Feeling sorry for myself and some nice photos: October 12 2018
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I am feeling sorry for myself... I am whining... and I hope tomorrow it will be alright again. I am not proud of my mood and I could go on a whining viscous circle (you know feeling sad, being ashamed of feeling sad, being sad because of feeling ashamed...)
Some weeks ago, I have applied for an art exhibition with the topic "peace?" A part of my entry was this mask and a poem. https://steemit.com/needleworkmonday/@neumannsalva/peace-is-death-a-fibersculpture-for-artexplosion-and-needleworkmonday
I have worked further on this installation: completed another mask and more of the fiberwork.
But it was not enough. I was not chosen. For me (perhaps others are feeling in the same way after rejection... ?) this seems as a proof of my incompetence. From there on its only down in the rabbit hole, as I question everything. Everything I have achieved I destroy. I look at myself and only see boring ugliness. I lash out at myself without a limit. Thankfully (for everybody involved :-D), I mostly overcome this in hours and start a plan to 'fight' back :-D
Today I was rescued by my husband. We went out at night and talked, and I took some night photos on the way.
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It's always difficult to say with art what some people like and expect. It's not some STEM-things where you have right or wrong.
Theoretically I know that you are right, but practically I am very disappointed. MÄÄÄÄÄHHHHHHH!
hands out a cookie
Perhaps this one? https://www.momcandothis.com/best-scottish-shortbread-recipes/
Then I would eat all... and lick the baking tray :-DDD
<3
Not a nice feeling, @neumannsalva. Can you send a submission to ask for an exhibition elsewhere ?
I've been 'battling the flood' at home and I'm a bit tired so I think I'll have a biscuit too :D
Thank you for your compassion :-) Perhaps there are other opportunities, but I am no good in self -marketing. I was used to do this in a team for my dance-theatre ensemble but alone and for something not stage related am a bit lost....
But flood does not sound too good????! What happened? I hope your house and everybody in it is ok? (And naturally I share my virtual biscuits)
Storm Callum, @neumannsalva.
We've been clearing the flooded kitchen and living room ... It's been hard work !
Thank you for the virtual biscuits - I need all the energy I can get :D
Do you need to belong to an art 'club' to access things ? Or perhaps work within a field like 'community art' ?
Oh nooo, I did not hear it, I thought only in the south (Portugal Mallorca) were problems with this storm. I am so sorry. I hope not too much is damaged beyond repair. I send you more energy and biscuits. We live a bit higher up, so we never encountered a flood. But we had bad problems with the storms Ela and Kyrill, as the roof of the house we live in was old and not renovated: rain on the inside of the windows and our friends in the flat above had to move for one month, because of the water damaged. (We could stay, but two rooms were inaccessible). So, I feel with you. It is painful to lose loved things (and very expensive if electric devices are destroyed)
So again: strength and hugs from me <3
Always difficult to be denied a thingy, but I think you are a strong spirit and you will bounce back stronger and there will be other opportunities :D Keep your chin up <3 I love your work~~
Thank you @veryspider for your compassion. I must admit I am not too good at self-marketing (meaning I suck) and I worked before very long in a totally different field of art. I was a dancer and choreographer, but because of health problems this is no longer possible. I started a year back to explore other fields of art, but how to position oneself there is beyond me... The market for visual arts seems to be much more closed than for performing arts (or I am simply too old or have the wrong curriculum). But nevertheless, expressing myself creative and making weird things will not stop :-DDDD
<3
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Do you like to look at your own art? When you created something and you put it in a drawer or in a closet and then take it out after some time: Do you enjoy it? Does it cause feelings, thoughts and also satisfaction that you've done a piece which has meaning for you? Are you fully satisfied with the above shown artwork of yours?
How much does the voice of another one count in comparison with that part of you who was the creator?
I know, it's hard to stay content. When my work does not trigger a lot of attention I am living through the emotions, too. Today I heard the good advice that the feeling to produce the next good thing one should not follow but just accept my emotions. Like you did and went for a walk with your man, knowing, things will pass.
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