Oh, dear grasshopper

This is Zen in ten parts on a dark and moody Thursday…

I was a miner in 63 you know, when things were different and I had other things on my mind that I was digging for with every shovel of dirt I could dig to connect to, that came as huge breaths that gave me things that I’d forgotten to think about, things that were unexpected, and yet they came; like the piano in that hall I walked into one day, looking for the space that I needed. I wanted to dance as I walked into it, but there was someone else with me that would have thought it most peculiar without a licence.

Damn estate agents I thought and walked on quicker to get there first.

The hall was big, with nothing in it but hundreds of chairs, and the piano.

It was an old piano, with many bits missing, and some worn beyond any other expectation to perform anymore; and yet huge, and beyond everything but the moment.

As I walked in to that hall, I fell in love with the place, and gave a wink to the piano to say that I’d be back soon, to make some music, for some moments, even though they are gone as soon as they are made to hardly ever make a difference.
Oh, how can you beat the holy snail I said in my grave of loneliness about all this many years later after it had all gone and I was somewhere else again?

I was a grasshopper, sitting beside the fire and welcoming the breeze that called, and greasing my envelopes for the hard winter ahead.

Zen, part two…

Circumstantial differences aside there are some wide-ass suckers out there, and many signs saying: come in, it’s for free.

I ignored every single one of them as I swept on by, and kept my eyes closed, right up until when from out of nowhere a policeman jumped on me and said: I am arresting you in the name of the law.

So I said: grasshoppers are exempt from all taxes you know?

I didn’t know that, he said, and got up onto his toes and did a little ballerina act, and twirled here and there; stupid twit I thought; and then he did a huge fart that launched him into space.

And up he went.

Anyway, I was reaching out with my fingers to try and find the channel changer, when a surprising thing happened: old wolfie, from his basket, howled at the moon to say: we must save the policeman when he comes down.

Well, that won’t be for a while I said; anyone got any deep fried grasshoppers?

Zen, part three…

A monk, in his fingers, was praying to god to save him, when a monkey jumped in through his open window and announced itself as the hypochondriacs sister come to pray.

You should have heard him scream

Zen, part four…

I have to say that my mission is not to kill you, but I am parabolic, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it.
The church of next Friday closed its doors about this, and the master race said nothing.

Bird song was coming from somewhere though, and so the masked detective, coming to his senses, set out to discover what was happening.

Down the dark stairs he trod with his big feet and made not a noise more than he had to. Coming to the bottom of the stairs he looked about in the pitch dark blackness, and seeing nothing, he walked on towards his doom.

Another midnight then, and so close to heaven, where folding clouds, abandoned and grey grow through your makeup that you made to get into heaven.

Ah, grasshopper, nice try, but, better luck next time….

Zen, part five…

Perhaps the birds were tweeting on a different tree, or maybe it was a witch out of her hair, but things were feeling me as I felt them as I came into my expectation tree some yards further on, but a snow storm blundering around in my left eye was grieving me contradictory indications, so I turned right into market street and hoped to get a better view of the night kiss that was brewing.

A dirty girl with branded stockings approached me from out of the light of a lamp post with her pouting lips and boobs drawn up to her head and asked me for a light.

Abracadabra I said, and lit her up.

Just call me Debs she said and pushed her thigh all the way up to my chin.

I let her, and gasped a little bit.

When she ran her hands through my hair I heard those birds again tweeting from a different tree, and I couldn’t get enough grain for my sugar.

I am going to arrest you in the name of the law said that bloody policeman still following me around and coming upon us in the middle of the road, making something, right there and then.

And then I was disentangled, with her running off in her high heels, and me weak at the knees.

What do you want now I growled at the policeman and began the task of doing myself back up.

A shrimp, out on the night, spotted me from a long way off and drunkenly made a winding way towards me.

So I looked the copper in the eye and said: arrest me for what, but whatever it is please, get a move on?

Looking silly again, the copper jumped up and did a twirl, and flounced off into some sunset I couldn’t see.

I was thinking of lying down and going to sleep somewhere, but not here.

I pulled my bones together and made a run for it and slipped into: Zen, part six…

You know, there are times when you will look lively, and then there are times when you won’t, and of all these times, you’ll be looking over your shoulder and holding your breath in case anyone comes close to see you as you really are, and saying: I’m out of practice, give me a double on the rocks, and hold the ice.

Well, in the mind’s eye this can be seen for what it is, dear grasshopper, but anywhere else, it can’t be, so don’t be so hard on yourself before you’ve lived your life.

I scratched my head for a while about this and found not a lot so decided to go for a walk in the cornfield to see if I could find anyone to talk to…

Zen, part seven…

I am sure the doctor will be very interested in this, said the examining nurse, pulling the forms right out of my hands, and without a backward glance raced off through a door that closed too quickly to leave me wondering about too much.

I heard the sound of birds coming from somewhere as I extricated myself through the nearest window to steal away.

But:

Twenty seven minutes later I stole back in, which is when that bloody policeman came and arrested me for breaking and entering.

I just can’t win, I tell you; I just can’t win.

Now then, said the policeman, you’re nicked this time, aren’t you?

Are you the policeman that does the dancing?

Yes I am, he said.

I took out my money and found ten dollars. How much can you do with that I said?

Let’s see, said the policeman, and reached up on his toes and did a twirl.

Zen, part eight…

A persuading form of events with a complicated click rate invaded the stage during the chorus and did a dance right the way along the edge and into the curtains, and was not seen again during the performance as the piano played a lively piece.

This is wonderful I thought, and grabbed a hand full of popcorn.

Zen, part nine…

Beginning and middle have gone…what is left?

I’m no expert, but: there are pieces of pain lying about everywhere I go that want to crawl all over me with their bruises and dying eyes that plead to my heart to bake them some warmth.

There’s no denying that in the freezing cold, but if we ever get to Zen, part ten, we’ll be home.

Zen, part ten…

There is nowhere I can go beyond this where my past is melded into my future, with me on the way in between them.
I am a slave fan then, and go to the beach every Sunday to paddle in the waves.

Taking the twig out of my eye I rammed it up the ass of some suit, and boy did that make me feel good.

And then my melted eyes roved all over to find mushrooms, but saw not a hair of whatever of them and so went back to melting the snake that eats its tail in the endless rabbit-hole.

And this was when I grabbed a turnip and took a big bite.

Yes, it was a big turnip full of mud, but I was hungry and just had to eat something.

And then, taking a sip of something nice I tried not to expect too much from the next moment.

The next moment came with dancing girls that appeared from nowhere and made me very happy; and because it was a dark and moody Thursday I wasn’t going anywhere else, not even if the policeman who was hiding in the shadows came and arrested me again.

End if part one...

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