You speak of darkness and despair for yourself yet you have such beautiful wishes for others.
Are you still in that darkness? Is that love and good wishes not in there for you too?
I have been to some dark places which were bought about by someone else's unkind words when I was young. but once I learned there words were not truth and I learned to fight I broke out of that darkness and vowed never to allow someone to put me there again and I also watched that my actions didn't put someone else in that dark place either.
Wishing you much love and light!