RE: Daily Dose of Sultnpapper 05/07/18 > I think it is all behind us now… for a while anyway.
So. I have a question. As with all my questions, this one is serious.
If I sign up early enough for your church can I get in on the receiving part with out so much on the giving part? I'd be pretty interested.
I have some qualifications. I spent much of my life working for non-profits, though that isn't exactly how I'd hoped they might turn out. It's been a while, but I suspect I could whip up on the fire and brimstone if needed. And my father named me with the idea that I might be a preacher cause his best friend in HS was the son of a preacher who was killed in WWII. Turns out the name wasn't anywhere near enough to overcome the inertia of my life...
I'm glad Blondie got confirmed in good order, and that there was relative peace and harmony on the way there.
Of course you can Tom. I will have to save some souls for free to get started so, just like any business I'll have some "hell of a great" specials when I get started, even a few free. So, then when I do expand and take on associates to help run the church naturally I'll want to have those folks be people I'm familiar with so getting to The Church of Sult N Papper early would be a great advantage with a potential big payoff if things go according to the good Lord's plan. I have a vision that some day I will move from the printed word of God to the spoken word, and when I do I will need an assistant associate pastor to help when we have a Sunday morning Gospel hour over on the Steem Star radio network. Can I get AMEN,? I said, CAN I GET AN AMEN?
AMEN BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!!!
So, the answer to your question is YES, AMEN yes, hallelujah.
You guys are plumb crazy, you know?
You make it sound like that is a bad thing, being "plumb crazy" @enchantedspirit . Of course we know we are crazy, we're not stupid.
We are crazy about helping people connect with Lord and disconnect from that evil substance called money. We are just being transparent with our approach, unlike all those churches and preachers. The blockchain is all about transparency, so we are just getting out front on that so none can accuse us later of trying to hide things. People can tithe with confidence in the Church of Sult N Papper and know with great certainty that their offerings will be appreciated and used wisely, not for lavish mansions, jet planes, expensive automobiles and such.
Speaking of transparency, I forgot to mention why I have chosen southwest Texas for the physical location. I had thought about central Texas, just outside of Waco, but the last preacher who set up his church around there named David Koresh proved that the Baptist's in that area didn't appreciate the competition and we all know how that turned out. So I figure that the foothills of the Davis mountains in the south west part will be a good place, barely anyone lives in that area, plus the land isn't real expensive down there yet.
AMEN! AMEN!
Mark Twain was particularly fond of the 11th hour conversions, but I'm thinking we'd want to get started a little earlier while they still have some earning potential left...
Well , hallelujah, I've gotten my first AMEN! AMEN! as a preacher, I am almost speechless, almost. So while I can still get a few thoughts and words out, I guess I didn't realize just how desperate a situation we have at hand here. With that in mind I am going to ordain you as a Deacon in The Church of Sult N Papper, "You are hereby ordained Bigtom as Deacon of the nondenominational The Church of Sult N Papper , with all the blessing, rights, and privileges as determined by the Pastor Sult N Papper. As I proclaim, so shall it be. Amen.", by @sultnpapper.
Welcome to the fold, Deacon Bigtom.
Our first sermon and service will be conducted this coming Sunday right here on steemit.com.
We need to come up with a church motto, I was thinking maybe something like, "The Church of Sult N Papper , where religion is really as simple as black and white." How does that sound?
Amen. Amen. I am proud and pleased to be the first Deacon.
I have a small problem with the slogan, though. If it's as simple as black and white they might figure out that they don't really need the Pastor and the Deacon. I think it needs to be so complex that it takes experts to translate it.
Is it time to pass he plate yet?
Quite the opposite Deacon , people now don't know black from white, everything now is grey, I've heard there are like 50 Shades of Grey, so we have a lot to do to get people where they can understand simple things again, in easy to understand terms. My intent will be to make the word where even the people who work in Star Bucks can understand it. Plus, I will leave big blank spaces at the ends of the sermons where they can draw pictures like they do on the coffee cups so they won't feel intimidated.
I think we wait on passing the plate quite yet, since we will be continuously circulating it throughout the congregation during church services, my calculations have determined they will have at least three times during each service where they can contribute. But might want to get a BIG PLATTER, not some little collection plate.
Well, now you know. That right there is why you are the Pastor and I am the Deacon. You see, I took your words at face value with out once taking into account the 50 shades of gray between, let alone the anatomy. That ought to be complex enough to guarantee success.
We might want something that looks like a spaghetti pot to send around. It'd be a crying shame if they didn't have room for their donations. Wouldn't want to deprive anybody of their God given right to contribute.
Yes, even what seems like would be cut and dried is no where near that now days. I think that when we start , we just go to page one and start working our way through the book. And as we get it all straighten out , then we will publish a new and improved version of the good book. I checked today, there are only 50 different versions of the bible printed in English, I'm sure there is room for one more. And for an extra donation we can personally autograph them on the inside cover.