never opens
hoping for any moment to believe...
.
the news of your death was not unexpected
in review
had seen it coming for weeks,
imagined in night fears as a child...
.
dew on the armpits of a dove
a stank stale sweat that kept us alive
reminding us to hold when
fears chase
boundaries of forgiveness
.
stay silent in this moment
linger like a simmering harlot
raw as her sunset fades against the heat
hoping for clarification
.
stains rip finger dykes to draw
an intricate design on fading hands
of Machiavellian dreamlike...
.
your chinese laundry harem dance
like manuscript lines
replicate trust only to disown
.
put on your spectacles – see
the spawn of tunnels
leading to an onslaught of myth
creation vibration cessation - hypothesis
.
wondered if i could make bad things not happen
if i thought of exactly how they might..
the synthesis of all words burns inside
my sinus tachycardia like a heart attack
clandestine horror drifts in and out
.
seethe in a moment while bantering
nonsense aches to be easedinto a black hole
a mass of meanings yearnings
waiting to be set free
when all the primordial ooze has dried
like cum on withered flanks
and the sparkle and shine of the sea
washes dull in a pale following
.
you stumble in on gangly legs
bending at the knee and trembling to rise
suckle love from an unwilling breast...
.
a ‘what if ’ test to find out
how i might handle reality
emotion is a bottleneck
purpose misdirected
.
where is the release valve
where is the nail to split my --.
Poetry is such a challenge
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its funny i used to write it with such ease, if you have the creativity, inclination, and know the a few basic rules, its quite simple to make a passable poem out of anything. im going to post a found poem later that took me an hour to mesh together. the trick is to edit it down to the basics without over editing.you want to see the tailbone and the gristle, with just the right amount of flesh..
Anyone can make two words rhyme but not anyone can make it mean something
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ive a little secret. i dont try to rhyme ;)
theres absolutely no rule in poetry that says it must, its just a style or genre, like punk versus metal. have you ever tried to rhyme in old english? don't try, its like trying to make music with a pick axe..
poems back then didn't use rhyme. Instead, they used alliterative verse and stress-timing. now thats way more than you ever wanted to know ;)
I wish i could be a poet.
I'm not good at it.
Keep it up.
half of poetry, like any art, is in practice.
Initially, the separate voices are distinct, their tones juxtaposing one another, but as the poem goes on they seem to spiral into each other and meld their tones. Very cool technique.
the line between sanity and psychosis
heh, I can’t read poetry in the original language to understand the meaning of the text immediately.
Google translator is a bad helper here. Or maybe the opposite is true? :)))
oh you are too kind!!! this is not the poem to try in a translator. there are way too many concepts that would not translate well given the duality of the meanings. it might make sense if you are a mental patient or adept at hieroglyphics.
haha I'm schizophrenic lol
i like that style , sometimes i do too change the words in my mind .
great challenge doing so .
its a chore to stop myself from rewriting my own work each time i look at it..
Gonna come back to this later. Mind blown. Stunning... you are definitely a wordsmith extraordinaire xx
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ha u missed all my good stuff. im going to start reposting the ones that never got traction (ie less than 5 votes, a few cents payout)
Me too in that case lol!! I actually have been redrafting some so that counts right?
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