Writing Prompts (Week 1) - Dispersion of thoughts (Short Story)
Suddenly I was here. I do not even know how. I was not aware of where I was, and even less I had a notion of who I was.
An endless darkness in every direction I look at.
Why am I here?
The helplessness has already begun to covert to me. Thoughts flew at the speed of light in my head and I felt completely helpless. Without any indication, I have found myself here, in an unknown abyss.
I looked at my feet just to turn my thoughts from those agonal feelings that sneaked to me and avoided the cruel feeling of panic and tension. Under my feet I saw something that I did not think was possible. The skulls, small and large, were only contours of those long forgotten bones. I went down to all four to touch what gave me the support because there was no light, only a small halo around my body that had light and let me not crawl at the moment.
Yes, it was what I thought. I corrected myself and stepped forward, and the gloomy sound of this movement brought worst nightmares to my imagination. The bones of the dead.
Far, somewhere far away that I'm not sure whether I'm just imagine it or it's really there, I heard a voice.
"Do you think that you are the only one who came here? You think that you are the only one who has managed to find the solution of that puzzle that lies in that distant cave in the forgotten world?"
It seems to me that that tension, that unbearable pressure in my head has become even more intense than before. Although those words finally brought me back a little awareness of who I am and why I am here.
A little scholar who has the only value that has a quick and clear mind. The whole idea of coming here was so naïve at this moment. It seems that no one has grown up to this mental pressure that someone can be exposed here.
I was silent, what else could I do?
Again the voice, deprived of all emotions and so, so far. Far and distant and so alien. As if coming from all sides of that dark abyss, and taking that little light around me.
"You are not ready for what you came for. True, we still did not break you as those who came before you, but you will follow the same path of destiny. None of you was ready, the question is, will anyone ever be? "
Although my body physically did not felt pressure, my breathing was getting harder. I could not think clearly. Thoughts, they became distant as well as that mystical voice. I had the feeling that they no longer belong to me, my thoughts. And that little awareness of who I am and why I am where I am, began to fade again.
In this complementary and ubiquitous darkness, I felt my heart weaker and weaker. It's as if it scares of that empire of nothing.
Tension, that great psychical pressure, broke me. Although my thoughts and memories faded, I was aware of what was inevitable. This is my end.
And one last thought, one that has not been deleted and far away ... we are all too small for what we want.
The memories and a few emotions, without a clear message and sense, flew in front of me, in front of my eyes.
"I just wanted to help ..."
The last physical feeling that my being is dispersed at the same time with my thoughts and disappears in an unknown darkness.
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I love this. Short but brilliant. Especially the part 'We are too small for things what we want'. It's true in life too. I will think about this story I guess. You got me :)
It's a point for me, to give a story with deeper thoughts. I very glad you liked it so much. :)
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I like the way how you wrote about the feeling, emptiness, afraid and uncertain when you woke up in a place where you forgot what was your mission. You have express it well in this story @stormlight24. Although this only a short story, but you have covered the story with what you want to deliver. How you get into this story idea?
In fact, when I started writing, I had the idea to write a story of internal suffering. The circumstances in the story were simply ideas at the time of writing.
wow, this explained it all. The story expressed the feeling well. You used to write short story? or you have wrote long story as well.
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No, just short one.
cool.. not easy to deliver a message through short story.
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That might be quite scary to be able to realize that inevitable end is approaching and you can’t change anything. That might splash adrenaline that makes your heart to race and sweat, thousand thoughts running through and you consciousness that will try to find a solution because it can’t accept that it is over the switch off button will be pressed shortly. Nice story that brings a lot of thoughts to readers too.
Thank you. It seemed appropriate for me to write this in this way, for this topic of the tension I wrote about. This inner suffering and struggle, as well as the acceptance of what has to happen sometimes, without regard to anything else.
Such a beautiful build up of tension and then the release as your character, "disappears in an unknown darkness." Powerful and moving short story, @stormlight24.
It's great to meet you. :)
Thank you for kind words :)