Hello yo! It be the best day of the week and no, I ain't talking about the day that the Missus washes that tired old grey bra. No, I'm talking about Beer Saturday!!!

Booooom!!!

Mild disclaimer: the Good Lady owns no tired grey bra's.

There, I have hopefully saved myself from a stern kicking of the arse when she reads this.

So. Welcome all, welcome to the finest beer review blog on this big spinning globe of destruction we call the Earth. I shall do my best to guide you and touch you deeply with my beerity.

That's a real offer.

But enough wibbly woo. Let's have a beer or two!

What do we have this week? Well, the Bear Man has shut up shop and gone into hiding because of the pesky Corona Virus. The silly man, he doesn't even stock Corona!

I managed to find another beer shop, a poorer one to be sure but a beer shop none the less. The beers I hawked out from there were of the brown variety.

Brown beers? You say.

Yes, but don't worry. These brown beers won't chase you up a tree in the wilds of Yosimmity or wherever the fuck brown bears live.

No, these are just plain old beers. Although, hopefully, they have a little bite.

So what is first?

Cigar City Brewing, a class establishment. I have drunk a couple of fine beers from them in the past so when I saw this delicious sounding beast I knew I had to have it.

Who doesn't love a cookie and this sounds like an awesome cookie of a beer.

Let's taste!

Brown?! This thing is positively black! Look at it. You can't see through it or anything. It has a delicate little head on top of its brackish brown depths. It looks almost like beef stew.

Neck it!

What in the name of fuck?! This is a travesty! It tastes of nothing! Seriously. Well, it doesn't taste of nothing. Perhaps that is a little harsh.

It tastes slightly wet and sour. Like BALLS. Drowned man's balls.

I mean, maybe that could be their media campaign?

Hey, come taste our beer, it tastes slightly wet like a drowned man's BALLS!?!

Oh dear. 1/10 booms. Not even sure it warrants a 1!

Next.

Look at the design on this one. It is totally awesome in a retro way. The name too. I Wanna Be Your Frog. Now I have Iggy Pop running about in my head. Yikes! A maple brown ale. I do like a maple beer. You gotta be able to taste that maple though!

But never mind the fancy flashy design and the cunning name. It takes more than that to fool a man of my calibre.

How does it taste?

Ooo, would you look at that? This is quite astonishing, it actually looks like Maple Syrup. I am a huge maple syrup fan ever since I went out with Sandra from the Drumchapel. Ooft, she was a one and no mistake.

Let's go!

Dang a doodle ding dong!! It's awesome, sweet as anything but malty too and a wee bit caramel'y. I love it. It is strong and punchy and sticky like a big boozy pudding!

What an extreme compared to the last one. I seem to be throwing 10's out like confetti these days but here goes again, 10/10 booms!!!

What a week. What a weekend. What a beer that last one was.

I'm off to get drunk.

Have a good one dudes!

Cheers!